Millie Mackintosh reveals hangovers made her ‘suicidal’ and feels as though she wanted to ‘jump out of a window’ before quitting booze

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Millie Mackintosh has shared that before she stopped drinking, hangovers would sometimes leave her feeling incredibly low, even with thoughts of self-harm and wanting to escape at any cost.

Oh my god, I’ve been following her for ages, and it’s just so inspiring! She used to be on Made In Chelsea, you know, and she’s been so brave talking about how much she used to struggle with alcohol. She actually got sober in 2022, which I was SO proud of her for, and now she’s written a whole book, ‘Bad Drunk,’ about everything she went through. It’s amazing and so honest, I’ve read it like five times!

I was really touched by Millie’s honesty on the Made by Mammas podcast this week. She bravely opened up about a difficult time, sharing how alcohol used to negatively affect her mental wellbeing. It’s so important to talk about these things, and I applaud her for being so vulnerable and helping to break down the stigma around mental health.

Millie thinks she might be allergic to alcohol, as she consistently experienced extremely bad hangovers.

She described feeling intensely suicidal when she was hungover, to the point where she’d have thoughts like, ‘Should I end my life?’

She explained that she used to avoid drinking when it meant multiple nights in a row, especially after attending a friend’s bachelorette party. She’s very prone to hangovers, so back-to-back nights out were always a problem for her.

If I was already feeling hungover and then drank more alcohol the next day, it would essentially combine two days’ worth of hangover symptoms into one really bad experience.

‘I felt so low that I couldn’t join in with the hen activities the next day. 

I recall being in a really dark place while staying in that hotel, to the point where I seriously considered ending my life – I even thought about jumping out the window. It was that incredibly low.

As a lifestyle expert, I’ve seen how deeply intertwined our personal journeys can be. Recently, Millie bravely shared that during her struggles with alcohol, she was also privately grappling with questions about her sexuality. It takes incredible courage to be open about these things, and her honesty is really inspiring.

Millie recently shared on Caggie Dunlop’s podcast that she found it difficult to express her attraction to women as a teenager. She admitted she only felt comfortable enough to kiss girls when she’d been drinking.

Okay, so she finally confessed it – all that stuff about struggling to really connect with women started way back in boarding school. Apparently, she was bullied, and it totally messed her up. And get this – when she’d had a few drinks, she’d just…kiss girls! She said it drove her boyfriends crazy, but honestly, I get it. It’s like she’s just being her, and it’s amazing. It explains so much, you know? It’s a really vulnerable thing to share, and I’m totally fascinated by it.

Millie explained that when she was a teenager, she only felt comfortable kissing girls after drinking, but she didn’t feel confident doing it when she was sober.

Growing up, I was attracted to girls at school, but I didn’t realize or understand those feelings at the time. I’d develop crushes and feel really confused and awkward. I even remember being anxious during sleepovers, wondering if my friends might try to kiss me.

Millie explained to Caggie that therapy has helped her understand many of her difficulties. She shared that past bullying experiences have created intimacy issues with women, but also acknowledged a mutual attraction.

I’m married to a man, and while that doesn’t impact our relationship now, I realize now it contributed to my past struggles with alcohol. I didn’t understand a part of myself and was afraid to express it, so I turned to drinking. Once I started, I found it hard to stop, even when I was in a relationship.

She described telling her husband, Hugo Taylor, about her sexuality, and shared that he was wonderfully understanding and supportive.

Millie recently confessed she feels very different from her past self, sharing an old, casual photo from her younger, more carefree days on Instagram.

She stopped drinking over two years ago after realizing alcohol made her angry.

Millie first appeared on the show as one of its original cast members, and her initial storylines frequently focused on her social life, including partying and drinking. She’s since said that this caused conflicts with other cast members and negatively impacted her relationships.

Millie shared a post highlighting how much her life has improved since she stopped drinking, writing ‘Now vs. Then’ to show the positive changes.

Ten years ago, I was a very different person. I hardly recognize myself then – I was drinking a lot, constantly feeling unwell, and didn’t have a clear direction in life.

I was caught in a pattern of trying to numb my feelings, unaware that real improvement actually lay just beyond facing difficult emotions.

Deciding to stop drinking alcohol is the best thing I’ve ever done. It’s incredibly empowering to know I can choose not to participate, and it’s completely changed my life for the better.

I choose sobriety not out of obligation, but because I want to. It’s not something I’m giving up, but a positive thing I’m doing for myself, and I truly appreciate it.

Quitting alcohol has been the most life-changing experience of my life, and it’s incredibly encouraging to connect with others who are on the same journey.

Hearing from you about my book and what you’re going through means a lot and reinforces why these conversations matter. If you’re also on this path, please remember you’re not alone – we’re all in this together. I’d love to hear how you’re doing and what you’re experiencing. Let’s talk! ✨

Millie worked with a sobriety coach, and as a result, she’s been alcohol-free for over two years.

If this article has raised any concerns, please reach out for support. You can contact Alcohol Anonymous at 0800 917 7650 or help@aamail.org, or the Samaritans at 116 123 or jo@samaritans.org.

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2025-10-21 18:04