Making peace with Spock: Adam Nimoy on reconciling with his famous father

As I delve deeper into the captivating narrative woven by Adam Nimoy, I find myself profoundly moved by his poignant journey through life, love, and recovery. His account of his relationships, particularly with his father and Martha, resonates deeply with me as a fellow traveler on the winding path of human connections.

Despite losing his distinctive ears, Leonard Nimoy found it challenging to convey emotions. Being a deeply guarded and heavy drinker, Nimoy felt a stronger affinity for the character Spock in “Star Trek” than he did towards his beloved son Adam, as described by Adam in his latest memoir titled “The Most Human: A Personal Reconciliation with My Father, Leonard Nimoy.”

It took Leonard and then Adam, who had been smoking marijuana every day for thirty years, joining recovery programs and becoming sober before they could start to reconnect. However, Adam Nimoy has consistently honored his father and his accomplishments, even showcasing them in his 2016 documentary titled “For the Love of Spock.”

On Saturday, you’ll find Leonard Nimoy at the “Super 70mm Star Trek 60th Anniversary Series” held at the Fine Arts Theatre Beverly Hills. He will showcase his documentary and engage in a discussion about “Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn,” alongside its director, Nicholas Meyer. After this event, he is embarking on a tour to over 20 cities, where he plans to promote “The Most Human.” Notably, many stops on this tour will be at Jewish community centers and temples as there is a significant Jewish aspect to Leonard Nimoy’s life and their shared story, according to Adam Nimoy.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Are you looking forward to presenting your documentary again for an audience of avid fans?

In my journey, spreading the words of my book, I’m continually struck by the profound affection and dedication people still hold for Leonard. With so much material generated from “Star Trek,” my film is but a single page in this vast chronicle. It’s a tribute to my father, his incredible life journey – from a humble boy in Boston to a Hollywood breakthrough that would touch millions worldwide.

The title of the book primarily refers to your father, yet the content predominantly explores your recovery, your bond with your kids, and the blossoming love you experienced in your subsequent marriage with Martha. Can you elaborate on its development?

Initially, I intended to pen down thoughts on healing and my family dynamics, as I’ve previously penned about my father and discussed our relationship in a film. However, I felt it was perhaps time to explore different topics.

As a movie enthusiast, I’m often reminded by my kids that I should break free from the orbit of Leonard Nimoy and ‘Star Trek.’ Yet, it seems ironic that they frequently reach out to me, excitedly sharing tales about him and his enduring influence. A recent instance unfolded when my son was drumming in a club, and none other than Jeff Goldblum approached him to discuss his percussive skills. My son mentioned our family connection to ‘Invasion of the Body Snatchers,’ sparking a conversation about my grandfather. Meanwhile, my daughter, who works at Paramount, is constantly immersed in Leonard’s legacy, making it an integral part of her daily life.

Indeed, there were moments when I hesitated, but it was the towering issue that demanded attention. In my narrative about healing, bonding with my mother, ex-wife, and children, a colossal hurdle in my journey of self-discovery was: “Navigating my relationship with my father.”

For two decades, I’ve maintained sobriety. In 12-step gatherings, I discreetly – as they don’t recognize me as Leonard Nimoy’s son – recount my father’s story. It seems to strike a chord with attendees grappling with their own parental challenges. Often, they approach me afterwards, expressing newfound motivation to repair relationships. Although I tackled some aspects of our relationship in my initial book and documentary, I chose to delve far more deeply into it for this project.

Would I believe that this book could alter how people perceive my father’s role and their bond with Spock?

I remain deeply committed to my father and his character, always exercising great caution in portraying him. When I write about him, I afford him significant leniency due to the impact of his own parents and their influence. The Ukrainian refugees who arrived in America knowing little about it, I extend similar understanding to my dad because he was struggling to survive when he came here. He lacked a support system when he moved to L.A., making survival his primary concern. As a result, he neglected our family at times. However, I am consistently proud of what he achieved and aim to provide a more nuanced perspective on this complex individual.

1. Despite his imperfections and weaknesses, delving deeper into understanding him could help people feel more compassion for his experiences. Writing this book made me feel a greater sense of empathy towards my father due to the incredible challenges he faced and overcame.

Instead of being constructed like my father, I’m uniquely shaped. When it came to balancing family and career, family held a greater significance for me, even during my professional journey. Yet, the idea of self-made success never consumed me in an urgent or desperate manner. This allowed me to articulate clearly that “I strive for success, but my family is equally valuable to me.”

My mom played a crucial role in my financial journey as she provided me with both emotional and financial support. She’s truly the unacknowledged hero in this story, demonstrating love, sensitivity, and support when my dad fell short in these areas.

The concept originates from the fact that when I turned ten, “Star Trek” premiered; meanwhile, when my father was ten, he was peddling newspapers on Boston Common during the harsh winter.

In your work on the book, you’ve discussed the intricate bond between him and William Shatner that shifted from strained to incredibly intimate, only to disintegrate once more. Was it during this process that you inquired about this matter with Shatner himself?

I know Shatner’s perspective, Bill loves Leonard, period, And I love Leonard. But loving Leonard is very complicated. And Bill has his own foibles.

I’ve been thoroughly informed about the entire history due to my father’s habit of sharing extensive details whenever the topic arose; he essentially filled me in on everything, including secrets hidden in the past. Despite numerous obstacles and disagreements, it’s astonishing that they managed to maintain a loving bond for several years – something worth cherishing and emphasizing.

In truth, as soon as the camera started rolling, those two were simply outstanding as a team. They are undeniably one of the most exceptional duos in the annals of pop culture, full stop.

In simpler terms, my father found it challenging to collaborate with Jeff Hunter (the actor who portrayed Captain Pike in the 1964 “Star Trek” TV pilot) since Jeff was more of an introspective performer. However, my dad compared Bill Shatner (who played Captain Kirk) to Douglas Fairbanks, as he exuded charm and zest for life, making it easier for my father to concentrate on developing his character internally. Essentially, without Bill Shatner as Kirk, there would be no Spock.

In a more conversational style, the question could be rephrased as: “Your book expresses your profound affection for Martha, your second wife who passed away in 2012. Interestingly, there’s no mention of your subsequent brief marriage to Terry Farrell, known for her role as Jadzia Dax on ‘Deep Space Nine’. Can you share why this is the case?”

It turned out that it wasn’t necessary for me to visit, as things didn’t go as planned. I felt it was best to give Terry and our shared memories some space at this time.

In a more relaxed and conversational style, here’s how I would rephrase that question:

The city significantly influences one’s character, and this influence is unavoidable. My father, who was raised amidst the bustling streets of Boston, was sculpted into a resilient and tenacious individual who refused to back down and was destined to succeed against all odds. This aspect of my father’s personality poses a challenge for me, as Los Angeles offers an entirely different atmosphere – one that is more relaxed and surrounded by the sunny beaches of Southern California.

As I delved into this book, a profound realization hit me: many of the lessons it imparts are ones we all ought to have learned from an early age. The idea that “I am responsible for my second thought and first action” resonated with me deeply, as it encourages us to curb our initial defensive responses. Another invaluable tool presented was the acronym “WAIT,” which stands for “Why Am I Talking?” This simple reminder helps us pause and reflect before we speak, fostering mindfulness and promoting healthier communication.

You don’t have to be an addict or alcoholic to be in recovery — everybody’s recovering from something and these are just tools to deal with life on life’s terms. This is a big part of my emotional recovery. There are a lot of mantras that come down to, “When somebody pushes your buttons, don’t say a thing and let your mind wind down after it’s spun out of control.”

Originally, you felt resentful towards your father because he didn’t apologize or make things right with you during his recovery. However, when you embarked on your own recovery process and made amends with him, your relationship significantly improved. Do you sometimes find yourself wishing that he could have done the same for you?

Men from his generation probably won’t reflect and apologize for their past actions, as it would be too emotionally taxing. They seem unable or unwilling to examine their mistakes deeply, for fear of the pain it might cause. Once I stopped trying to convince my father that he was wrong, our relationship improved significantly.

And he really showed up for me when Martha was sick. What more can you ask for?

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2024-08-28 23:02