John Barrowman reveals he contemplated suicide after accusations of flashing on the Doctor Who set ruined his TV career: ‘I was trying to do things to harm myself’

John Barrowman reveals he contemplated suicide after accusations of flashing on the Doctor Who set ruined his TV career: 'I was trying to do things to harm myself'

As a devoted fan of John Barrowman for years, it’s heart-wrenching to see him going through such a difficult time. The man who brought Captain Jack Harkness and Malcolm Merlyn to life has been battling not only external forces but also his own inner demons. It’s tragic that the accusations he faced have led him to contemplate taking his own life, and it’s a testament to his resilience that he’s still standing today.


John Barrowman openly shared that he contemplated suicide following allegations of inappropriate behavior, such as exposing himself, on the sets of Doctor Who.

In 2021, when accusations surfaced, the 57-year-old actor found both his personal life and television career abruptly halted, leaving him feeling like everything around him had collapsed.

In simpler terms, John, preparing for his return to the screen through the new season of Celebrity SAS, openly shared that he faced a profound depression, reaching a point where he seriously considered taking his own life.

John shared with The Mirror that he often contemplated self-harm, considering different actions that could lead to harming himself. On occasion, he even deliberated on the methods he might use to take his own life. However, he explained, he was unable to carry out these thoughts due to his deep love and commitment to his family and friends.

In May 2021, John offered a public apology following allegations that surfaced about him exposing himself to cast members during filming for the TV shows “Doctor Who” and its spin-off “Torchwood”, where he started portraying Captain Jack Harkness in 2005, with “Torchwood” following a year later.

John Barrowman reveals he contemplated suicide after accusations of flashing on the Doctor Who set ruined his TV career: 'I was trying to do things to harm myself'

John Barrowman reveals he contemplated suicide after accusations of flashing on the Doctor Who set ruined his TV career: 'I was trying to do things to harm myself'

The performer referred to his past behaviors as “mischievous antics” that he wouldn’t repeat today, but countered critics whom he believed were trying to misrepresent those actions as instances of “inappropriate behavior.

Later on, he was removed from Dancing On Ice due to pressure from individuals like the Conservative MP Alec Shelbrooke, who argued that keeping him on the program, which is family-oriented, might seem like approving of his previous actions.

Despite being sacked from Dancing On Ice, John controversially still appeared on All Star Musicals, another ITV show. He was also forced to cancel his Centre Stage tour due to poor ticket sales.  

He said: ‘Something that was a stupid prank that was done amongst cast members and who the cast members never complained, never said anything about, but a narrative was created that apparently I was going around and throwing my c**k on people’s shoulders, which was not true.

‘Instead of serious matters, there were playful jokes within our team which brought laughter and joy. However, these harmless antics led to me facing public reprimand and embarrassment. Essentially, I was being criticized and excluded from certain circles as a result.’

John expressed deep sadness at being labeled as a sexual harasser, firmly stating that he has no intention of causing harm to any person, whether they are women, men, or individuals identifying as transgender.

John Barrowman reveals he contemplated suicide after accusations of flashing on the Doctor Who set ruined his TV career: 'I was trying to do things to harm myself'
John Barrowman reveals he contemplated suicide after accusations of flashing on the Doctor Who set ruined his TV career: 'I was trying to do things to harm myself'

As a lifestyle advisor, I’d say, “I was excited to take on the challenge of Celebrity SAS, but I soon realized that the intense training regimen was more than I could handle in a single day. So, I made the difficult decision to step away from the show.

Following earlier accounts, it was due to his disdain for the lodging options presented that John opted to leave, having been verbally confronted by SAS personnel.

As a lifestyle guide, I’d rephrase it like this: “He asserted that the DS would hurl phrases at me such as, ‘You’re insignificant, you don’t grasp your identity, and you can’t pull this off; you’ll uncover many aspects of yourself.’ Throughout this journey, I found myself repeatedly reflecting, ‘I am well-acquainted with my true self.’

John admitted he expects backlash due to his extremely short stint on the show. 

As a committed supporter, I express my intention to share my perspective, to funnel my rage into grueling physical trials, aiming to demonstrate the destructive impact the accusations have had on my psychological well-being for the audience.

The actor, wedded to Scott Gill, mentioned that the pace of job offers coming his way would likely decrease significantly compared to before, and he intends to embark on a tour instead.

John previously spoke about the accusations on Lorraine. 

When asked by the host if he believed his actions stepped over a boundary in the current context, John conceded that such behavior might be deemed inappropriate today. However, he swiftly countered by suggesting that others were exaggerating his actions and labeling them as ‘sexual harassment’.

He said: ‘I believe that under current circumstances, it would overstep boundaries. I also feel that an incident from 15 years ago could be seen as inappropriate or childish, but it occurred within the bounds of our work environment, where we functioned like a close-knit family.’

What I’m saying is that these narratives are ones I’ve shared before, repeatedly over the years. I’ve never concealed anything; instead, they might have been embellished, and attempts have been made to distort them into allegations of sexual misconduct, which is categorically untrue.

Starting September 22nd, each Sunday and Monday night at 9pm, you’ll find the sixth series of Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins on Channel 4.

For help, call Samaritans for free on 116 123 or visit samaritans.org 

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2024-09-19 03:35

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