Sex scene showdown: Stars say intimacy coordinators ruin chemistry… expert argues the opposite

For a long time, Hollywood movies have avoided showing explicitly passionate and realistic sex scenes, unlike in the past.

However, some top actors are now challenging the growing use of intimacy coordinators. Stars like Jennifer Lawrence, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Jennifer Aniston believe this will help them create more genuine and natural chemistry in their scenes.

Top-grossing movies have shown almost a 40% decrease in sexually explicit content since the early 2000s.

Recent industry studies show the decrease is due to actors feeling more cautious about on-screen intimacy, changing audience expectations, and the increasing use of intimacy coordinators who plan and oversee physical interactions during filming.

After the #MeToo movement brought more attention to safety on set, intimacy coordinators became increasingly common during filming of intimate scenes. However, some experienced actors now express concern that this system can sometimes feel too formal and even hinder their performance.

Now, some of the industry’s most recognizable names are loudly rebelling.

Gwyneth Paltrow recently shared that she feels restricted on set when intimacy coordinators are present.

Gwyneth Paltrow, 52, recently told Vanity Fair that she asked the intimacy coordinator on the set of her upcoming A24 film, Marty Supreme, to give her a little more space while filming intimate scenes with Timothée Chalamet.

She explained with a laugh that things were different in her day, saying, ‘Back then, relationships were more private – it was about getting intimate behind closed doors.’

The Goop founder added that she and Chalamet, 29, had no discomfort performing their scenes. 

‘We said, ‘I think we’re good. You can step a little bit back.”

She added that she couldn’t speak to what it’s like for new artists, but if someone tried to direct her too specifically – like telling her exactly where to place a hand – she’d feel creatively restricted.

Jennifer Aniston, known for her role on Friends, recently shared a comparable feeling while discussing her show, The Morning Show, where she and Jon Hamm filmed close-up scenes together.

She fondly remembered Jon’s considerate nature, explaining to Variety that he consistently checked on opponents during matches, always asking, ‘Are you okay?’ after every hit.

Jennifer Aniston initially didn’t understand what an intimacy coordinator was when producers suggested hiring one, playfully referring to her early career as ‘the olden days.’

Ugh, someone actually asked if I was okay! Like, seriously? It was already SO awkward, and that just made it a million times worse. But honestly, we’ve been through so much, you know? We’re pros at dealing with things, we can totally handle this. We always do.

Jennifer Aniston said she always felt safe and comfortable while filming, thanks to director Mimi Leder and her close friendship with Jon Hamm.

Jennifer Lawrence, the Academy Award-winning actress, recently shared that she and Robert Pattinson filmed their intimate scenes without an intimacy coordinator for their new movie, Die My Love. Lawrence is 35 years old.

She explained on the Las Culturistas podcast that they didn’t have an intimacy coordinator on set, or if they did, the role wasn’t utilized effectively. She felt very comfortable and safe working with Robert Pattinson, describing him as respectful and genuinely in love with his girlfriend, Suki Waterhouse.

Lawrence said the comfort level between them eliminated any need for extra supervision. 

We were simply chatting about family and our relationships with others. There was never any awkwardness or wondering if someone had romantic feelings for me.

She explained that she would likely have used an intimacy coordinator if there had been more concern for boundaries on set. She noted that some male actors react negatively when their advances are rejected, and that can lead to repercussions. However, she clarified that the actor she was discussing was not one of those men.

Earlier this week, Florence Pugh admitted to having mixed experiences with intimacy coordinators.

She shared on the Louis Theroux podcast that she felt comfortable with intimacy even before it became part of her work. She described herself as confident and comfortable in her own skin, and someone who is always able to express herself effectively.

Despite what I thought or felt then, looking back, there were many instances where I was asked or directed to do things that were clearly inappropriate.

I’m also starting to feel differently about the role, as I’ve been having really positive experiences working with intimacy coordinators.

Florence recently shared that while she now has positive experiences with intimacy coordinators, she previously worked with one who was unhelpful and created an uncomfortable atmosphere on set.

Okay, so, most of the time it’s amazing meeting them, truly! But I have to admit, there was one time it was just… awful. This person made everything so uncomfortable and wasn’t helpful at all. They just seemed desperate to be involved, like they wanted to be on set, and it totally didn’t work. Honestly, I think everyone’s still trying to figure out the best way to handle these interactions, you know?

Honestly, working with really talented actors on intimate scenes has completely changed how I view them. Before, I found them incredibly awkward, but now I focus on the story within the scene. It’s not just about the act itself; it’s about why these characters are connecting, what their history is, how they physically express their feelings, and even how long they’ve been together. Understanding those details makes all the difference and helps create something truly meaningful. I never considered all of that before, but it’s crucial!

Everyone was focused on filming the scene bit by bit. I realized, while working with a great coordinator, that I’d been missing a crucial understanding: intimacy isn’t just about filming a sexual act, it’s a delicate process with its own rhythm and flow.

Some people are helpful, and others aren’t. But it’s the helpful ones who’ve really shown me how well things can work.

Florence talked about how filming intimate scenes has become much more considerate. Now, weeks before shooting, actors discuss boundaries – including ‘safe words’ and which parts of the body shouldn’t be touched – to ensure everyone feels safe and comfortable.

She explained that discussing intimate scenes well in advance of filming has actually made things easier. Previously, these conversations happened right on set, creating awkwardness. Now, having those discussions weeks beforehand removes the embarrassment.

As a lifestyle expert, I always emphasize the importance of open communication, especially when it comes to intimacy. What’s changed so much is that we now proactively discuss boundaries – things like safe words, designated safe spaces, and areas of the body that are off-limits. It used to be that these things weren’t talked about at all, leaving room for discomfort or misunderstanding. Now, we’re prioritizing clear, respectful conversations before anything happens, and that’s a really healthy shift.

Intimacy coordinators now ensure proper coverage on set. Previously, actors might be given ill-fitting undergarments, but now there’s someone dedicated to making sure everyone is comfortable and appropriately covered.

The use of intimacy coordinators became common after the #MeToo movement, establishing a process to ensure consent and address the longstanding power imbalances within the film industry.

IMDb now lists ‘role’ as an official professional credit, similar to how they recognize choreography or craft services, as reported by The Hollywood Reporter.

Yet the job remains misunderstood, and, at times, controversial. 

While the system has been effective at stopping abuse, some well-known figures, like Mikey Madison and Michael Douglas, aren’t sure it should be required for everyone.

Madison, the star of Sean Baker’s film Anora, revealed that she and her co-star, Mark Eydelshteyn, chose not to use a modesty advisor on set. She explained that, given her character’s profession as a sex worker and her familiarity with Baker’s commitment to realism, she felt prepared and viewed the role as professional work.

Douglas, meanwhile, said he believes the onus lies with the male actor to ensure professionalism.

He explained to reporters that, in his view, a man should take the lead in ensuring a woman feels at ease and communicate openly. He also noted the developing connection between the actors felt natural, which he believes is a sign of good performance.

Okay, so, Sean Bean – Ned Stark, my absolute hero – recently said something that everyone’s blown way out of proportion, honestly. He just mentioned that having intimacy coordinators on set sometimes takes away from the natural feeling of those scenes. I get why people are upset, but I totally see his point! It’s like, shouldn’t actors be able to, you know, act? It just feels… different when everything’s so planned out. I’m on Team Sean all the way!

He explained in 2022 that analyzing love and relationships too closely would destroy the spontaneity and natural feeling between people. He added that it would make him self-conscious and overly aware of small details.

After his comments, actress Rachel Zegler tweeted that intimacy coordinators create a safe working environment for actors, and she specifically appreciated the one she worked with on the set of West Side Story.

She described how people were kind and welcoming to her, even taking the time to teach those with more experience a thing or two. She also emphasized the importance of safety and planning during close-up scenes, warning, ‘Be careful and aware of your surroundings.’

Jameela Jamil was shocked by Rowan Bean’s remarks, stating that sex scenes on television should focus on the practical aspects of filming, rather than being explicit.

She explained that acting in intimate scenes is like performing a stunt – the goal is to make it appear natural and not awkward or forced. She emphasized that no one wants it to feel accidental or uncomfortable.

Today’s younger audiences, especially Gen Z, generally prefer stories that focus on emotions over explicit sexual content. However, many veteran actors miss the passionate and intimate scenes that were common in classic films like ‘Unfaithful,’ ‘Body Heat,’ and ‘Eyes Wide Shut’.

For them, the pendulum may have swung too far toward restraint.

As Paltrow put it, the new rules can make creativity feel mechanical.

She acknowledged the need for the change, but explained that, having worked in the field for so long, she worried it might disrupt the natural flow between performers.

Yehuda Duenyas, an experienced intimacy coordinator and director known for immersive experiences, shared his perspective on the increasing disagreement with The Daily Mail.

Duenyas, a highly-awarded creative professional with an Emmy, eight Cannes Lions, eleven Clios, and an OBIE, believes the actors’ complaints are legitimate, but focused on the wrong issues.

When intimacy coordinators are overly strict or interfere too much, it can hinder the creative process. However, this isn’t a problem with the coordinator role itself, but rather with how it’s being carried out.

He believes that successful work should feel seamless and like a team effort, rather than feeling forced or robotic.

He explained that a talented intimacy coordinator, working as a true partner, can help scenes flow smoothly and enhance their artistic quality.

Some established actors miss the less-structured environment before the #MeToo movement, but Duenyas believes that having rules and allowing creative freedom aren’t mutually exclusive.

Honestly, when I see really good acting, it’s like magic, but it’s not just luck! It’s this amazing blend of them just clicking with each other, having that natural spark, but also working within a plan. People think detailed direction or choreography will ruin a raw, emotional moment, but it doesn’t! It actually helps! It gives the actors a safe space, almost like a playground, where they can really let loose and just feel the scene, instead of being scared to try anything spontaneous. It’s brilliant, honestly.

He points out that intimacy work is similar to stunt work in that no one would ever improvise a dangerous physical scene. Instead, everything is carefully planned, practiced, and performed with precision.

Sex scenes, he says, deserve the same care.

Feeling safe and being true to yourself actually go hand-in-hand. The belief that protecting boundaries stifles creativity stems from a flawed understanding of the creative process.

Duenyas explained that differing views on intimacy coordination between younger and older actors could stem from generational differences and evolving cultural norms.

He explained that today’s younger performers have been raised with open conversations about important topics like consent, personal boundaries, who they are, and all aspects of sexuality. Because of this, they naturally look for clear guidelines, honesty, and a supportive environment in their work.

In the past, actors often came from a tradition where personal boundaries on set weren’t openly discussed, and they were expected to deal with discomfort privately. This has led to different approaches over time. It’s less about age and more about a change in how things are done and what’s considered acceptable on set.

He believes this difference explains why some established actors, like Gwyneth Paltrow and Jennifer Aniston, might feel micromanaged, whereas younger stars from Generation Z tend to feel more in control and confident.

Duenyas doesn’t deny that some coordinators, like the one Pugh described, mishandle the process.

Departments sometimes struggle to work together smoothly when communication breaks down or people have conflicting personalities. Film sets are complicated environments, and creating intimate scenes requires careful coordination between actors, directors, choreographers, and everyone involved, while also prioritizing emotional well-being and managing the demands of production.

A skilled set coordinator helps everyone do their best work. They aim to eliminate confusion, ease anxieties, and reduce underlying tension so performers can be genuine and natural.

Following the #MeToo movement, the initial focus was on preventing harm. However, intimacy coordination is now developing as a recognized artistic skill.

We’ve moved beyond simply ensuring consent is obtained. Now, we’re focused on creating more complex characters, realistic relationships, and scenes that explore what it means to be human. Our approach is evolving from just meeting requirements to truly creating art.

He runs CINTIMA, a SAG-AFTRA-approved training program, where he teaches coordinators everything they need to succeed – from movement and choreography to understanding trauma and intimacy on set. He also covers the filmmaking process and the administrative skills required to lead a department.

Intimacy coordinators are skilled professionals who bring a specialized expertise to set, and their work helps improve the creative quality of a project. They aren’t just filling an HR role.

Duenyas went on to drive home his point that true spontaneity and structure can, and must, coexist. 

While some famous actors have criticized the practice, many others—particularly those who frequently collaborate with skilled coordinators—firmly support it.

Olivia Colman, who won an Academy Award, has often spoken highly of intimacy coordinators, especially praising Ita O’Brien, a well-known professional in the field.

She shared on Amy Poehler’s podcast that she’d work with this person on every project if she could, praising their complete understanding and ability to transform ideas into something beautiful, like a dance routine. She emphasized she couldn’t have achieved success without them.

As someone who’s spent years helping people feel comfortable and empowered on set, I have to say, intimacy coordinators are a game-changer. I was working with an actor recently, and things were getting quite intense. Just as they were nearing climax, the coordinator gently reminded them – ‘Imagine the sun is hitting your face.’ It was a brilliant little technique to help them stay present and grounded, and honestly, it worked like a charm! It’s all about creating a safe and supportive environment where performers can fully embody their roles without losing themselves.

Michaela Coel, who won a BAFTA award in 2021 for her show I May Destroy You, gave a special shout-out to O’Brien during her acceptance speech, and then explained the reason behind it to the audience.

She expressed gratitude for their presence in the field, explaining that their work set a positive example, allowing others to address difficult topics like exploitation without experiencing it themselves.

In an interview with The Daily Mail, O’Brien discussed the emotional difficulties actors used to experience before mental health support became common on film and television sets.

She explained that without an intimacy coordinator, actors often hesitate to voice concerns, worried they’ll be seen as problematic or hard to work with.

O’Brien explained that the Intimacy On Set Guidelines she developed significantly improved the work environment and overall culture.

She also pointed out that a lack of clear rules leaves performers feeling anxious and uncomfortable, and can unfortunately lead to inappropriate physical contact.

Some famous actresses, including Gwyneth Paltrow, Jennifer Aniston, and Jennifer Lawrence, believe on-set intimacy should be handled with a gentle approach. However, experts and respected actresses like Justine Duenyas and Caitlin O’Brien strongly argue that intimacy coordinators are crucial – not just to keep actors safe, but also to improve the quality of the storytelling.

Duenyas believes the future depends on raising standards, not abandoning the role.

When moments of closeness are handled with care and a skilled artistic touch, they feel genuine and real. Viewers experience a heartfelt connection instead of something that feels staged or artificial.

In other words, not fewer intimacy coordinators, just better ones.

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2025-11-23 21:42