Selling Sunset star Mary Fitzgerald Bonnet admits traumatising sexual assault left her with intimacy issues and admits conceiving children with ‘kind, loving and patient’ husband Romain might ‘never be on the cards’

Selling Sunset star Mary Fitzgerald Bonnet admits traumatising sexual assault left her with intimacy issues and admits conceiving children with 'kind, loving and patient' husband Romain might 'never be on the cards'

As I delve deeper into this heartfelt narrative, I find myself profoundly moved by Mary Bonnet’s courage and resilience. Her journey, marked by trials and tribulations, is a testament to human spirit’s indomitable power. Writing about her past, though initially daunting, has proven to be cathartic, a step towards healing.


In her own words, Selling Sunset’s Mary Fitzgerald shares that the traumatic experience of sexual assault she suffered over a decade past has had a profound impact on her relationship with her spouse, Romain.

As an ardent admirer, let me share with you that this remarkable woman, the American realtor, has bared all in her heartfelt memoir entitled “Selling Sunshine: Surviving Teenage Motherhood, Thriving in Luxury Real Estate, and Finally Finding My Voice.” This riveting tale was released to the public on September 24.

Speaking about the upcoming book, Bonnet, aged 44, mentions that the long-term effects have affected her relationship with her husband, Romain, who is 30 and they got married in 2018.

She mentioned, “I’ve always kept things to myself.” However, it’s crucial to share feelings with others as unexpected trauma can occur swiftly, making it difficult to shield oneself entirely. By not communicating, we may unintentionally expose ourselves to potential triggers.

Despite being with a man as kind, patient, and attractive as Romain, there are times when I still feel awful. Sometimes, even when he doesn’t initiate, I can sense his touch approaching, and I involuntarily recoil, shivering with discomfort.

Selling Sunset star Mary Fitzgerald Bonnet admits traumatising sexual assault left her with intimacy issues and admits conceiving children with 'kind, loving and patient' husband Romain might 'never be on the cards'

She explained: “He said ‘that hurts my feelings,’ and I responded, ‘It’s not you, it’s not about you at all.’ This is when I began using EMDR therapy because I never want to cause him distress, but the reaction is something I can’t control. It happens automatically.

“It seems crucial that we help women gain the confidence and skills needed to identify potentially dangerous scenarios, avoid them whenever possible, and understand that they should never feel responsible or guilty for the actions of predators.

‘There’s no reason to believe only men are capable; women can excel at this task as well. Let’s foster an environment of inclusivity, speak up, and offer support where possible.’

In Chapter 6 of Selling Sunshine, titled “Rock Bottom”, she recounts an incident where she was assaulted during Memorial Day weekend, which occurred prior to her working alongside Amanza Smith at the Oppenheim Group, who is a cast member on Selling Sunset.

Joe, a man she knows, extended an invitation to his Los Angeles apartment. There, they were expected to be joined by another acquaintance she was more familiar with, and together they would connect with a larger circle of their mutual friends.

However, upon reaching Joe’s place, there were just the two of them present. He handed her a glass containing a vibrant blue substance, stating it was a vodka cocktail. This drink led to her fainting swiftly, followed by an assault incident.

In her writing, she describes waking up to find herself on Joe’s bed, with her arms restrained by the mattress, and her pants at her feet. She explains that Joe was lying on top of her and had become intimate with her.

Mary said she ran out of the apartment ‘bawling and shaking’ and went into ‘total survival mode.’ 

Selling Sunset star Mary Fitzgerald Bonnet admits traumatising sexual assault left her with intimacy issues and admits conceiving children with 'kind, loving and patient' husband Romain might 'never be on the cards'
Selling Sunset star Mary Fitzgerald Bonnet admits traumatising sexual assault left her with intimacy issues and admits conceiving children with 'kind, loving and patient' husband Romain might 'never be on the cards'

Following the traumatic incident, she documents her strategies for coping with it and finding ways to manage, if not completely overcome, its lasting effects on her life.

She continued, “That fateful night continues to cast a shadow over me. As a precaution, I avoid visiting homes of strangers and prefer not to be in secluded situations with men who aren’t my long-term friends or are openly homosexual. This way, I can ensure my safety.

Currently, Bonnet is actively marketing her memoir throughout the United Kingdom, such as her recent stint on the Saturday Morning Live program at GB News, co-hosted by Ben Leo and Ellie Costello.

And she admits recalling her assault during the writing process has been a cathartic experience. 

She expressed: “I believe it has helped me heal. At first, while I was composing it, I didn’t sense that improvement as I had built a barrier.

It seems like you need to approach it without overthinking. I attended therapy, underwent EMDR, and I believe this is something I will continue to struggle with for the long term.

However, I’ve significantly improved my situation. It’s disheartening to realize that countless others experience similar hardships, and the weight of it can linger, making one feel somewhat embarrassed or ashamed.

“I feel compelled to share my difficult past in the hope that others might benefit from my experience. By speaking out, I aim to help others improve and find solace in knowing they are not alone. Even though I can’t change the past, I believe it’s worthwhile for me to do so.

Selling Sunset star Mary Fitzgerald Bonnet admits traumatising sexual assault left her with intimacy issues and admits conceiving children with 'kind, loving and patient' husband Romain might 'never be on the cards'
Selling Sunset star Mary Fitzgerald Bonnet admits traumatising sexual assault left her with intimacy issues and admits conceiving children with 'kind, loving and patient' husband Romain might 'never be on the cards'

At the age of 16, Bonnet gave birth to her son Austin Babbit, who was her sole child with an unnamed previous partner. Over the past few years, she has faced challenges with fertility and has expressed a willingness to consider surrogacy. Previously, she openly discussed this option due to having experienced a septic miscarriage and multiple rounds of IVF treatments.

She expressed that it has been challenging, mentioning her struggle to comprehend his immense patience and compassion. However, they share an abundance of love for one another.

As a devoted follower, I hadn’t envisioned expanding our family further. Yet, the thought of welcoming another child, particularly for him, and sharing an incredible journey filled me with longing. However, my path proved to be arduous. It feels rewarding to finally embark on this journey in the right manner, but it shouldn’t be this challenging.

‘But if it’s not in the cards for us, it’s just not and we’re both okay with that.’

She added: ‘He has just fallen in love with our fur baby a boy, Thor, he’s like his son and oh, my goodness, I have never seen someone so obsessed with their dog.’ 

Bonnet mentions that the couple haven’t talked about whether they will choose surrogacy or adoption yet as something they’re seriously considering.

She remarked, “Given how many children are available for adoption, this could present a suitable chance.” Regarding Romain, I doubt he yearns for a baby merely for the sake of having one. Instead, I believe he desires one that is truly his own.

We haven’t discussed it extensively yet, as we want to try and see if it’s feasible first. When the time comes, we’ll deal with it then, since we enjoy traveling so much. However, this could be put on hold for quite some time.

Although it may seem possible, it’s not the same situation. It’s a give-and-take scenario as engaging in various activities would limit your freedom due to time constraints or other commitments.

‘It’s part of it.’ 

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2024-09-15 17:53

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