Hugh Bonneville reveals the devastating moment he learned his secret spy mum had died – and why he couldn’t grieve for years

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Hugh Bonneville shared the sad story of learning about his mother’s death while he was traveling far from home. He described it as a deeply upsetting experience, as his mother had lived a secret life as a spy.

Actor Hugh Bonneville, age 62, has recently revealed how he learned of his mother Patricia’s death. She had worked for the British intelligence agency MI6. He received the news while on vacation in the Maldives at Christmas in 2014, and this is the first time he’s spoken publicly about it.

Hugh shared on the Travel Secrets podcast that he woke up to two missed calls from his brother and immediately feared the worst, thinking his father had passed away. He called his brother back only to learn it was their mother who had died.

That was a truly unforgettable moment, one of those events you always remember exactly where you were when it happened, much like people recall when JFK was shot.

The actor explained the shocking feeling he had when he first thought his father had died, only to discover it was actually his mother.

He explained that the days following the loss were filled with practical arrangements for returning home. The journey itself felt significant, as simply getting back felt like the only thing he could do when facing such grief.

Thinking about family after a loss brings up a lot of memories, and you start considering everything that’s happened and what still needs to be done.

Oh, it just breaks my heart thinking about it. Hugh’s mum, Patricia – can you believe she worked for MI6?! He didn’t even find that out until later! She passed away at 85, and honestly, it was the start of a really tough time for him. It just kicked off this awful period of loss that really, really affected him. I mean, you could see it in everything he did after that. It was devastating.

Two years after that, his brother Nigel passed away suddenly in his sleep. Their father, John, who was a surgeon, died in 2020 at the age of 93.

After losing his parents and siblings within five years, Hugh developed a grim expertise in dealing with death, as he put it.

He admitted that everyone avoids dealing with loss. He explained he became skilled at handling the practical tasks after someone died – all the things that need to be done. Because of this focus on tasks, he realized people often postpone allowing themselves to truly grieve.

Hugh Grant, famous for films like Paddington and Notting Hill, recently spoke about the sadness of losing both of his parents. He explained that becoming an orphan is a deeply impactful experience, marking a major change in one’s life.

The actor shared a touching detail: after their mother passed away, his sister Clare and brother Nigel spent time reading all the supportive letters they received. He, however, was so focused on handling everything that needed to be done, he didn’t have the emotional space to read them himself.

Hugh admitted he remembered receiving hundreds of letters about his mother, but he hadn’t actually read them.

My brother and sister took care of things while I was overwhelmed with paperwork – things like death certificates and just a lot of other tasks. I ended up putting everything in a plastic bag.

Hugh didn’t begin to fully process his grief until three years had passed, while he was working on the film Viceroy’s House with director Gurinder Chadha in Jodhpur, India.

The actor, who starred as Lord Mountbatten alongside Gillian Anderson as his wife, Lady Edwina Mountbatten, brought the unread letters with him to a quiet desert hotel named Mihir Garh, located roughly an hour southwest of Jodhpur.

He remembered deciding it was time to be alone with his thoughts. He planned to read all his old letters, hoping it would be a deeply emotional and releasing experience – and it was.

It was a beautiful experience, and it struck me just how many lives my mother had touched, and how diverse those people were.

The actor said the secluded hotel, with only around 20 or 30 rooms, felt like a peaceful escape where he could finally deal with his sadness on his own.

Hugh shared that he had a really good cry and finally released his emotions. He described grief as something that comes and goes in waves, noting that even a happy memory can unexpectedly bring it back.

‘And then the next time that same memory occurs to you, you can be in a veil of tears.’

Hugh, a father to 21-year-old Felix with his former wife, Lucinda Williams, recently shared an interesting story about his mother. He discovered a hidden part of her working life years after she had already started her career.

She worked there for a long time, probably around ten years. Then, years after she and my dad both retired, I saw an article in the newspaper announcing the sale of the MI6 building. That’s when it hit me – that was where my mum used to work.

After this discovery, he received an invitation to speak at MI6 headquarters, Riverhouse. There, he encountered an individual who had known his mother.

A former coworker recalled her time leading the P-section, explaining that less experienced employees would quickly pretend to be working whenever they heard her approaching, recognizable by her footsteps.

Hugh remembered how they’d spend time doing crosswords, and then they’d hear Pat’s footsteps approaching. They’d immediately say, “Here comes Pat!” and start working, he explained.

The way he talked about the footsteps brought my mum to mind, and I realized we shared a connection through that sound – it was incredibly moving.

He went on to explain that at the funeral, he asked his father if their mother had ever mentioned anything about it. His father said she hadn’t, not once. Then, his sister told him that there were some people from MI6 present at the service.

She told me two of her acquaintances lived nearby in the same valley as her parents. I was surprised and asked if she was joking. She confirmed it, pointing out one lived over there and another over there. I asked if one of them was Derek, and then said he was incredibly dull. She just replied, ‘Well, yeah, obviously.’

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2025-12-16 13:51