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The Bezos-Sanchez wedding was a $20 million trash fest… but it’s made all the more embarrassing by the A-list couple who’ve shown them how to REALLY do it

BBG News

The story involves two weddings, one city, and ten years apart; the difference in elegance and sophistication between them is vast.

After Venice has managed to bounce back from the extravagant wedding of Bezos and Sanchez, which was marked by anti-capitalist demonstrations, severe weather events, and frequent displays of Kardashian cleavage, I find myself reminiscing about a more refined event that once took place in the city on water.

After Venice has recovered from the flashy Bezos/Sanchez wedding with its anti-capitalist protests, freak storms, and constant Kardashian cleavage exposure, I can’t help but think back to a more elegant event that happened in this city.

In 2014, George and Amal Clooney established a model for sophisticated Italian society at the elegant seven-star Aman Grand Canal Hotel, demonstrating timeless charm reminiscent of a classic love story fit for the historic City of Love.

On a relatively smaller budget of approximately $4.6 million, the couple, having met in Italy a year prior, exchanged vows in the presence of only 60 guests. The crowd, boasting some notable figures like Anna Wintour and Cindy Crawford, was impeccably attired, not casually so, in contrast to Kim, Khloe, Kylie, and Kendall who were among the numerous celebrities known for dressing less formally at the Bezos’ wedding festivities.

In a tailor-made Armani cashmere suit that accentuated him, George exuded an air of smoldering charm. On the other hand, Amal, a Lebanese British human rights attorney, radiated grace and modesty in a delicate Oscar de la Renta wedding dress.

Simply put, the attractive Clooneys seemed naturally prepared for their picture without giving an overly eager impression, a contrast to Jeff and Lauren, who often appear overly enthusiastic in poses.

Indeed, it’s possible that both the 61-year-old Amazon founder and the 55-year-old astronaut might have booked their stays at the same hotel and hired the same London event planners, Lanza & Baucina, as a high-profile pair. However, the outcomes of their events could not have been more distinct.

Due to the entire wedding ambiance, spanning over three days of festivities, appearing more akin to a reality television production rather than the glamour of classic Hollywood.

In a traditional tuxedo and showing signs of a recent makeover, Jeff appeared less like a tech mogul and more like a businessman headed for a conference meeting.

It’s clear that things got underway in a lively manner, as the couple (who together are 111 years old) started the event with a foam party on the luxurious deck of their yacht, which is valued at $500 million.

The pair seem to have a gift for making eyewatering expenditure look spectacularly cheap.

Instead of just seizing control of a single hotel, why not opt for leasing an entire island like San Giorgio Maggiore for your special event instead?

Instead of passing up the opportunity to enhance your existing $3 million, 30-carat pink diamond engagement ring to a stunning 35-carat, egg-sized diamond gemstone, why not consider it? Compared to Amal’s timeless and ethically sourced $500,000, seven-carat diamond sparkler, they may seem like gaudy costume pieces. Is there a chance you might prefer the allure of a larger, more impressive stone?

Instead of Amal stuning in three famous outfits – a cream silk Stella McCartney pantsuit for the civil ceremony at Ca’ Farsetti Palace, an ivory Oscar de la Renta wedding gown, and a silver dress for the reception – Sanchez chose a continuous series of outfit transformations.

Among the notable moments was a striking Schiaparelli corset dress, priced at an eye-catching $100,000. Worn at Thursday’s welcome dinner, it gave the impression of a medieval serving staff member in its appearance.

The next day saw her adorned in a Hermes headscarf and a Dior cream suit, which some might argue was a tribute to Italian style icon Sophia Loren. However, the ensemble seemed less reminiscent of Loren’s timeless elegance and more like an imitation that veered towards parody rather than a faithful representation.

Indeed, the wedding dress Sanchez donned on her special day – featuring a high neckline and adorned with delicate Italian lace painstakingly sewn by hand – represented an unexpected yet elegant display of moderation.

Absolutely, subtly promoting your 0.0001% qualifications isn’t always effective; instead, it’s often more persuasive to emphasize them through robust and tactful security measures.

Last week, it was challenging for locals and visitors alike to navigate their way through Venice due to unsightly construction sites, road blockages, and crowded water taxi services. It felt like navigating a maze with obstacles at every turn.

Many Venetians found themselves more irritated than enchanted by the love story of the Clooneys, as their low-key celebrations had minimal impact on the city’s canals.

Simultaneously, tired of the continuous drone of private jets above, climate change activists demonstrates their disapproval towards the ostentatious extravagance of Bezos and Sanchez, which seemed oblivious to the issue at hand.

While the constant noise from private jets was grating, climate change protesters protested against the insensitive display of wealth by both Bezos and Sanchez.

Instead of receiving gifts, the newly titled Mr and Mrs Bezos requested that their wedding guests make charitable contributions, which they arranged, to UNESCO’s Venice office. This was done in an effort to promote sustainability rather than adding to their already substantial carbon footprint.

Well, that covers that then.

Kudos to the brilliant event architects, Lanza & Baucina, for maintaining their composure while discussing their client’s unique request to ensure minimal interruption within the urban landscape. It takes a true professional to navigate such requests with grace and finesse!

Additionally, they highlighted the delicate nature of the couple’s preference for local vendors, such as Rosa Salva, the venerable bakery in Venice, which undoubtedly labored in vain, catering to the tightly laced and appetite-driven attendees who were using Ozempic.

If someone were to eat a cream puff, may it bring them sweetness instead of the bitterness that this prolonged marriage ordeal has given us all.

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2025-06-30 22:23

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