Ruby Wax, 71, tells Paloma Faith she’s going to become a death doula – as star opens up on mortality and the tragic death of her good friend Alan Rickman

Ruby Wax shared that she’s enrolled in a program with the goal of becoming a death doula, as discussed during her interview on Paloma Faith’s Mad Sad Bad podcast.

As a lifestyle guide, I’d like to share some insights from a beloved American comedian, who at 71, has been open about embracing the inevitability of mortality. She confessed that contemplating death is her most significant apprehension.

She mentioned that she frequently contemplated death, approximately four times daily, and often more so around her birthdays, as expressed in an article on Huffpost several years ago.

On New Year’s Eve, I find myself penning my own epitaph, while those around me celebrate with bursting balloons, I ponder that another year has brought me a step closer to life’s conclusion.

Ruby has shared her thoughts on mortality once more, disclosing that she intends to train as a death doula.

A death doula, also known as an end-of-life doula, is a caring, professionally trained individual who provides emotional and practical support for people diagnosed with terminal illnesses, as well as their loved ones.

Many dedicated individuals pursuing a career as doulas go through intensive training to ensure they can provide both hands-on assistance and emotional comfort when needed, thereby fulfilling their roles effectively.

Ruby has decided to start her training in September. She shared this news with Paloma, aged 43, on a podcast by the British singer recently: “When was my last moment of sadness? I believe there’s always a degree of sadness since I’m acutely aware that we’ll eventually pass away.

Paloma asked, “Is it because the world is ending, or because we are human and have a finite lifespan?” The 71-year-old replied, “It’s because I am human and have a limited lifespan.

I frequently ponder this topic. By September, I have already booked an appointment – I am planning to train as a death doula.

Sure thing! “Absolutely, I’ll be attending a class. To be honest, I’m curious about who else will be enrolled in my course. So, I’ll spend a week there starting from September.

Over time, this comedian has been frank about facing death and battling issues related to mental health.

Ruby openly discussed her struggle with depression, revealing in the year 2022 that her mental health issues had reached a point where staying alive was a challenge.

But speaking to Paloma, the 71-year-old affirmed that she’s ‘numb’ and hasn’t cried in years.

‘I’m an example of numbness,’ she said: ‘I don’t feel anything. 

‘Generally, I maintain my composure and rarely shed tears or burst out laughing. However, there are exceptions. If someone close to me were to pass away, the emotional impact might overwhelm me.’

It was when Alan Rickman passed away (in 2016).

I assumed he might have a cardiac issue, leading me to advise others to find him a cardiologist. However, his partner corrected me, stating, “Actually, he’s terminally ill.

When I learned the news, I couldn’t contain my excitement – I rushed inside and flung myself upon him. My behavior was unbridled, as if a wild creature had taken over.

At another instance, when my son was off to university, I behaved like a distressed animal. I was down on all fours, howling, because he was merely heading to Southampton. Symbolically, I understood that he was leaving for good. It feels as if everything is saying farewell.

Pondering back on her friendship with Alan Rickman, best known for his role as Severus Snape in the Harry Potter series and who passed away from cancer in 2016, Ruby recalled the wisdom he had shared with her.

In my past as a comedian, he would often advise me, saying, “Tone it down a bit. Let the audience approach you instead.

After thirty years, I no longer appear famished while performing on stage. However, I must admit that I do carry a certain sense of self-importance, and I strive to be well-liked by many people.

In a chat with TopMob back in 2021, Ruby acknowledged that her buddy, Alan, played a significant role in transforming her into a comedian.

She expressed: ‘He was incredibly funny. Not only was he my mentor, but he showed me the ropes of comedy. In my eyes, he rescued me.’

‘He took a c*** actress and then turned her into a comedian against all odds. He was my protector’.

In January 2016, Alan passed away following a secretive struggle with pancreatic cancer. It wasn’t until just two weeks before his demise that Ruby learned about his health condition.

The humorist honored him by stating, ‘Everyone who knew him would agree he was the most generous person. In fact, children tell me today, “Alan sponsored my acting education, and I never crossed paths with him.” He fostered many individuals – true generosity indeed.’

Following Alan’s death, Ruby has been a vocal advocate and fundraiser for Pancreatic Cancer UK.

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2025-06-18 20:23