Netflix Documentary Sweet Bobby Explores How a Woman Got Catfished by Her Cousin

As a seasoned movie critic with a penchant for unraveling the intricacies of human emotions and narrative structures, I must say that “Sweet Bobby” is a poignant and powerful documentary that resonates deeply with my own experiences. Having been a victim of online deception myself, albeit not to the extent Kirat Assi’s harrowing tale, I can empathize with her pain, confusion, and determination to bring light to this insidious phenomenon known as catfishing.

A woman, who for eight years maintained an online romance with someone she later discovered was her female relative, is anticipating that her upcoming documentary, titled “Sweet Bobby,” set to release on October 16, will inspire others who have experienced catfishing to ask for assistance.

Kirat Assi transformed her multi-year deceptive relationship, which she thought involved a man named Bobby, into the movie “Sweet Bobby,” based on her popular 2021 podcast chronicling the experience. The film is constructed using snapshots of messages exchanged with Bobby and conversations with family members who observed her endure years of pain.

In the documentary, Assi states, “I’m not seeking pity, but rather I want individuals to acknowledge that this is unjust and take action to hold those responsible accountable.

A brief history of catfishing

Catfishing” generally means individuals construct false identities to deceive others into forming emotional bonds or starting romantic relationships over the internet. These deceivers conduct the entire interaction online and frequently invent reasons to postpone or evade face-to-face encounters with their targets.

Catfishing refers to a unique genre of films and television shows, which gained prominence from the 2010 documentary titled “Catfish” and the subsequent MTV reality series called “Catfish.” It’s worth noting that the origin of the term “catfishing” can sometimes be confusing.

As a supporter, I’d put it this way: Back in 2013, I was sadly part of a heartbreaking incident involving Manti Te’o, the star football player from Notre Dame. What many didn’t know was that my online persona, his supposed girlfriend, didn’t exist in reality. It wasn’t until much later, in the 2022 Netflix documentary titled “Untold: The Girlfriend Who Didn’t Exist,” that I revealed the truth behind the ruse I had been carrying out.

In the discredited 2014 article published by Rolling Stone, catfishing was implicated in a story detailing an alleged gang rape at a University of Virginia fraternity. The main accuser, who claimed to be the victim, had been catfishing a male student she was attracted to on campus, which cast doubt on her reliability as a source.

This week, another documentary titled “Fanatical: The Catfishing of Tegan and Sara” by Hulu is set to release on October 18. In this film, the indie rock duo candidly discuss an online imposter who misled fellow fans, claiming to have intimate knowledge about Tegan’s private life.

Falling for catfishing

In the year 2009, Assi got her initial communication from someone claiming to be “Bobby,” via a Facebook profile supposedly belonging to a doctor named Bobby Jandu, who was said to be practicing cardiology in both Kenya and the United Kingdom.

Assi is a woman of Punjabi-Sikh descent, born in Kenya to parents who were also born there. She’s deeply involved within the vibrant Kenyan South Asian community. At one point, she was employed in marketing and even hosted a radio show. Having recently emerged from a rollercoaster relationship, Assi was eager for marriage and starting a family. This longing made her particularly receptive to messages from someone named “Bobby.” Although they had never met, Assi knew of him due to the fact that her cousin dated his younger brother JJ in real life.

One day, she received a message from her cousin, Simran Bhogal, informing her that “Bobby” had been wounded in Kenya. He was reportedly under witness protection and transferred to a hospital in New York for recovery. Assi began receiving messages from a fresh Facebook account supposedly belonging to “Bobby,” and she was informed that the officials of witness protection allowed him to communicate with her. This “Bobby” account also linked her to other Facebook friends who regularly updated her on his health status.

In a unique setup, Assi would exchange voice memos with what she believed to be Bobby, who replied in text messages. She assumed this was due to Bobby having vocal cord damage. They occasionally spoke over the phone, hearing a faint whisper on the other end. In a documentary, Assi’s mother described Bobby’s voice as strange and squeaky, yet she expressed happiness for Kirat. The relationship evolved, leading to Bobby sending Assi vision boards depicting their future wedding and her engagement ring.

How the catfishing was discovered

As a dedicated cinephile, I found myself gradually succumbing to controlling tendencies exhibited by “Bobby.” I found it necessary to keep him informed each time I stepped away, even for basic necessities like going to the bathroom. Moreover, I felt compelled to send him selfies throughout the day. My beloved radio show was a casualty of this situation, as “Bobby” believed my interactions with guests were too flirtatious for his liking.

2018 saw “Bobby” inform Assi that he’d registered at a Kensington hotel. Excited, Assi hurried there, but the receptionist reported no guest with his name had checked in. She then contacted “Bobby,” who explained the hotel staff were instructed not to disclose such details and wasn’t prepared to meet Assi just yet.

As Assi became increasingly wary, she decided to employ a private detective in an attempt to find any English residence associated with “Bobby Jandu.” The investigator eventually provided her with an address in Brighton. Upon arrival, Assi was taken aback when the man she encountered resembled the Bobby she had been conversing with – this individual was alongside his wife, Sanj. When a call claiming to be from the known Bobby arrived on Assi’s phone, she displayed the screen for him, and the genuine Bobby was taken back to see his own image along with a phone number that wasn’t his.

Assi realized that Bobby Jandu, a stranger, was connected to her through her cousin Simran, who had dated Bobby’s younger brother. She phoned her cousin to share that she had met the real Bobby and he was denying any involvement, and Simran advised her to stay away from his house.

In the film, Assi mentions that Simran visited her residence at a later time but requested not to enter. When questioned about this, Simran admitted she had been pretending to be Bobby all along. This included fake Facebook profiles of his friends and family, and even phone calls were actually made by Simran. As Jandu reflects in the documentary, “How could she pull off being me for so long? And it was her cousin! It didn’t make any sense.

The documentary doesn’t have answers to why Simran catfished Assi. As Assi puts it, “I was targeted just for somebody’s entertainment.”

Assi saved approximately ten years’ worth of Skype chats, WhatsApp messages, and Facebook screenshots before they were erased in 2020. In a civil lawsuit against Simran, Assi was given monetary compensation and a private apology from her cousin in the year 2021. The authorities have not pressed any charges or initiated any legal proceedings against Simran. For the documentary, an actor portrays Simran’s likeness, and she declined to participate in an interview.

One motivation behind Assi’s decision to share her personal story through a podcast and documentary at age 44 was to bring attention to the absence of legal safeguards for those who have been victimized by catfishing.

In the documentary, Assi states, “My goal was to challenge the social prejudice and prevent victims from feeling blamed.” He also emphasizes the importance of comprehending why internet regulation is necessary.

2024-10-16 16:06

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