Rose Byrne summons a mighty motherly meltdown in ‘If I Had Legs I’d Kick You’

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Mary Bronstein’s film, “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You,” immediately immerses you in the overwhelming experience of a mother struggling with a crisis. For the next two hours, the film creates an intensely stressful and confining atmosphere, leaving you feeling a mix of reluctant respect, genuine fear, and ultimately, a sense of relief when it ends. It’s a demanding film, but a powerfully affecting one.

Is it possible for a movie to be *too* effective? This film certainly pushes that question. By the halfway mark, with the introduction of a particularly creepy hamster terrorizing the main character, Linda (Rose Byrne), you might think it has already achieved its disturbing goals. But there’s still a full hour left of intensely unsettling visuals, overwhelming sound, and bizarre imagery – the kind that would even unnerve a director like David Lynch. If you’re a woman considering motherhood, be warned: this film might make you reconsider.

What really struck me about “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” was how completely I connected with Linda. It’s all down to Mary Byrne’s incredible performance – she’s so raw and full of feeling, you just can’t forget her. Honestly, even though parts of the film felt slow and a little claustrophobic, I found myself thinking about Linda for days afterward. Byrne really captures the feeling of someone being worn down and almost disappearing under the weight of everything life throws at them, and it’s truly powerful.

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I have to say, Rose Byrne, who’s always been fantastic in everything from comedies like “Bridesmaids” to horror films like “Insidious,” really shines in “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You.” It’s a truly captivating performance – I’d even call it the best work of her career so far. She completely loses herself in the role, and it’s a joy to watch.

“If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” feels similar to the intense film “Uncut Gems” from 2019. This is partly because it was made with several key people from that film – Josh Safdie produced it, along with Ronald Bronstein, and the cinematography is by Christopher Messina, who also worked on the Safdies’ “Good Time.” This creative team isn’t afraid to take risks and push boundaries, even if it challenges viewers. Director and writer Mary Bronstein intentionally made the film unsettling, believing it was the only way to authentically portray the character’s breakdown.

The film plays with what’s real versus what isn’t. It begins with Linda talking to her young daughter, Delaney Quinn, though we only ever hear the daughter’s voice – a worried, persistent one. The daughter playfully states, “Mommy is stretchable,” which Linda immediately denies, insisting she’s definitely *not* stretchable and that she also doesn’t feel sad. However, the director, Bronstein, quickly proves her wrong with a close-up shot of Byrne’s face, showing just how deeply unhappy she is – down to the details of her skin.

Linda’s daughter is seriously ill and needs constant, specialized care, including a feeding tube, which is incredibly difficult for her to manage alone. Her husband is away for work and offers little help, mostly just calling to complain. To make matters worse, their apartment ceiling suddenly caved in, releasing a huge rush of water – it sounded and looked like a waterfall!

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Okay, movie fans, let me tell you what’s hitting the big screen this fall! We’re talking everything from a potential deep dive into the life of Bruce Springsteen, to a fresh take on Stephen King’s thrilling “The Running Man”, and even the continuation of the “Wicked” story. It’s shaping up to be a really exciting season at the movies, so mark your calendars!

Everything felt worse – the leaking water, the destruction, even the large hole in the ceiling – and it all seemed connected to Linda’s unstable mental health. It made you wonder if her daughter was even real, though the movie doesn’t really suggest that’s the case. The daughter’s simple request for a hamster and Linda’s exhausted agreement felt painfully realistic, though.

The movie is filled with quirky and memorable supporting characters, and the actors playing them all deliver excellent performances. When Linda and her daughter end up living in a motel, she finds an unexpected friend in a neighbor, rapper ASAP Rocky, who encourages her to break free from her routine. Conan O’Brien appears as Linda’s therapist, playing the role with surprising seriousness, which adds to the film’s subtle humor. We also meet Danielle Macdonald as another mother struggling with her own issues – and, interestingly, she’s one of Linda’s patients, because Linda is also a therapist, and a quite skilled one at that.

In “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You,” Linda consistently makes questionable choices, but these become understandable when you recognize how profoundly alone she is. The film is filled with themes of abandonment, and Linda desperately craves guidance or even just a little support. Instead, she encounters coldness, which may stem from her own feelings of isolation and despair. Director Bronstein forces you to focus on Linda, and actress Byrne delivers a powerful performance, fully embodying the character’s intense panic, making it impossible to look away.

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2025-10-09 13:35