Hoda Kotb painfully opens up about dealing with the sudden death of her father: ‘The dam just exploded’

Hoda Kotb painfully opens up about dealing with the sudden death of her father: 'The dam just exploded'

As a lifestyle expert with years of experience under my belt, I wholeheartedly agree with Hoda Kotb’s poignant insights on grief and friendship. Her heartfelt story about losing her father at such a young age and the impact it had on her life is both moving and inspiring.


As a lifestyle expert, I’d like to share a personal experience that resonates deeply with me. Much like many of you, I’ve faced the unimaginable loss of a loved one – my father, whose sudden departure due to a heart attack left an indelible mark on my life during my college years.

On Thursday’s episode of “Today with Hoda & Jenna,” the 60-year-old star and co-host Jenna Bush Hager talked about being ‘resilient women,’ often feeling the urge to present a ‘tough facade.’ However, Hoda experienced a sudden recollection.

Occasionally, I’m struck by a quirky recollection from the past. Way back when I was navigating the turbulent waters of college life, my father had departed, and I can still vividly recall one of my sorority sisters. It was well over a week since his passing, and I was struggling to get back on track with my studies. Then, out of the blue, she entered our shared space.

She briefly sat beside me, looked at me, and asked, “May I inquire about your well-being sincerely?” To which I replied, “Sure,” and she followed up with, “How are you truly? You don’t usually sound like that.” Normally, I respond with something like, “I’m good, everything is fine, I just need to study…”

As I gazed upon her, a floodgate seemed to open. It felt much like encountering someone who genuinely inquires, stirring an emotional surge within me. Yet, I understand the inclination of others to hear words of affirmation as a means to move forward; I empathize with this desire for positivity.

Hoda Kotb painfully opens up about dealing with the sudden death of her father: 'The dam just exploded'

Hoda Kotb painfully opens up about dealing with the sudden death of her father: 'The dam just exploded'

‘But I still remember her name was Amy and she looked at me and she said, “no, for real” and the dam exploded. And it wasn’t like she was one of my besties, she was a really good friend but it just reminds you sometimes just being asked is…’ Hoda trailed off.

As a devoted supporter, I responded by saying: “Indeed, and not only that, but the bravery she demonstrated in posing such a question, as discussing matters like these can sometimes feel a bit uncomfortable. The act of sitting beside me and genuinely asking it required real courage on her part.”

In addition, a lesson that stood out for me is one that those who have experienced loss are familiar with: sometimes people think, “I don’t want to disturb them by intruding on their privacy, so I won’t visit, I won’t call, or make contact.” Hoda explained.

‘It’s important for me to consistently contact, connect, and be present. I should always offer the option for someone to decline, but if I don’t make an effort, I might be taking away their choice to decide.’

Based on my own experiences, I firmly believe that reaching out to someone who might be going through a tough time can make all the difference. It doesn’t have to be grand gestures or elaborate plans; even a simple phone call, a heartfelt note, or a casserole delivered could mean the world to them. However, if you feel that giving them space is the best approach, it’s always good to ask first. After all, everyone deals with adversity differently, and offering support in a way that works for them can truly help them get through their struggles.

Jenna concurred: “When someone appears for you, you always remember it,” and Hoda summarized: “There’s nothing more satisfying.”

At the time, Hoda was in her junior year at Virginia Tech, when unfortunately her father, Abdel Kader Kotb, passed away due to a heart attack at the age of 51.

During a conversation on Today with Hoda & Jenna in August 2023, Hoda spoke about a challenging period in her life and mentioned another friend who stood by her during those tough times.

Hoda Kotb painfully opens up about dealing with the sudden death of her father: 'The dam just exploded'
Hoda Kotb painfully opens up about dealing with the sudden death of her father: 'The dam just exploded'
Hoda Kotb painfully opens up about dealing with the sudden death of her father: 'The dam just exploded'

The mother-of-two revealed how long-time pal Peggy Fox failed a class to be by her side when school became too much for her to handle. 

Hoda told Jenna that her father had died, and during that time, she felt indifferent towards her classes and everything else.

As a fervent enthusiast, let me share an incident: There was a test, and my eyes met the instructor, who casually mentioned, “It’s time for your assessment.” Frankly, I just wasn’t in the mood, so I boldly declared, “I think I’ll pass on this one.”

Despite being told by the teacher that she risked failing the course if she didn’t complete the test, she picked up her bag and left anyway.

She indicated that someone else had taken their backpack as she continued her walk, choosing not to speak up about it. She strolled all the way to the tranquil duck pond, where we found a picnic table. I perched atop it, and she settled down beside me.

Hoda shared with us that a small act, which happened when she was particularly needing it, was precisely provided by Peggy – her long-time friend.

When I was prepared, I exclaimed, “I can hardly believe you flunked that class alongside me.” She replied, “I simply wanted to be here, sharing time with you,” she said. Essentially, it wasn’t about needing or wanting me; it was more like I turned around and found her sitting there.

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2024-08-15 20:50

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