‘Novocaine’ Review: A Painless Action Comedy

The individual who originated the expression “Life is pain” never encountered Nathan Caine, as he possesses an exceptionally rare genetic condition known as “congenital insensitivity to pain analgesia,” which renders him incapable of experiencing any form of pain. To a contemporary audience inundated with superhero films, this may seem like a superpower; however, for Nathan, it’s more a curse than a gift.

It’s crucial for individuals to experience pain because it serves as an essential warning system. Pain alerts us to potential hazards, such as moving our hand away from a fire before we suffer severe burns or seeking medical attention for illnesses and infections. Unfortunately, Nate doesn’t receive these warnings due to his extreme caution. To safeguard himself, he leads a life surrounded by protective barriers, refusing to eat solid foods out of fear of biting his tongue. He covers the tips of his pencils with putty, places tennis balls on every door handle and desk corner, and takes other precautions to prevent accidents. When not working as an assistant bank manager in San Diego, he spends most of his time at home avoiding danger, often immersed in multiplayer online role-playing games (MMORPGs) with his only companion — the voice from his headphones that he’s never physically met (Jacob Batalon).

In essence, if the movie “Novocaine” only showed Nate (Jack Quaid) confined to his house for 100 minutes, it wouldn’t be very engaging. As expected, in this action comedy, Nate changes his long-standing ‘no’ to a ‘yes’ towards a captivating and alluring bank teller named Sherry (Amber Midthunder). They share lunch together, and remarkably, he even consumes solid food. Before you know it, Nate starts doing things that are unlike him. He meets Sherry at a bar, takes her home, and then, when Sherry gets kidnapped during a bank robbery, he embarks on a mission to save her.

The question “Why doesn’t Nate let the authorities deal with it?” may not be suitable for discussion if you want to fully immerse yourself in the movie Novocaine. To savor the film’s strong points, such as intricately planned action sequences based on Nate’s unique condition, you must also tolerate its weaknesses, predominantly a storyline filled with unrealistic turns of events. If you can suspend your disbelief and accept that Jack Quaid doesn’t feel pain when hit by an arrow, it might be easier to believe that a bank robber would rig his home like in Home Alone for no apparent reason other than to create a terrifying ordeal for Nate. Essentially, if you’re willing to buy the ticket and take the ride, you’ll find enjoyment in the film.

The screenplay penned by Lars Jacobson alternates between scenes that are laughably absurd, such as the one mentioned, and those that are cleverly inventive – for instance, a sequence where one of the bank robbers captures Nate and inflicts pain on him for amusement. In this situation, Nate must convincingly act as if he’s in agony to prevent his tormentor from discovering that his ordeal is actually part of Nate’s rather unimpressive survival strategy. Despite the fact that it sometimes seems as though Jacobson and directors Dan Berk and Robert Olsen haven’t fully considered the intricacies of their plot, they have undeniably come up with every potential method to generate both laughter and body horror within this particular narrative scenario.

It’s beneficial that Jack Quaid plays an authentic, unassuming protagonist in this story. With his tall and gangly build, he convincingly portrays a character who seldom ventures beyond his home. Moreover, he effectively conveys Nate’s intense infatuation towards Sherry. Additionally, Quaid shares a palpable screen presence with Midthunder, although the narrative setup keeps them separated for much of the film.

In many instances, I find it challenging to comprehend or rationalize the actions taken by the characters in the movie “Novocaine.” Nevertheless, I chose to just accept these choices, much like a drowsy dental patient under heavy medication, because the film’s dark humor and unexpectedly graphic violence provided me with enough entertainment.

This film, titled “Novocaine”, aligns with the cinematic genre that delights in inflicting and observing creative pain upon a protagonist, much like films such as “Evil Dead II” and “Crank”. The viewers find a perverse satisfaction in witnessing the main character endure various forms of distress. However, compared to those movies, it’s not quite as impressive. Nevertheless, when judged independently, it offers an experience that is relatively pain-free and, at times, even enjoyable.

Additional Thoughts:

I pointed out the house that’s surprisingly equipped with deadly devices, reminiscent of Macaulay Culkin’s vacation home from those old movies. One of these traps features a heavy, spiked weapon similar to what you might find in medieval times. It’s quite peculiar – where on earth would one purchase a mace in the year 2025?

Fun fact: The character who famously said “Life is pain, Your Highness” in the movie ‘The Princess Bride’ was none other than the Dread Pirate Roberts. It’s important to remember that this memorable line was actually penned by screenwriter William Goldman.

RATING: 6/10

The Worst Action Movies Ever Made

Mad Dog Time (1996)

Can a shootout be considered an action scene when the participants are both relaxing behind desks while exchanging gunfire?

Skyscraper (1996)

The Ultimate Weapon (1998)

This film is an appalling masterpiece of rubbish, featuring muscle-bound Hulk Hogan in the role of a mercenary who provokes the wrong wealthy villain. Despite his long career of physically battling people in public, Hulk isn’t convincing as an action hero; he comes across as rigid and clumsy, often relying on the assistance of clearly visible stunt doubles. On the bright side, his acting skills are abysmal! Notable moments include a scene where Hulk locates his estranged daughter in a strip club, showing little reaction as she dances, and Hulk changing outfits not just once but twice during the climactic battle sequence. (“I need to save my fiancée, but first, these khaki slacks must go!”)

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997)

Based on Wikipedia, the budget for this “Mortal Kombat” sequel was nearly twice that of the original movie. Yet, one might wonder why it appears to be such poor quality. The special effects wouldn’t pass the test even for a Sega CD game cutscene. It seems to illustrate that money can’t always solve problems – or any issues in this disastrous sequel. The first “Kombat” may not have been Chaucer, but it was at least watchable. “Mortal Kombat: Annihilation” is so terrible you’d think it was purposely made to be awful as part of a complex plan to deceive investors and drain them of their funds, much like the scheme in “The Producers.

Battlefield Earth (2000)

Occasionally, a film arrives with such intense negative buzz that it fails to receive a fair assessment from both the public and critics. The movie “Battlefield Earth” is an example of this phenomenon; any negative coverage it received prior to its release was entirely justified. The film was a chaotic blend of poor makeup, weak acting, unattractive action sequences and special effects, and cringe-worthy dialogue. Attempting to read any line from the movie’s IMDb Quotes page with a straight face is nearly impossible! One of “Battlefield Earth”‘s credited screenwriters later expressed regret for it, stating that comparing it to a train wreck isn’t really fair to train wrecks because people actually want to watch those.

Bulletproof Monk (2003)

20 years ago, I watched a movie alone in the theater, everyone else having made a wise choice to avoid it. By the end, I was so bored that I moved around the auditorium, testing different seats for a better view of the screen. Unfortunately, no seat improved the film – it was still terrible.

Fast forward to today, and it appears that “Bulletproof Monk” has some of this century’s most lackluster Hollywood martial arts scenes. It seems Seann William Scott took on more stunts than Chow Yun-fat, which is troubling when the character Stifler outperforms your action stars.

I saw a movie 20 years ago that everyone else avoided because it was dull. Even changing seats didn’t make it any better. Today, “Bulletproof Monk” has some of the worst martial arts scenes in Hollywood this century, with Stifler doing more action than Chow Yun-fat!

Catwoman (2004)

As a film enthusiast, I’ve got to say that the film “Catwoman,” starring Halle Berry as Patience Phillips, is a rollercoaster ride of feline-inspired crime-fighting (or causing) antics. With her uncanny agility, impeccable landing skills, and undeniable basketball prowess, she embodies the essence of every famous cat. She’s got a knack for stealing jewels, a whip at her side, an affinity for leather, and a penchant for puns that would make any basketball fan groan. In short, she’s just like a real cat, only with more attitude.

Now, the director of “Catwoman,” Pitof, hails from a visual effects background, but some of the action sequences in this movie are so over-the-top that they border on the absurd. The editing is sloppy, and it’s evident that the same outfits were worn by the cast for two consecutive days, presumably due to last-minute decisions to rearrange scenes without reshooting.

The peculiar choices and glaring incompetence make “Catwoman” a must-watch for connoisseurs of bad movies. It’s like a catnip-infused treat for those who appreciate the amusingly strange and the grossly inept.

Alone in the Dark (2005)

The movie “Alone in the Dark,” directed by Uwe Boll, is infamously known as one of the worst adaptations of a video game. Tara Reid and Christian Slater star, with Reid playing an archaeologist and Slater as a detective dealing with supernatural events. However, the film’s plot is so convoluted that it makes little sense, even before considering the lengthy opening title crawl that only serves to confuse viewers further. Originally, the script was written for a more realistic detective story by Blair Erickson, but Boll discarded this version to add more action, special effects, and sex scenes. Interestingly, Erickson claimed that after he and his team left, Boll returned months later asking to use scenes from their original script for free!

In a nutshell: “Alone in the Dark,” directed by Uwe Boll, is infamous for being one of the worst video game adaptations. Despite Tara Reid and Christian Slater’s roles, the movie is confusing due to its complex plot, even before considering the lengthy opening title crawl. The original script, written for a more realistic detective story, was discarded by Boll in favor of added action, special effects, and sex scenes. Surprisingly, the original scriptwriter claimed that Boll asked to use their scenes for free after they left!

Elektra (2005)

In a remarkable twist of character, Elektra – the world’s most meticulous assassin – is so fastidious about her work that she meticulously cleans her floorboards frequently to eliminate any trace of her DNA. Yet, she exhibits a careless side by socializing with her inquisitive new neighbors during missions, failing to recognize that they are her current assignment. To add to the paradox, she demonstrates a level of intelligence that seems questionable at times.

The character’s death and resurrection in Daredevil have granted her the power to foresee the future and manipulate time when needed, effectively making her an immortal deity. It’s no surprise then, that she uses these divine abilities to repeatedly stab ninjas with a pair of sai. According to the film’s Wikipedia page, Garner reluctantly agreed to participate in the film due to contractual obligations from Daredevil.

In layman terms: Elektra is an assassin who cleans her floors obsessively but hangs out with neighbors during missions without realizing they are her targets. She has powers to predict the future and rewind time, which she uses to stab ninjas repeatedly. Garner didn’t want to do the film but agreed due to contractual obligations from Daredevil.

Dragonball: Evolution (2009)

The “winner” of the title for the most poorly rated action movie on Letterboxd is this live-action adaptation of the popular manga and anime series. In this film, Justin Chatwin played Goku, and the cast was primarily whitewashed. Moreover, it strayed significantly from its original source material. Eventually, the screenwriter publicly acknowledged his part in damaging a cherished franchise. (In 2016, Ben Ramsey stated, “To have something with my name on it as the writer be so globally criticized is heart-wrenching… I’ve learned that when you lack passion in a creative endeavor, you end up with unsatisfactory results, even sometimes resulting in trash. So I take full responsibility for Dragonball.”)

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009)

15 years following the initial release of “Street Fighter”, a semi-remake surfaced, characterized more by absence than presence. The movie lacked legendary figures and minimal street fighting (perfect for a Street Fighter film!). What it did include was Chris Klein delivering one of the worst performances in history as Charlie Nash. This character bore no semblance to the Street Fighter character named Nash, or any person who’s ever existed. He strutted, posed, squinted, sneered, making for an unforgettable spectacle. Truly, it was a performance to witness.

The Last Airbender (2010)

Instead of creating an impressive live-action adaptation of “Avatar: The Last Airbender,” a widely acclaimed animated series, a skilled director might have produced a sensational film series. However, M. Night Shyamalan proved to be an inappropriate choice for the project; his creative leanings are more toward intimate thrillers rather than the expansive, globetrotting storyline of the original Avatar. Shyamalan managed to compress this epic into 100 minutes that were awkwardly paced, with the majority of the screen time going to actors of white descent cast in roles originally depicted as Asian. (Shyamalan justified his casting decisions by claiming it was part of “the most culturally diverse tent-pole” Hollywood had ever produced.) Ironically, the film’s quality was so poor that it effectively marked the end of any further live-action Avatar productions due to its negative reception from fans and disappointing box office returns.

Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014)

In the film “Age of Extinction,” credit should be given for one thing: among all the “Transformers” movies, it is the longest. Strangely, it’s also the most inconsistent in terms of tone, the most confusing in its narrative structure, and the most chaotic in its editing. The story begins with the human protagonist (Mark Wahlberg, portraying a Texas-based scientist) who stumbles upon Optimus Prime inside a dilapidated and abandoned cinema. A character laments, “The movies these days! Sequels and remakes, just rubbish.” However, simply acknowledging that your action movie is poor quality does not make it acceptable.

Taken 3 (2014)

In my opinion, no one embodies rugged, hardened characters quite like Liam Neeson does. However, truth be told, as much as I admire him, the reality is that he’s reaching an advanced age. He’s already well into his seventies, and by the third installment of “Taken”, one could argue that he was beginning to show signs of wear and tear. The action sequences became somewhat confusing due to the excessive use of shots and cuts, suggesting that most of his stunts were performed by skilled stuntmen rather than Neeson himself. If you watch closely, you’ll notice just how many cuts are required to depict a simple jump over a fence, making it evident that the film’s editor possesses an extraordinary skill set.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

In the original live-action “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” film, the action remains surprisingly effective – considering that the actors executed their punches, kicks, and acrobatics within bulky prosthetic suits. Conversely, the action in the 2014 “Ninja Turtles” movie is surprisingly poor – given that it was produced using CGI and motion capture technology. Additionally, it seems like the movie’s portrayal of Splinter has an unusual resemblance to a character with a nose shaped like a penis.

China Salesman (2017)

In essence, the 2018 movie “China Salesman” features a fight between boxing icon Mike Tyson and action star Steven Seagal. However, it’s important to note that I have my doubts as to whether Tyson and Seagal actually shared screen space during this fight scene. If their stuntmen were compensated for this sequence, they certainly deserved a bonus. This epic confrontation culminates with Tyson emerging victorious – by ‘epic’, I mean it was like watching a shipwreck; the outcome is tragic and bizarre, with clear doubling and some strange dialogue deliveries.

Morbius (2022)

On April 1st, 2022, the movie Morbius was released, leaving many moviegoers feeling like they had been the victims of an elaborate April Fool’s Day joke. The final product barely resembled the trailers, with entire scenes and storylines seemingly omitted. It seemed as though during post-production, the entire film underwent a significant revision to ensure it was obvious that it did not belong in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Regrettably, that was one of the few things that were clear about Morbius, a vampire movie that appeared to have been pieced together haphazardly by Dr. Frankenstein, using dissimilar storylines and characters that didn’t quite fit together, only to be brought awkwardly and disjointedly to life.

Expend4bles (2023)

From the get-go, “The Expendables” series has been more about marketing appeal than delivering on its promise as a franchise. To be clear, the concept of legendary action stars uniting for one final hurrah is an excellent marketing strategy. However, when it comes to the films themselves, they’ve ranged from mediocre to downright poor, and this latest installment, “Expend4bles,” is the poorest yet. It barely fulfills its own premise; only Sylvester Stallone and Dolph Lundgren remain from the original action heroes in the team, and their roles are minimal at best. Apart from a brief skirmish between Jason Statham and Iko Uwais, this movie lacks the excitement of a typical action film. The special effects are subpar CGI, not only looking unimpressive but also failing to capture the right atmosphere for a movie that’s meant to be a tribute to the gritty action spectacles of the 80s. In fact, the title of these movies has never felt more fitting.

Red One (2024)

Star Trek: Section 31 (2025)

Discovery” as the absolute worst production under the “Star Trek” brand. Since I haven’t watched all “Star Trek” series, I can’t confirm that claim. However, it is undoubtedly the poorest “Star Trek” film or show I’ve ever encountered. It’s visually unappealing, the dialogue is poor, and the action is confusing. The most frustrating aspect is that it appears to believe that specific alien races, technology such as spaceships, phasers, tricorders, define “Star Trek,” when in fact, what sets this franchise apart (or did when it was at its best) were its optimistic ideas and intellectual exploration. Who would want to watch a “Star Trek” that’s as intellectually shallow as most other science fiction?

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2025-03-10 17:26