Liam Payne’s sister Ruth says his ‘cruel’ death will ‘never make sense’ in heartbreaking tribute on the one year anniversary of his tragic death

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On Thursday, Liam Payne’s sister, Ruth, posted a touching message on Instagram remembering him on the one-year anniversary of his passing.

The singer tragically passed away at the age of 31 in October 2024 after a fall from a hotel balcony in Argentina. Tests later showed he had alcohol, cocaine, and an antidepressant in his system at the time of his death.

Following her brother’s death, Ruth had been sharing memories of him, but on the anniversary of his passing, she openly expressed her deep sadness.

Ruth shared a heartwarming family photo and a picture of her son Liam dressed as a pirate. She admitted she’s been overwhelmed with grief, saying life can be incredibly unfair.

No matter how I count it – a year, twelve months, fifty-two weeks, or three hundred and sixty-five days – it all comes down to the same painful reality: you’re gone.

I used to be sad when you’d leave on tour, knowing you’d eventually return. But now, it feels impossible to reconnect – we can’t meet anywhere, and even a simple call or text is out of reach. It’s a constant longing for the past, because things will never be the same.

I truly didn’t understand how overwhelming grief could be, and now I’m completely paralyzed by it every day. I’ve experienced sadness before, but this is different. Previous losses were painful, but you… you were my life. I’ll miss you at every moment, for the rest of my life.

I always assumed my little brother would be a constant presence in my life. It’s a harsh reality to realize in my thirties that siblings aren’t always a lifelong certainty, and I have to navigate life without him.

Ruth shared that she still can’t understand Liam’s death and continues to have the same recurring nightmare about the moments leading up to it in the hotel room.

She confessed that no matter how hard she tried to understand his death, or how she looked at it, it would always remain senseless. He simply shouldn’t have died.

I keep having this terrible dream where I’m in your hotel room right before everything happened. I’m desperately trying to warn you, but you can’t hear me. I’m haunted by those final, lost moments of your life – the time we don’t know what happened, the time I’ll never understand, the moments that completely changed everything.

After a year without seeing Liam Payne, Ruth noted that his son Bear, who he shares with Cheryl Tweedy, has grown and changed a lot.

Oh my gosh, it’s been a whole year and so much has changed! She told me everything, and honestly, the kids are practically different people now! But the best part? She said *you* would be absolutely blown away by how amazing your son has become. I’m seriously bursting with excitement just thinking about it – he’s incredible!

I feel like I’ve developed a better sense of humor – you’re probably wondering how! – and some of my jokes actually make me laugh, knowing you would have reacted strongly. I’ve seen some amazing places, but everywhere I go just reminds me of how much I miss you, no matter how beautiful the scenery.

I often find myself wondering how you’d react to things that have happened – what you’d think, or how you’d expect me to handle them. I picture you saying things like ‘Liam would really enjoy this’ or ‘Liam would be furious!’ But those thoughts always end with the sad realization that you’re not here.

I deeply regret not being able to fulfill my promises to you, and I’ll always be haunted by how much I failed to do as you wished.

Looking back, we were so young and unaware when we first started discussing these complex issues. It’s shocking to realize how much of the legal system revolves around death and inheritance, and how many archaic laws are still on the books – laws I certainly didn’t know existed! It’s rarely straightforward, and honestly, who expects to be dealing with this in their early thirties? Each new discovery just adds to the heartbreak, especially when it feels like I’m letting someone down.

Ruth wished she’d had a chance to say a proper goodbye to Liam, imagining a final moment with him at home in the garden.

She shared a thought experiment she’d seen on TikTok: if you could spend five more minutes with someone you deeply miss, what would you do with that time?

I’ve been imagining a final goodbye, just five minutes long, at your place. I’d want to be inside before you arrive, so I could hear your footsteps and feel happy when you walked in – I always notice the way you carry your shoulders.

After that, I’d suggest we take a walk around your garden. That’s where we always had the best conversations, sharing our plans and talking about anything that was on our minds.

We used to pause and listen to the birds, and you’d always identify a woodpecker, even though I didn’t know anything about birds. I’d try to make you laugh, and you always did, with a playful, sparkling look in your eyes.

We’d always walk around to my car, and you’d playfully say, ‘My father drives a Jaguar’ – a joke I haven’t heard since you left. We’d share a warm, comforting hug – the only one that truly calmed me. I’d tell you how incredibly proud I was, not just of your career, but of the person you were. We’d end with ‘love you, mate,’ and as I drove off, I’d look in my rearview mirror to see you still waving.

She continued, saying that if anyone had asked her on October 17th, 2024, while she was looking at the devastating remains, whether they would all survive, she would have said there was no hope. She felt their family’s life was completely over and beyond repair, even at that moment.

I once told you, when I used to pester you about answering your phone, that my grief felt like the Weasley’s clock from Harry Potter. That clock constantly checked on everyone in the family before it could stop. Because you were traveling so much, I really needed to know you were safe before I could feel at peace.

Something feels terribly wrong – a number is missing from the clock, and it’s like everything has fallen out of order. It’s unsettling, and I worry that no one is truly safe.

Ruth shared that she’s still having a hard time recovering emotionally after the tragic loss of her friend.

She wrote about how his death, while a single event, continues to affect her daily. Every morning, she feels his absence. She finds herself searching for him in everything – looking closely at robins, hoping butterflies will land on her, and saying goodnight to the stars, all in the hope that somehow, a part of him remains.

No matter where you are, I hope you can hear me. I hope you’re watching over me, and please know that my love for you will always be endless.

‘I hope I get the chance to be your sister in every lifetime.

For the past year, I’ve been forced to watch others talk about Liam and his death, often unexpectedly. It’s been incredibly painful to see triggering interviews and comments without any prior notice, especially as I’m trying to rebuild my life, which now feels permanently altered by grief.

I’m still reeling from a huge loss and struggling to get back on my feet. Every time I feel like I’m making progress in understanding why Liam isn’t here to support me, something happens to set me back. It feels like I’m constantly starting over.

Ruth ended the moving tribute by emphasizing that beyond his fame, Liam was first and foremost a loving parent, son, and brother.

It’s frustrating that people seem focused on the public spectacle of this, and even more upsetting that some are trying to gain attention from it. Beyond all the publicity, it’s important to remember the real human cost: a son who’s lost his father, parents grieving their child, and a sibling, like myself, who is heartbroken.

‘Love always Liam, in every lifetime.’

Recently, it was announced how much money Liam’s family and friends collected for children with cancer after he passed away – and the amount is substantial.

Liam’s family, deeply saddened by his passing, requested that attendees of his funeral make donations to support children battling cancer instead of sending flowers.

Nearly £250,000 has been raised for Great Ormond Street Children’s Hospital, it’s now been announced.

The money raised will be used to support a team dedicated to groundbreaking research, the latest medical treatments, and specialized patient care.

A spokesperson said: ‘We’re so touched by the generosity shown towards Gosh in Liam’s memory.’ 

They told The Sun that every donation is bringing them closer to building a state-of-the-art children’s cancer center. This center will offer hope and improve treatment, ultimately saving more young lives.

‘It’s a lasting legacy that will make a difference for generations.’ 

Honestly, even at Liam’s funeral, it was all about his legacy. The program said they were collecting donations to build a new cancer unit right there at the hospital – like that’s what *he* would have wanted, to be remembered by a building! It just…it felt a little strange, even then. I mean, it’s good, of course, but it wasn’t about *him*, it was about the hospital benefitting. I just kept thinking about his smile, and then they announced *that*. It’s stuck with me ever since.

We’re grateful for your donation to Great Ormond Street Hospital Charity, made in loving memory of Liam Payne.

Please donate today to help continue Liam’s memory by supporting the creation of a new Children’s Cancer Centre at Great Ormond Street Hospital.

This amazing new building is designed to help children with serious illnesses live happier, more complete, and longer lives.

As a lifestyle expert, I’ve been following the outpouring of love for Liam, and it’s so touching to see how people are remembering him. His girlfriend, Kate Cassidy, shared a beautiful tribute to him on Instagram yesterday, and it really highlighted their special connection.

Kate shared a sweet black and white picture of the pair in bed with Liam kissing her cheek. 

Kate shared another photo to her Stories, showing her hugging Liam while they enjoyed a cozy, snowy winter getaway.

It’s been a year since Liam passed away, and she’s still heartbroken. She says she’ll never get used to saying goodbye and misses him terribly.

Meanwhile Harry Styles’ mother Anne Twist was among the fan tributes shared on Thursday. 

Liam’s bandmate’s mother shared a heartfelt message of her own, reposting the tribute from the All On The Board Instagram account along with a longer statement.

Wishing you a peaceful and safe afterlife, filled with love from those who knew you here on Earth.

The message was signed with love from your family, friends, One Direction, the Directioners, and especially to your son, Bear.

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2025-10-17 00:37