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Jamelia Rejects Hypersexual Image to Protect Daughters and Young Fans

BBG News

Jamelia shared that her daughter played a significant role in her transitioning away from provocative clothing and music videos, as she became conscious of not inadvertently encouraging young girls to adopt a sexualized image.

44-year-old R&B artist reminisced about her management urging her to take on a more sexually provocative image, which they believed was typical and expected for black women in the R&B music world.

During her appearance on the We Need To Talk podcast with Paul C Brunson, she recounted that she experienced a form of subtle coercion to behave in a more suggestive manner, which included dressing in sexier attire, when she was approximately 22 years old.

Currently a mother of four girls, Jamelia shared an insight about how watching her second daughter, Tiani (now 19), mimic her music video dance routines at just four years old made her understand that she didn’t wish to encourage her youthful admirers to imitate her sexually suggestive style.

She shared her thoughts: “It’s a common belief that for singers specializing in R&B and being a black woman, one must adopt a highly sexualized image. However, I fiercely opposed this notion. Initially, I did conform to it, enjoying the spotlight, but later on, I resisted.

In the early stages of my career, I often wore sneakers and loose-fitting pants, similar to Aaliyah’s style – that was my preferred look.

At that young age, around 22 or 23, the MOBO award winner confessed that she found it astonishing to be regarded as attractive initially, expressing: ‘It felt something like, “Wow, really? Me?”‘

In simpler terms, I wholeheartedly embraced it, and when the idea of even shorter skirts came up, I couldn’t help but feel exhilarated, as if I were both a participant and the star on a popular music show, with my entire persona being spotlighted.

As a lifestyle expert, I’d put it this way: “For me, the pivotal moment came when I became a mother. When my daughters were infants, their needs consumed my attention, but when my eldest turned four in 2005 and began imitating my actions and my music videos, it struck me like a bolt of clarity – no more. It was then that I decided to make conscious choices to set an example for them.

Additionally, it wasn’t merely due to her being my child; instead, she was like every other girl out there. I recall entering the situation and expressing my desire to cease such influence, as I no longer wanted to guide girls into becoming sexualized.

Even though my child is only four, there are many other kids the same age and young girls who adore me. It seems unusual that I would market something to them.”

This version maintains the original sentiment but uses more natural language and avoids jargon like ‘selling this to them’.

Then it seemed as though being an R&B singer meant doing this particular style, and I found myself thinking, “But no, not for me.

In the year 2001, songwriter and TV host Jamelia welcomed her first child, daughter Teja (aged 23 at the time), with her former partner Terry Wallen.

Afterward, she got married to Darren Byfield, who became the father of her daughter Tiani (born in 2005 and currently 19 years old). However, the marriage ended in divorce in the year 2009.

She warmly received her two youngest daughters, True, aged seven, and Jream, who is two years old, along with her third spouse (whose name she’s kept private). However, during her pregnancy in 2022, he decided to leave her.

As a devoted follower, I’ve shared before that my kids have been the driving force behind my decision to refresh my style and appearance.

In 2017, Jamelia shared with TopMob that she prefers to show less makeup on red carpets and wears her natural hair, as she strives to be a positive influence for her daughters by setting an authentic example.

In her younger years, she used to dress in a bold manner, considering it as an expression of attractiveness.

At the Pride of Britain Awards, I wore my hair straight and donned a short, vibrant blue dress that revealed both my legs and chest. However, despite presenting myself in an ostentatious manner, I concealed the true essence of who I am.

Currently, I feel more at ease expressing who I truly am. Over time, I’ve come to believe that attractiveness lies in keeping a certain mystery or allure, rather than revealing everything openly.

‘The fact that I have two daughters significantly impacts me. My oldest daughter turns 16 this month, and I’m acutely aware of her self-presentation. I strive to be the most exemplary figure for her as possible.’

She continued by saying, “I’m deeply fond of my hair. Previously, I would undergo ‘straightening’ procedures, but in April 2015, I made a big change called the ‘big chop’, where I chopped off my chemically straightened locks to embrace my natural texture.

It’s primarily due to my oldest child, Teja. At the age of 13, she expressed: “In just three more years, I will be able to style my hair straight.

In other words, I exclaimed: “No! What makes you think of doing such a thing?” To which she responded with the belief that, as a woman, one must maintain straight hair instead of embracing their natural Afro hairstyle.

In response to being asked to identify a popular figure with naturally curly Afro hair, I found myself at a loss, an instance that left me feeling rather awkward given my frequent appearances on the show Loose Women, three times weekly at the time.

‘I made an immediate decision I was going to be the one to make the change, so others can follow.’

In another part of their discussion, Jamelia opened up to Paul, revealing that her own upbringing significantly influenced the way she raises her daughters.

As a devoted admirer, I’ll share a poignant truth from my past: One of the most regrettable aspects of my upbringing was the fact that I was an observer of others being cherished, yet I never truly experienced what it feels like to be loved in return.

‘I just want to know what like it feels to be like unconditionally loved by your parents’.

Speaking about her experiences, she mentioned that becoming a parent served as a catalyst for her personal rejuvenation.

I strive to provide my kids with emotional support that I lacked in my own upbringing. Not only do I offer them material possessions, but I also make sure they receive heartfelt apologies, clear explanations, and even see me express my emotions through crying.

‘One thing my girls will never do is doubt whether or not they’re loved’.

Jamelia expressed that even though she achieved great success in her music career and accumulated wealth, ‘it doesn’t guarantee happiness’. Instead, she now perceives success as ‘securing my own well-being and that of my children’.

The nine-time BRIT Award nominee admitted: ‘I don’t think I’ve ever felt successful until now.’

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2025-02-25 13:20

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