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Married At First Sight: ‘Goddess’ and ‘Warrior’ Clash in Cringeworthy Wedding Ceremony

BBG News

When a highly ambitious individual who calls herself a goddess encounters a contemporary hero with an unusual phobia limited to sharks and nothing else, it’s certain that some electrifying events will unfold.

On Sunday, the reality show Married At First Sight presented a new bride named Jacqui Burfoot. With an extensive background in yoga instruction, cheerleading, and corporate work, she expressed her belief that finding a suitable partner on her league is nearly impossible.

Here comes Ryan Donnelly, the versatile human, poised to rescue you from precipices, yet abstaining from shaving on his wedding day. A celestial pairing? We’ll find out.

Jacqui, longing for a man resembling her in height, success, and blondeness, couldn’t mask her dismay upon seeing Ryan with his dark hair and unkempt appearance.

Admittedly, I was hoping he had blond hair, but that’s not the case. This revelation has left me slightly disheartened, as I had built up an image of him in my mind based on that characteristic.

Regardless of Ryan’s impressive beginning, showcasing his skills in cliff rescues and courage (excluding shark encounters, those he still avoids), Jacqui was meticulously assessing him and pointing out potential flaws.

Is the man capable of replacing a faucet and moving heavy objects? Yet, could he possibly fulfill Jacqui’s somewhat elevated expectations for a man who would willingly offer his coat and plan impromptu getaways to the beautiful Hunter Valley?

Ryan’s vows were… well, let’s call them Pinterest-worthy.

He was clearly thrilled, almost overflowing with enthusiasm, as if he believed that this modest achievement could be the stepping stone towards a happy married life.

Jacqui, the connoisseur of compliments, wasn’t buying it.

She confessed honestly that it seemed overly practiced, which was met with a likely eyeroll from the producers, as she prepared for a dramatic moment on stage.

But Ryan wasn’t the only one bringing rehearsed energy. 

Jacqui’s vows read more like a corporate contract than a declaration of love.

She clearly stated her conditions for the future – needing a regular supply of flowers each month, unexpected holidays, and eventually acquiring a young Cocker Spaniel – demonstrating the skill of a skilled negotiator.

All of this while casually mentioning their inevitable death—lighthearted, right?

The highlight of the occasion arrived as the newlywed couple was expected to walk gracefully down the aisle, intertwining their hands.

Or,

The climax occurred when the just-married pair were meant to glide down the aisle, holding hands.

Or,

The best part took place as the freshly-wedded couple was intended to stroll down the aisle, hand in hand.

Ryan, who was thought to be a brave warrior, appeared to have lost his bravery, causing Jacqui to step up and guide them both onward.

If you aim for a man who takes you on an exciting journey, occasionally, you might need to guide him by the hand initially.

Married At First Sight continues Monday at 7.30pm on Channel Nine 

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2025-02-02 13:05

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