How Erin Foster’s real-life romance inspired ‘Nobody Wants This’
As I delve into the captivating narrative of Erin Foster and her remarkable journey, I find myself utterly enchanted by this dynamic powerhouse. Her life story is a testament to resilience, creativity, and love – love that transcends boundaries and defies expectations.
Initially, she didn’t notice any obvious warning signs when she browsed through his Instagram account for the first time. There were no pictures of him on a private jet, no videos displaying champagne bottle services with sparklers, and no selfies taken in front of mirrors without shirts.
As Erin Foster scrolled through the account of the man from her gym, she discovered it was surprisingly heartwarming. Photos showed him with his family or participating in a neighborhood basketball team.
From the photographic evidence, she arrived at two plausible assumptions: Maybe he was simply too charming for her, or perhaps he was excessively thoughtful – the type who’d go out of his way to make her happy, which might eventually lead her to feel uncomfortable or put off.
Turns out, her guesses about Simon Tikhman were off the mark, which was fortunate. However, Foster’s initial exploration into her new crush on social media failed to reveal an essential aspect of his background: He was Jewish. This detail didn’t phase her, but what did matter to him was that she was not Jewish.
For the first time they spent time together back in 2018, during a conversation over drinks after working out at the gym, Tikhman casually commented, “So L.A.”, they both agreed with a shared sigh and eye roll. On that occasion, he expressed his preference, saying, “Whichever woman I end up marrying, she must be Jewish.
The tale of how a couple found love despite their contrasting cultural heritages will be the basis for Foster’s upcoming series, titled “Nobody Wants This.” This series, which premiered on Netflix this week, features Adam Brody as Noah, a rabbi who develops feelings for Joanne, portrayed by Kristen Bell, who is a sex-advice podcaster.
Forty-year-old Tikhman isn’t a spiritual guide; instead, he jointly established a music management firm. He doesn’t view himself as particularly religious. However, his parents escaped the former Soviet Union in 1979 due to persecution for being Jewish. Upon settling in San Francisco, they imbued in Tikhman the belief that it was his duty to preserve the Jewish heritage.
He expresses deep admiration for his parents, acknowledging the hardships they endured as Jews. He doesn’t wish to let them down.
Meanwhile, Foster grew up in a family that didn’t follow any traditional religious beliefs, as her father David Foster, a renowned songwriter, has been married five times. Her mother, Rebecca Dyer (Foster’s second wife), is a former model and together they had three of David’s six children. Later on, one of the men her mother dated was Jewish, and Foster mentions that she found attending temple during this time more appealing than church. A decade later, she chose to join a few Judaism classes with a friend who was trying to learn more about her faith.
The concept of conversion didn’t faze her. Her unique “complex family background” led Foster to long for traditions that she hadn’t experienced in her upbringing.
Foster, aged 42, mentions that one of the reasons he was attracted to Simon was because he combined a contemporary and hip vibe with an old-fashioned charm. He would often suggest visits to check on someone or see his grandma, which wasn’t part of Foster’s upbringing.
In the early afternoon, Tikhman returns to the West Hollywood apartment he shares with his partner, a quick seven-minute drive from his workplace situated in the Live Nation building. This modern abode has been their temporary home for two years while they work on renovations at their house in Hancock Park. Despite its high-end features, the apartment’s expansive windows provide a view of a nearby grocery store parking lot.
Prior to giving Foster a kiss, Tikhman first popped his head into the nursery, as the couple’s four-month-old daughter, Noa, had just stirred from her afternoon rest. This apartment was the birthplace of Noa, delivered in May, following 20 challenging rounds of IVF spanning over six years. After the delivery, Foster shared photographs on Instagram depicting her labor here, in an inflatable tub.
As a dedicated fan, I’ve been captivated by the engaging conversations on “The World’s First Podcast,” co-hosted by the incredible Foster and her sister Sara. When I finally accepted Foster’s Instagram friendship, after a strategic two-day wait, I must admit I wasn’t exactly ecstatic to discover she was a public figure.
“It wasn’t an ideal situation,” he admits to thinking. “I’m just more of a private person.”
Despite his efforts to prevent it, he couldn’t stop himself from dating her. However, years later, when she revealed that she had sold a TV series concept based on their love story, he panicked. It was tolerable if Foster remained in the public eye, but he didn’t want to be. Consequently, he asked her not to proceed with writing the show.
In the year 2022, she hadn’t penned a single word for three consecutive years. After dabbling in acting during her twenties, with her most notable role being a five-episode stint on “The O.C.”, Foster decided to switch careers in 2012. She secured a job as a staff writer on Ryan Murphy’s NBC series “The New Normal”. Alongside her sister Sara, she co-created the VH1 mockumentary series “Barely Famous”, which satirized their lives in the Hollywood sphere. The show ran for two seasons, and then in 2018, Foster sold a pilot titled “Daddy Issues” to 20th Century Fox. In this project, she acted alongside Don Johnson as a character whose father began dating her best friend; unfortunately, it failed to secure a broadcast.
Foster once more changed direction. Alongside Sara, she served as creative directors for Bumble, later co-founding a clothing brand, Favorite Daughter. At the age of 35, she encountered Tikhman. However, being in a stable relationship didn’t necessarily spark inspiration. Instead, her characters were prone to self-sabotage, repeating the same mistakes without finding the core of their problems. Without her cynical perspective, writer’s block became too much for her to handle.
Upon encountering Simon,” she shares, “I found myself in a position where it seemed I had to decide between finding contentment with my partner and discovering inspiration. There was no humor in the situation.
As I watched her embark on the 10-week conversion process at American Jewish University, I could see a transformative change unfolding. Near the culmination of this spiritual voyage, she was posed deep-rooted inquiries by a trio of rabbis, probing into her motivations.
Are you sure you want to do this? It’s not easing being Jewish.
Are you ready to be hated by people?
If someone is being antisemitic and asks who is Jewish, are you going to stand up?
If you and your husband get divorced, will you keep being Jewish?
She encountered questions she had never considered before, and they lingered in her mind. With a swift affirmative gesture, she concurred, yet the dilemmas persisted. This newfound challenge ignited her creativity after many years of stagnation, leading to the sale of “Nobody Wants This” to Fox. (Previously known as “Shiksa,” which is an old Yiddish term Brody’s character explains as a historical insult, now commonly used to denote a hot, blonde non-Jew.)
The only thing was, she never ran it past Tikhman.
He responded, ‘Sorry, but what was the show about?'” Foster recounts. “In that moment, I was taken aback. I hadn’t anticipated any issues. To me, it seemed like I was transforming our story into something engaging. I thought he would be grateful.” However, he had a different perspective.
Tikhman explains that he comes from a deeply private household and shares an anecdote passed down by his mother: In the Soviet Union, carelessness with words as a Jew could potentially lead to arrest.
Worried that the show might damage her relationship, Foster began secretly hoping it would never happen. She delayed working on a pilot script, thinking that maybe the producers would abandon the project over time. Unfortunately for her, they didn’t.
One of the showrunners, Steve Levitan from “Modern Family,” proposed an adjustment to a script that addressed some issues with Foster’s character. Originally, Noah was portrayed as similar to Tikhman, causing Levitan to question if the romantic tension between a Jewish and non-Jewish character would be compelling enough for viewers. However, by introducing a rabbi and a non-Jewish character falling in love, it certainly added some authentic conflict.
It was beneficial that Tikhman’s parents were fully supportive, even though he had reservations. She invested numerous hours on phone calls with his father discussing possible plotlines, and later during production, she incorporated her mother-in-law as a backdrop in a scene filmed at Sinai Temple.
Tikhman adds, “This is what Erin should be doing, indeed. She’s a gifted writer, truly exceptional. The other day, while watching an episode, I found myself envious of the writing skills displayed by that character.
As a die-hard movie enthusiast, let me tell you, my infatuation with this charming rabbi is bound to match the intensity of the fanaticism for Seth Cohen from “The O.C.” in the early 2000s. This guy seems to have it all – he’s emotionally open, confessing his intentions for a serious relationship with her character right off the bat. He pulls out chairs for her, immerses himself in her podcast to truly understand her, even goes as far as buying flowers for her mother. And get this – he educates her about Jewish traditions without an ounce of condescension, like taking her outside to witness the setting stars to mark the end of Shabbat. Simply put, he’s a dream come true!
Although some parts of the story aren’t based on real events, Foster asserts that the fundamental character traits portrayed are true to Tikhman’s nature. For instance, when they had only been dating for four months, Tikhman planned to accompany her on a one-day work trip to Dallas because he was eager to join, even though it was short notice – something that left Foster perplexed due to the brevity of the trip.
Foster said, “‘I’ve never met your grandmother who lives there, but I really should,'” he mentioned, not having any plans to see her beforehand. Surprisingly, Tikhman arrived, and they all got together. Not long after, Foster and the grandmother were regularly chatting on the phone a couple of times a week.
It appears that Foster consistently holds her partner in high esteem, often highlighting his virtues and superior qualities. Unsurprisingly, this tends to aggravate him.
She comments, “Simon seems to radiate an energy I thought wouldn’t jive with mine, thinking he might be too positive.” Previously, she had found that anyone she selected who was kind-hearted tended to be overly gentle or submissive. However, Simon is not timid or weak in his feminist spirit, possessing a strong, masculine energy instead.
Just then, their recently hired nanny, who hails from Russia, strolls up with Noa in tow. They’re hoping their little one will pick up the language as she grows.
“This is my other girl,” Tikhman says proudly, pinching the child’s cheek.
The reason Foster talks so much about him — about how happy their family makes her — is that she wasn’t always sure this was in the cards for her. She did, after all, date Chad Michael Murray in her 20s.
For quite some time, I’ve taken pleasure in my singlehood. I enjoyed the flirtatious banter and cherished my daily rituals, like savoring my morning coffee alone in my cozy breakfast nook. I found myself pondering who could possibly warrant sharing this independence, who could harmoniously fit into my sanctuary without intrusion.
She admits, “I never imagined it could happen, but I’ve grown accustomed to that idea. Now, I find myself restraining myself from approaching and settling in his lap. Simon has become an obsession for me; he’s my source of inspiration. And this production feels like a heartfelt missive to him.
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2024-09-28 13:32