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Resident Alien’s Funniest Harry Vanderspeigle Quotes You Can’t Miss

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Harry Vanderspeigle from the series “Resident Alien” may outwardly resemble a human, but he often struggles to conceal his peculiar alien demeanor, leading to some genuinely eccentric and humorous scenes. In this underestimated production starring Alan Tudyk, an extraterrestrial lands on Earth and assumes the identity of a doctor in Patience, Colorado. As he endeavors to carry out his mission, Harry gradually becomes acquainted with the kindness that humanity possesses.

Due to Harry’s skewed viewpoint and disdain for humanity, he boasts an array of memorable lines, which range from sharp-witted insults to perceptive comments about human nature. The TV show Resident Alien is downright funny, and the quotable sayings of Harry Vanderspeigle are a major draw for viewers.

11. “Humans Do Stupid Things All The Time. It Is Like Their National Sport.”

Season 3, Episode 2: “The Upper Hand”

In the third season of “Resident Alien,” Harry teams up with a covert government group to thwart an impending attack on Earth by the Grey aliens. However, when a charming newcomer named Joseph arrives in Patience, it’s revealed that he is half-human and half-Grey alien hybrid. After initial confrontations, Harry and his companions ultimately outwit Joseph, compelling him to depart from town.

Regrettably, I’ve hit a wall trying to glean any details from Joseph regarding the Grays’ intentions for Earth. My inability to extract insider knowledge from him has left me feeling disheartened, causing me to question my own intellect, fearing that I might be growing too human and less adept. As the closing scene of “The Upper Hand” unfolds, I find myself sitting in my office, lost in thought, whispering to myself in a voiceover:

“I’ve failed. Again. Am I becoming…too human?

Upon my arrival on this planet, I stood out and excelled above others. However, adapting to human life seems to be wearing me down… It’s almost as if humans have a penchant for foolish behavior – it appears to be an unspoken tradition among them.

In all honesty, while Harry’s words may have struck me as unpleasant, there’s a kernel of truth in what he said that I can’t ignore.

10. “Human Infants Are The Only Mammal Whose Main Attribute Is Helpless Flopping.”

Season 2, Episode 8: “Alien Dinner Party”

In “Alien Dinner Party,” upon returning home from a New York trip, Harry discovers that Mayor Ben Hawthorne has orchestrated a surprise birthday celebration for him. Unfortunately, the situation turns sour as Harry possesses an alien egg which appears ready to hatch. Harry secretly stashes the egg in the basement, but later revisits only to find the empty eggshell and the newborn extraterrestrial missing.

In my critique, as I feverishly hunt for this extraterrestrial creature, my thoughts wander to the striking contrast between human and alien infants. Human newborns, it seems, are the sole mammals characterized by their helpless flailing, a stark comparison to the potentially perilous nature of these alien offspring. Time and again, I’m reminded of a universal truth about humanity from my extraordinary vantage point.

9. “A Birthday Party Is Just A Participation Trophy.”

Season 2, Episode 8: “Alien Dinner Party”

At another instance in “Alien Dinner Party,” Harry delivers another witty remark, this time commenting on what he perceives as irrational human actions. Upon returning home and unexpectedly finding a birthday celebration, Harry initially attempts to evict the gathering, only to reconsider when he discovers there might be pie on offer.

Indeed, it’s important to note that the celebration isn’t actually for Harry the Alien, but rather for Human Harry Vanderspeigle on his birthday. As he ponders the peculiarity of birthday celebrations, Harry’s thoughts reveal: “I don’t grasp why humans mark their birthdays. Since being alive implies having been born, it seems ordinary. A birthday party feels like an award just for showing up.” It’s a thought-provoking observation that many may not have pondered before.

8. “E.T. Was An Idiot. Obviously Sexy. Very Attractive… But So Dumb.”

Season 2, Episode 3: “Girls Night”

In the second season of Resident Alien, it’s disclosed that Harry originally intended to annihilate all humans when he arrived on Earth. This revelation leaves Asta shocked and outraged, prompting her to urge Harry to connect with his home planet and halt their destructive actions towards humanity. In response, Harry decides to construct a radio using the remnants of his spaceship in an attempt to make contact.

In the episode titled “Girls Night,” Harry discusses his radio project with Asta, sharing his struggles in locating the necessary alien technology. Asta suggests he should think outside the box, using E.T. as an illustration. This prompts Harry to express, humorously, that E.T. might have been charming and attractive, but was also quite dimwitted. This sets the stage for a recurring joke across the series, as Asta, like many viewers, is taken aback by Harry’s admiration for the fictional alien character.

7. “I’ll Say One Thing About Whiskey: It’s Allowing Me To Make Smart, Rational Decisions.”

Season 1, Episode 1: “Pilot”

In the first installment of Resident Alien, character Harry finds himself in a predicament as he endeavors to adapt to his recent human transformation and mingle with the townsfolk. However, his efforts are thwarted when Max Hawthorne, the mayor’s young son, perceives through his ruse that Harry is an alien. Although the grown-ups don’t suspect Harry’s extraterrestrial nature, he frets that Max might expose his secret identity.

On my first day as the new town doctor, I took Harry to our local tavern, where he tried whiskey for the very first time. After a few rounds, an intoxicated Harry conceived a notion to visit Max’s residence and take his life. With a sense of self-satisfaction, Harry’s inner thoughts whispered, “I must admit, whiskey is helping me think clearly and make wise decisions.” Fortunately, Harry did not carry out his plan, but I suspect many can empathize with him in that moment.

6. “If These Humans Ever Saw Me Flying My Spaceship, I’d Have Women Beating Me Off With A Stick.”

Season 1, Episode 6: “Sexy Beast”

As a cinema enthusiast, let me share my take on the events from season 1 of “Resident Alien.” In this series, my character, Harry, experiences an unexpected visit from his long-lost wife, Isabelle. Initially, he manages to resist her allure, but eventually, the pull proves too strong and they embark on a romantic journey together. However, I’m well aware that this connection won’t last; it’s only a matter of time before she discovers my extraterrestrial identity. So, in an attempt to maintain some semblance of peace while fixing my spaceship, I start administering her certain substances to keep her unaware.

In the captivating scene from “Sexy Beast,” as I secluded myself in my cellar and tinkered with my spaceship, I found myself reminiscing aloud. With a hint of self-deprecation, I observed that there seems to be a peculiar attraction humans have towards men who are skilled mechanics. I couldn’t help but chuckle and think, “Ah, Sexy Beast. That’s me. If these humans ever witnessed me soaring through space in my spaceship, they’d likely go crazy, swarming around me like bees to honey.

5. “Allah Knows? How Many People Have You Told?”

Season 1, Episode 9: “Welcome Aliens”

In Patience, Colorado, it’s only nine-year-old Max Hawthorne who can see past Harry’s disguise as a human due to an unusual genetic trait. Despite multiple attempts, Harry can’t harm Max, leading to a standoff. Eventually, Max consents to keep the secret but shares it with his closest friend, Sahar.

In a particular moment of “Welcome Aliens,” Max heads to Harry’s residence to verify his wellbeing following their predicament on the mountain. It is then that Harry discloses he had no choice but to inform Asta about being an alien, which prompts Max to reprimand him. However, Harry swiftly justifies his actions, reminding Max of the time when he shared his own secret with Sahar. Nevertheless, Max maintains that Sahar can be relied upon, as she had sworn a solemn promise to God (Allah) to keep the secret. Being unfamiliar with human faiths, Harry exasperatedly asks, “God knows? How many people have you told?

4. “You Shouldn’t Ignore Ninjas.”

Season 1, Episode 5: “Love Language”

Being Asta Twelvetrees’s closest friend and confidante, Harry harbors a sense of guardianship towards her. Thus, when Asta invites her abusive ex, Jimmy, for lunch at Joe’s Diner, Harry chooses to be nearby, ensuring her safety. Harry’s disdain for Jimmy is evident, as he accompanies them both to the diner and takes a seat next to them. Later on, he deliberately turns his chair around and openly scrutinizes Jimmy, making the man feel deeply uneasy.

In a protective manner, Jimmy queries Asta if Harry is her new beau, a question they both refute promptly. He then quips sarcastically if Harry is Asta’s security detail, and Harry counters with a witty remark, “I’d rather be called a ‘ninja.'” Asta advises Jimmy to disregard Harry, and Harry concludes by saying, “One should never dismiss ninjas.” The line is undeniably amusing, but it also carries a wise message.

3. “Rigor Mortis. My Penis Is Dying!”

Season 1, Episode 4: “Birds Of A Feather”

One particularly amusing scene in “Resident Alien” unfolds in the episode titled “Birds of a Feather,” where Harry, an alien disguised as a human, experiences his initial human kiss. In need of encouragement, Harry invites D’Arcy to dine with the Hawthorne family. Given her affection for Harry, D’Arcy perceives this as a date and makes the decision to label it as such, which Harry unwittingly agrees to. Post-dinner, Harry offers D’Arcy a ride home, and she requests a kiss.

As a film enthusiast, let me share my take on rephrasing that scene:

In the movie, there’s a moment that leaves everyone in splits when Harry unintentionally plants a kiss on D’Arcy’s face, which she casually dismisses as not being the “least unpleasant” smooch she’s ever experienced. Once out of the vehicle, Harry can’t help but remark aloud about his body’s peculiar reaction to that kiss, expressing his bewilderment by saying, “Geez, rigor mortis is setting in, my manhood’s expiring!” Throughout the series, there are several instances where Harry shows a lack of understanding about human physiology, but this one might just be the most amusing.

2. “I Just Felt My Rear Iris Pucker And My Testicles Tighten. My Taint Remains Unchanged.”

Season 1, Episode 3: “Secrets”

Amongst Harry’s most impactful lines in the series “Resident Alien” is from season 1, episode 3, titled “Secrets.” As Harry attempts to assimilate into Patience’s community, he concurrently seeks out the mountain where his spaceship wrecked, aiming to recover all the scattered pieces before someone else manages to do so.

I’m not by myself up here, this isn’t good. Just now, I experienced a strange sensation – my back eye seems to be contracting and my testicles are becoming tense. However, the area below is unaffected.

On a single climb, Harry remains oblivious to the fact that D’Arcy and her associate, John, are intentionally triggering an avalanche to clear snow from the summit. As the avalanche hurtles towards him, Harry swiftly dodges it at the last moment. Regrettably, the torrent of snow obscures the progress he made in excavating parts of his spaceship. Upon noticing a helicopter passing above, he comes to the conclusion that there are others on the mountain. This revelation triggers Harry’s fear, and we catch a glimpse of his inner thoughts:

“Oh no, they’re up here too! I can’t let them find my spaceship!

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2025-06-02 03:19

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