Movies

Review: A decent date-night diversion, ‘Heart Eyes’ attacks slasher cliches with a wink

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Horror movies today often seem like they’re written as tributes to emotional pain. Characters, whether villains or victims, are required to have sad pasts – something that used to feel heartfelt but now appears overly sweet and insincere. In contrast, the film “Heart Eyes,” directed by Josh Ruben, harks back to an era when killers were genuinely creepy and victims were vulnerable. This Valentine’s Day-themed movie features public executions following excessive PDA (Public Display of Affection), offering a mix of amusing jokes, moderate scares, and a plot that’s as messy as two dogs sharing a spaghetti strand. As for a choice for a romantic evening, it’ll get the job done.

In a playful yet biting manner, the screenplay penned by Philip Murphy, Michael Kennedy, and Christopher Landon (notably the director of the witty slasher “Happy Death Day”) maintains a humorous tone. The objective of this movie, titled “Heart Eyes,” is twofold: it aims to lampoon romantic comedies and extract the last drop from slasher movie tropes. For the past three Februaries, an unidentified serial killer, infamously known as the Heart Eyes Killer due to emoji-shaped holes in his mask, has gruesomely murdered couples in Boston, Philadelphia, and Seattle, where this story unfolds.

As a film enthusiast, I must admit that the movie doesn’t appear to give the threat much credibility beyond a casual pat-down at candlelit eateries. The chase sequences, bathed in cool hues and shrouded in shadows, initially create an air of suspense. However, this tension dissipates swiftly once you grasp that the antagonist can materialize anywhere, unfettered by logic or the laws of physics. The horror elements are so flimsy they seem to challenge the audience, daring us to see through their thin veil, like a partner who presents a box of cheap candy hearts as an ironic jest rather than a heartfelt gesture.

In this story, I’m Ally (Olivia Holt), happily solo for now. My luck takes a turn when I encounter a captivating new colleague named Jay (Mason Gooding), who seems tailor-made to be my romantic partner. The delightful dynamic between us, reminiscent of a classic rom-com, is one of the standout aspects of the film – we’re both quirky individuals with a penchant for specific coffee orders, matching plaid outfits, and the same shade of taupe. We even work in the same department at a jewelry company! However, as fate would have it, I find Jay annoying, despite the Hollywood script that suggests otherwise.

On a demanding night when their boss (a tyrannical yet humorous figure, Michaela Watkins) insists they work together on an urgent project, these coworkers find themselves in the most inconvenient scenario. Struggling to safeguard their careers and lives, they unexpectedly form a somewhat successful team. Holt, a strong and appealing character, storms through the scenes, angered by the prospect of endangering her life for blood diamonds. In contrast, Jay, played by Gooding, seems more susceptible. “These muscles were not designed for violence,” he sighs, “They were made for hugging.

This comedy is a hodgepodge of multiple movie spoofs, as if a writers’ room brainstormed a list of films to satirize. The score occasionally echoes Bernard Herrmann’s style. Ally finds herself in hot water at work because her recent engagement ring ad uses scenes from “Romeo + Juliet” and “Titanic” that depict violent deaths, which is quite insensitive given the current wave of violence. (The internet is furious with her lack of sensitivity, some even suggesting she should be fired.) Gigi Zumbado’s character, Ally’s best friend, delivers a humorous monologue filled with dating advice that casually references a dozen movie titles. The inclusion of detectives Zeke Hobbs (played by Devin Sawa) and Jeanine Shaw (Jordana Brewster) even references the 2019 spin-off film “Hobbs & Shaw” from the “Fast and Furious” series.

In this movie, Ally and Jay argue over work amidst a whirlwind of danger, the main theme flashes boldly: “A Modern Twist on ‘His Girl Friday’ and ‘Friday the 13th’.” (Notably, they also run through a drive-in theater screening the iconic duo film starring Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell.) The blend of romance and chaos is intriguing. In “His Girl Friday,” ex-spouses rekindle their relationship while helping an accused murderer; in “Friday the 13th,” couples engage in passionate moments before meeting a grisly end. At one point, Grant playfully threatens his former wife, “I’d kill you if you ever worked for someone else.” Isn’t that romantic?

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On Valentine’s Day, some might argue that this holiday is the most controversial and criticized celebration worldwide. Even the most romantic individuals may secretly prefer Thanksgiving. Couples often feel burdened by the pressure, while singles often resent the presumption. In this scenario, the first couple to tie the knot have staged their engagement for maximum social media attention. Their relationship appears to be more about appearances than genuine affection: the oversized floral setting, the theatrical strawberry feeding, and the fiancée who seems to know every line of her partner’s surprise proposal by heart.

There’s joy in seeing influencers make mistakes (ha! Take that, fake ones). Yet, everyone puts on a mask to some degree, even the murderer whose elaborate displays of rose petals and dismembered body parts seem more like a romantic proposal at a high school dance than a gruesome scene. Ally and Jay are both sarcastic, often whispering their wittiest remarks – and their banter becomes more captivating than the violent spectacle itself. We find ourselves rooting for their blossoming connection so much that it’s almost anticlimactic when they have to flee for safety instead of continuing their flirtatious exchanges.

In much of the film, we struggle to understand the Heart Eyes Killer’s intentions. Is this mysterious murderer a disillusioned individual who despises the romantic idealism of Valentine’s Day, or simply someone frustrated by its commercial exploitation? The motive behind the killings of couples seems almost irrelevant. When a reason is eventually given, it’s as absurd as claiming a dog was responsible for the Son of Sam’s crimes. Additionally, there are too many distinctive weapons used: metal arrows blessed by Cupid, knives, tire irons, and even an industrial grape press – why bother with such a variety?

It seems this movie intentionally employs an unpredictable narrative style, as if the plot points were chosen by chance. Consequently, when the storyline becomes less engaging, our focus shifts to the creative sound design. Characters in the background, even those with minor roles, often demand attention due to their unexpected intrusions during typical film tropes. In one scene, Ally and Jay share a heartfelt conversation about how their parents’ influence affected their romantic lives from the front seat of a van. However, this heart-to-heart is intentionally overshadowed by the loud noises of an unidentified couple having sex in the back, serving as a humorous reminder that passion and death are inseparable, with one leading to the other. In essence, we’re not here for deep introspection, and the explicit sounds make us ponder if pleasure or pain is being experienced.

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2025-02-05 14:33

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