Heather Gay says ‘Housewives’ rescued her. And she’s got the receipts to prove it

Heather Gay says 'Housewives' rescued her. And she's got the receipts to prove it
NEW YORK —

As a seasoned observer of reality television, I find myself captivated by the journey of Jen Shah, one of the Housewives of Salt Lake City. Her tale is a testament to the complexities of loyalty, faith, and self-discovery that unfolds on our screens each week.


Recently, Heather Gay found herself in her middle age, juggling the responsibilities of motherhood to three children. For much of her adult life, she embodied the typical “Molly Mormon” persona – a devoted spouse, parent, and member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. However, when her marriage disintegrated, so did her identity. Left in a precarious financial situation reliant on her ex-husband, she was resolute about launching her medspa business. Becoming famous was never in the picture.

She remembers saying, “I was about to be sent out to graze. I saw no promising prospects for the future. I was simply trying to be a good mother and upstanding person, ready to turn my back on life and pass away. That, in essence, was my intention.

Later on, Bravo reached out to Gay, who was later cast in “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City,” which debuted in 2020. This series stood out by exploring how the women’s lives were shaped by organized religion, particularly the LDS church. Immediately, Gay stole the show as the intelligent, self-aware, and extremely relatable housewife who didn’t hesitate to reveal her insecurities or make a self-deprecating joke. She wasn’t a size zero, didn’t wear designer clothes from head to toe, or travel with a glam squad. Instead, she showed genuine excitement for eating meat on a stick and occasionally had to deal with the consequences of drinking too many espresso martinis, which sometimes led to her being found with her head in the toilet.

Reality TV can be a lot of things — a bid for attention, a cash grab. But for Gay, it turned out to be a calling.

She declares, “This is the most significant task I’ve ever undertaken,” she says, seated at a bar in midtown Manhattan’s hotel. Gay is here for a watch party of Season 5 of “RHOSLC.” With her chiseled jawline, brilliantly white teeth and slender figure, she embodies the quintessential Housewife image.

She expresses gratitude by saying, “The ‘housewives’ saved me; they provided me with another opportunity to live. They took me from the confines of the church and introduced me to financial freedom and public recognition.

Heather Gay says 'Housewives' rescued her. And she's got the receipts to prove it

Through her fame, Gay has capitalized on it by publishing a successful memoir titled “Bad Mormon,” followed by another book scheduled for release in December. She’s experienced highs and lows, such as a challenging period when she angered fans with her staunch support of castmate Jen Shah, who served prison time for her involvement in a telemarketing scam, potentially causing some backlash towards herself. However, she solidified her status among the legendary “Real Housewives” by confronting fellow cast member Monica Garcia over a social media account that disparaged her colleagues. A video of Gay’s outburst became viral, with the phrase, “Receipts, proof, timeline, screenshots,” being particularly popular and quoted in congressional debates, parodied by Marvel, and subtly referenced on Jeopardy.

Apart from this significant change, she’s experienced yet another major makeover, shedding over 25 lbs by using Ozempic. As always, she’s been honest and upfront in addressing this topic, freely discussing her usage of the weight reduction medication.

In my own words, I’d express it as follows: “This past year has been the absolute peak of my life so far,” I remark, taking a refreshing sip from a glass filled with invigorating lime and basil-infused water. (Rest assured, I haven’t forsaken my beloved espresso martinis; the bar remains temporarily closed.)

As Season 5 begins, Gay finds herself at a critical juncture: Can she savor the perks of being a “Housewives” star while continuing to embody the relatable charm that won her so many fans? From our chat, it seems clear that Gay is committed to being a familiar bridge for Bravo’s enthusiasts, who share a love for shows like “Degrassi High,” movies such as “The Parent Trap,” and affordable fashion finds like her $29 ring from Zara.

Executive Producer Lisa Shannon remarks, “The best part about this job is seeing someone rise from anonymity to discover their true potential and seize opportunities with success – Heather is a perfect illustration of that.” She adds, “Heather represents the audience’s voice because she’s so authentic. She’s keenly perceptive, doesn’t shy away from expressing her views, and her viewpoints are often accurate.

Heather Gay says 'Housewives' rescued her. And she's got the receipts to prove it

Meredith Marks shares that Heather Gay employs humor as a means to mask her personal suffering. They first crossed paths during a project at the Sundance Film Festival, but their friendship blossomed on a car ride home from a cast excursion to Zion National Park in Utah. At the time, Marks was grieving the loss of her father and felt her colleagues were trivializing his death. “It was quite painful, and I was deeply hurt,” Marks recalls. “I was apprehensive about getting into the Sprinter van.” Gay, however, reached out to Marks, inviting her to sit with her. Throughout the journey home, Gay managed to make Marks laugh, demonstrating her knack for turning difficult situations into moments of laughter and camaraderie.

In her own words, Gay attributes her ability to connect with others to the fact that she was an enthusiastic viewer of reality TV shows, particularly “The Real Housewives,” even before she joined their ranks.

She asked for more details, and on several occasions during our chat, she started to tear up. “Are you trying to make me cry?”, she questioned, but indeed, the memory of her becoming addicted to the early seasons of “The Real Housewives of Orange County” was enough to bring tears to her eyes.

Instead of living her own experiences, she found herself identifying with figures like Tamra Judge (formerly Barney), to such an extent that she openly expressed her desire for divorce to her spouse. She admitted, “Seeing that scene made me want a divorce, but I couldn’t find the courage to say it aloud or even think it myself. I owe these women a debt of gratitude for broadcasting their lives on television, for portraying the good, the bad and the ugly, for providing an escape route, and for showing me a world that I would never have known because my life was so confined.

Prior to “RHOSLC”, Gay identified as a “PIMO” – physically present but mentally absent from the LDS church. She kept a Keurig machine, but always left only hot chocolate pods in it, fearing her family or neighbors might think she was drinking coffee. “It’s rather absurd for a divorced adult woman to worry about such things,” she remarks now.

After taking part in the show, she was finally able to depart from the church permanently. If it weren’t for the show, she believes she would still be identified as a “PIMO” (a person who is mentally out of the church but not physically). However, the fame she gained from “Housewives” also played a role in her estrangement from most of her family.

If she had decided to quietly leave the church privately, they might have been disappointed but would have eventually come to terms with it. However, Gay openly and unashamedly made her departure, and she is unrepentant about it. Moreover, she is thriving, which could make people even more apprehensive if she were struggling with addiction or other issues that they had warned would occur if she left.

Similar to Gay, a large portion of the initial “Real Housewives of Salt Lake City” cast shares connections with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. In addition to their thrilling Sprinter van journeys, this series has ventured into uncharted territory by delving into profound topics such as excommunication and spiritual distress.

Additionally, it paved the way for “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives,” a popular reality series on Hulu which premiered in September. This show focuses on a group of young Utah influencers whose lifestyle choices (such as divorce and swinging) sometimes differ from church teachings. The release of this series came at a time when there was much talk about the “traditional wife” trend, exemplified by LDS influencer Hannah Neeleman, also known as “Ballerina Farm.

Gay expresses that it’s “extremely affirming” to see the widespread interest in the challenges women face within the church. He exclaims, “Bravo, women, for standing up and revealing the ways we are controlled in our marriages, limited in who can join our religious gatherings, and subjected to unfair double standards.

Gay expresses hope that the discussion persists: In contrast to numerous institutions being held accountable following movements like Black Lives Matter and #MeToo, the LDS church appears untouched, she notes. “There’s no movement to pull down statues of Brigham Young, even though his historical actions have been far more questionable than those of Christopher Columbus,” she adds.

Heather Gay says 'Housewives' rescued her. And she's got the receipts to prove it

Similar to top-tier athletes, housewives experience periods of high performance and less productive times. The popularity of Gay saw a decline during Season 3, as she remained loyal to Shah who repeatedly denied any involvement in the telemarketing scam, only to eventually plead guilty just before the trial.

As a dedicated fan of this series, I can’t help but notice the unwavering loyalty Gay showed towards Shah throughout our shared journey. She was so steadfast that even when asked about the origin of her shiner after a night of festivities in San Diego, she chose to keep mum for months on end. It wasn’t until the Season 4 finale that she finally spoke up, accusing Shah of causing the injury – an allegation that many viewers had been whispering amongst themselves. (It’s important to clarify that Gay has no recollection of the incident herself and only knows the truth about her black eye due to what Shah later confided.)

Gay links her dedication towards Shah with a childhood religious education that “taught me to prioritize others over myself,” she explains. “I believed my sole means of giving back was to keep quiet and stay loyal. This conduct I adopted from decades of Mormonism: endure, remain silent, don’t complain, don’t seek out faults,” she says, once more feeling tears in her eyes. “I had been brainwashed. After 40 years, I emerged from a cult and found myself with wealth, liberty, and chances. I was terrified of ruining it.

Shah’s act of betrayal played a significant role in magnifying what seemed to be a minor infraction by Garcia – creating a troll account that wasn’t widely recognized. This reminded her of our past experiences with Jen, when she wouldn’t accept responsibility for her actions. To Gay, it appeared as though Garcia was going against her own team and had broken the fundamental rule in reality TV: Never undermine the one who supports you.

Instead of channeling the fervor and dedication she previously had for the LDS Church, she now pours that same passion into her duties as a homemaker. With a touch of humor, she says, “I swapped the church for the religion of real-life TV shows.

appearing on television has its drawbacks, one of which is the increased focus on her personal appearance. Unfortunately, she’s faced derogatory comments from fellow actors such as being called “Shrek” and comparing her body to a Lego figurine. Remarks from viewers have been even more harsh. Gay expresses a poignant observation, “There’s a cruel twist of irony: At a time when our bodies are showing signs of aging, we’re on TV. We’re not models; we’re ordinary, middle-aged women.

On “The Real Housewives,” it’s common to see significant changes in appearance during the second season, almost like a running theme. Many established cast members undergo dramatic transformations after watching themselves on TV. However, Gay’s transformation was delayed; she prioritized an “emotional makeover” instead. She is among a few “Housewives” who have openly discussed using a weight-loss drug, although others are suspected.

She remarks, “Everyone seems to be using it, even their pets! I’m thankful that it succeeded. However, if it hadn’t, I would still be present. The only difference is, I wouldn’t be wearing shorts.

Lately, Gay expressed that losing weight led her to understand that the concept of body positivity was often misleading. While her underlying message, which emphasized that people tend to treat you more favorably when you’re thinner, was overshadowed by sensational headlines, she laments the situation. “I wish it didn’t have to be this way,” she reflects. “I’ve been both overweight and slim, and I appreciated myself in both instances. However, the way people interact with me is noticeably different.

As I prepare to head out for tonight’s premiere watch party, I can’t help but reflect on the thrilling emotional journey that each new season takes me on. Typically, I get a sneak peek at the episodes mere days before they air on Bravo. The anticipation is palpable, and when it finally hits the screen, the reactions from fans pour in swiftly and fervently across social media platforms.

For 16 weeks, you’re left uncertain if you’re living or dying due to the intense nature of each episode. One week might bring glowing reviews, only to be followed by a brutal criticism the next. It’s both sickening and thrilling,” she admits. “I can’t get enough of it! At my age and in my current phase of life, where else would I find this level of adrenaline rush?

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2024-10-23 13:32

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