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Sydney’s Secret Dating Club: Why I Was Banned From the ‘Blue Bloods’

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Recently, I found myself seething at a gathering where I was served a meal that left me boiling with anger – an anger that refuses to subside, even as the days roll by. In truth, I’m still trying to make sense of it all, appalled by how the conversation veered into such distasteful territory.

As it transpires, there exists a clandestine, antiquated guidebook governing dating among Sydney’s high society circles, and unfortunately, I don’t seem to meet their criteria.

At the dinner, the topic that came up was ‘blue bloods’, which refers to an exclusive social group consisting of wealthy families residing in the affluent northern coast and eastern suburbs. This group has specific notions about who is suitable for dating.

If you lack the specific last name, a property in the Scottish Highlands, or a subscription to the exclusive polo club, your chances of being welcomed are comparable to finding fast food at a fine art exhibition.

Yes, this sort of thing is still happening. Allow me to explain.

At a dinner gathering, a friend opened up to me about troubles in his relationship. This wasn’t your typical contemporary love life struggle; rather, his girlfriend had unexpectedly become distant, leaving him puzzled and frustrated.

Later on, someone else at the table spoke rather directly (it should be noted, following several glasses of wine), stating that the reason was due to a perceived lack of aristocratic lineage in him. Furthermore, they added that his family shared this same lack of noble ancestry.

Yes, that’s a direct quote.

Indeed, the man at our table boasted about his aristocratic background, a claim so steeped in entitlement it was nearly nauseating. He went on to justify his bold assertion as fitting even within refined social circles. Yuck, disgusting.

It was unexpected for my friend, but it seems there had been a lot of secret disagreements happening among his girlfriend, her family, and their social group regarding the reasons they thought my friend was an inappropriate partner for her.

To put it simply, my cherished friend hails from a modest suburban background. Over time, through sheer determination and effort, he’s managed to climb the ladder of success in business and has earned a prominent position within Sydney’s social circles.

He has money – no one can deny that. The problem is… it’s new money.

Instead of saying “His girlfriend comes from a wealthy family whose wealth has been accumulated over generations,” you could rephrase it as “Her family background is one of substantial wealth, a legacy that spans numerous generations through lucrative farming ventures, prudent investments, and strategic social connections, securing her prominent societal status even before she was born.

At the dinner gathering, a series of conversations unfolded, emboldened by the boisterous openness characteristic of the elite, often stimulated by high-quality alcohol. It was an uncomfortable experience for many of us, especially those not accustomed to such social environments, as some of the remarks were downright insensitive.

Allow me to clarify, I had the privilege of attending an exclusive school and living comfortably. However, it was made clear to me, despite our family’s prosperous agricultural history, we were considered not quite “aristocracy” or “blue-blooded” enough by some.

Indeed, there were other reasons beyond just a single imperfection that kept me from the exclusive dating scene in the Harbour City. I’ll share those stories with you at a later time.

Here’s an interesting point to consider: It’s not about personal dating choices we’re discussing here. Instead, it appears that Australia’s high-ranking families have strict rules about who their children should date, and it’s not just a matter of preference – they require it.

Marrying someone from outside your cultural or social group is not merely disapproved of, but it can escalate into a significant controversy, one that might even prompt family intervention if someone were to become romantically involved with an unsuitable partner.

Apologies for my misunderstanding. I believed that Australia was established as a nation primarily for convicts who were transported here under duress and with shame. It seems this perception of mine as a mere reflection of British upper-class ideology might be inaccurate.

In a moment of mounting anger, a compassionate acquaintance confided that his in-laws have not fully embraced him like they do the other spouses in the family – primarily due to differences in religious beliefs, which don’t align with their own family traditions.

When I boldly questioned its absurdity, I was immediately made aware that I, an ardent admirer and writer of dating advice, particularly focusing on women’s pleasure, would not find acceptance within their exclusive circle, despite any familial connections.

In a rather unfortunate turn of events, it seems that voicing conversations about women’s pleasure labels me as a risk, a disgrace, an inconvenience. (Interestingly enough, it appears that many of their spouses are privately reaching out to me – but I suppose we should continue with the charade that I am the one causing the uproar here.)

It seems that during our lively discussion over dinner, we uncovered some fundamental guidelines for “blue-blood” dating. Upon reflection, it appears these rules can be succinctly summarized as a handful of quite basic (and unfortunately superficial) principles.

A blue blood must:

Avoid dating individuals with a history that might raise eyebrows or cause embarrassment in a more traditional setting. Even if you’ve outgrown past indiscretions, they may still be relevant factors in potential romantic relationships.

It’s not wise for me to date someone who comes from a high-profile family, as they might find my job unsuitable or scandalous. For instance, if I write for a reputed newspaper like The Australian or the Financial Review, it wouldn’t be an issue. However, since I write about sensational stories for the Daily Mail, it definitely creates complications. As one arrogant individual put it at dinner, “We wouldn’t want to be linked with you in our social circle.” When I asked why he follows me on social media, his response was that, honestly, he shouldn’t. It’s hard to believe, but it’s true! Needless to say, I no longer follow him.

It is important for them to share the same faith. They tend to prefer sticking close to their own religious backgrounds. Quite traditional.

Women may choose to date an athlete, but it’s crucial they come from the right sport. Sports such as rugby union, tennis, skiing, or sailing are perfectly fine. However, rugby league, Australian Rules Football (AFL), and any sports involving motorbikes, boxing, or soccer are generally not preferred. The upper class prefers their athletes to be well-mannered, articulate, and dressed smartly at post-match events.

I strongly believe that the wealth in my family has been around for a long time, not something recently acquired. This theory could be why a high-profile relationship didn’t last – if what I heard is true, he comes from an old-money background, she doesn’t. It seems this might be evidence that unions between old and new wealth aren’t always successful. Much the same was said about Kyle Sandilands, despite his substantial fortune, he wasn’t born into Sydney’s established circles, making his marriage to Tegan Kynaston raise some eyebrows in certain high-end social groups. Fortunately, they don’t belong to our immediate circle.

As I delved further into it, I came to understand that this wasn’t just a small, obscure group – rather, it was a widespread Sydney dating trend that outshines even the bustling scenes of Chelsea and Manhattan.

Listen closely, esteemed reader, as I reveal an intriguing twist in the high society circle: The self-made millionaires on Australia’s wealthy elite list have surpassed the blue bloods in wealth, achievements, and power.

As a lifestyle connoisseur, I can’t help but marvel at the impressive property portfolios amassed by tech trailblazers such as Mike Cannon-Brookes and Scott Farquhar, the visionaries who turned Atlassian into a global powerhouse and made their mark on Sydney’s skyline.

Or Nick Molnar, the innovator behind Afterpay, transformed our shopping experience and cashed out his business for a fortune before many aristocrats had even glanced at their family trust funds.

The twist is these individuals, though rich, remain outcasts among aristocratic circles due to their self-made fortune, as opposed to having inherited it from their ancestors.

Intrigued to learn the specific boundary, I inquired if the renowned Stu Laundy, indeed the very same Stu Laundy known for his pub empire and who captivated Sophie Monk’s (and once mine) heart, would be categorized as a noble-born individual.

It seems my attempt was quickly dismissed. Apparent reason being that, although his family’s fortune is significant, it has only been accumulated within the past generation.

In aristocratic circles, the fact that his father constructed a successful chain of pubs doesn’t carry much weight, as wealth there is often valued if it can be traced back multiple generations.

His ancestors missed the boat when the First Fleet set off from England. What a pity!

Firstly, let me clarify where his wealth comes from – it’s not just about having vast amounts in the bank; owning pubs is often considered ‘working-class money.’ So, despite owning some of Sydney’s most profitable venues, he may still face disdain from high society. It’s a tough crowd to impress.

Frankly, it appears rather elitist and arbitrary – who sets the boundaries? Is Lou Hay and Jake O’Neil considered old or new wealth? What about Bernadette Fahey and Jordan Sukkar – do they possess sufficient pedigree? Nathan Dalah and Georgia Fowler seem questionable inclusions, despite their wealth and beauty. (She is a New Zealander, you know.)

Here’s another perspective: Traditional matchmaking is experiencing a resurgence, though it’s quite different from the charming portrayals seen in romantic comedies.

In Sydney, as the divide between rich and poor widens, it becomes increasingly apparent that exclusive barriers, like unseen ropes made of fine velvet, are being erected in the most affluent neighborhoods.

If your family name isn’t influential, you might as well pass up on the Sydney high society when dating. (or) In other words, if your surname lacks prestige, you may want to disregard the Sydney elite while considering romantic options.

I prefer individuals who have built their own success, and for any social gathering, keep me well-distanced from the self-important social elites!

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2025-02-03 17:00

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