Fearne Cotton alludes to ‘shame’ over paedophile ex Ian Watkins’ horrific child sex crimes as she recalls struggling to continue working at Radio 1 due to feeling ‘glared at, stared at and ignored’ by her colleagues

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Fearne Cotton has spoken about struggling with depression and feeling deeply ashamed after discovering her former boyfriend, Ian Watkins, was convicted of child sex offences. She described a difficult period following the news.

The 44-year-old podcaster briefly dated the lead singer of Lostprophets in the early 2000s, before his terrible crimes came to light.

Last October, 48-year-old Charles Watkins died in prison while serving a 29-year sentence for several sex crimes.

Fearne hasn’t spoken publicly about her relationship with him, but she’s hinted at feeling ashamed and being upset by online harassment related to it. Sources have told the Mail that she still feels deeply embarrassed whenever his name comes up.

In her recently released book, Likeable, the former radio host alluded to the difficult period she experienced following the admission of a child sex offender to thirteen offenses.

She doesn’t mention Watkins by name, but remembers a time when she realized a terrible news story – one that didn’t directly involve her at first – would unexpectedly connect to her life and be reported on her own radio program.

Watkins was arrested in 2012, then convicted and sentenced the following year, while Fearne Cotton was hosting the mid-morning show on BBC Radio 1.

Fearne Cotton revealed in an interview with The Mirror that she struggled with overwhelming shame and nausea while continuing to work on air, making it harder and harder to broadcast.

She wrote that she feels like everyone in the office is either watching her intensely or completely overlooking her. She wonders if they’re gossiping about her, or if she’s just being self-centered by assuming they are.

She described forcing down her difficult emotions – anger, sadness, and grief – just to keep functioning, but admitted it led to a period of deep sadness and feeling overwhelmed.

She explained that therapy helped her release the shame she’d been carrying, realizing it wasn’t her responsibility, but stemmed from the actions of others, particularly men.

The mother of two explained that she was referring to men who had hurt her, mistreated her, and then left her to deal with the consequences on her own.

I still can’t believe it. They actually… they killed David. Stabbed him in the neck at Wakefield prison. It happened in October, and I’ve been sick with worry ever since. The police finally charged two guys – a 25-year-old and a 43-year-old – with his murder. It’s not enough, but at least they’re facing justice… or, they will, when the trial starts in May. I just keep replaying it in my head, wishing there was something, anything, I could have done.

Immediately after hearing the news, Fearne shared a post on Instagram expressing her feelings of shame and admitting she’d been having trouble sleeping.

In her latest video, she shared four key takeaways from the week. The first came from a conversation with Charlie Mackesy on the Happy Place podcast, where they discussed shame – a topic she found particularly insightful.

One thing I really took away from that experience was realizing how many people struggle with shame, but feel like they’re the only ones. That’s actually what shame does – it makes you think you’re alone in feeling it, but you’re definitely not.

She shared four things she learned this week in her post. She admitted she hasn’t been sleeping well and feels a little scattered, but is trying to take the lessons life is teaching her.

In 2013, Watkins received a total of 29 years in prison for sexually abusing a child and attempting to rape an 11-month-old baby.

In addition to his 29-year sentence, he was found guilty of 11 more crimes at Cardiff Crown Court. These additional sentences will be served concurrently with his existing term.

The singer committed horrific crimes, including attempting to sexually assault a fan’s daughter and urging another person to harm their own child during an online video conversation.

Investigators discovered the convicted sex offender was highly skilled with technology, and his collection of child abuse material totaled an enormous 27 terabytes of data.

The collection was much larger than the data storage used by South Wales Police, and it held five times more information than the force’s system, which supported 2,862 officers and 1,631 staff members at the time.

As a video enthusiast, I’m always amazed by how much storage a terabyte provides! It’s incredible to think that I can fit about 472 hours of professional-quality video, or roughly 150 hours of HD footage, onto just one terabyte drive. That’s a huge amount of content!

After initial attempts failed, specialists from the UK’s Government Communications Headquarters (GCHQ) were called in to decipher the password protecting the files on his computer.

Watkins initially insisted he hadn’t done anything wrong, but then unexpectedly changed his plea to guilty right before the final moment.

The defense explained that his drug use – crack cocaine and crystal meth – caused him to have no memory of the extensive abuse he committed.

In 1997, he co-founded the band Lostprophets in Pontypridd, Wales, and recorded five albums with them. He was later revealed to be a paedophile.

The band from Wales revealed they were splitting up just a month before Watkins was due to be sentenced. They stated they had no knowledge of Watkins’ crimes.

Following the revelation of the band member’s terrible crimes, HMV stopped selling their music, and the Rhondda Cynon Taf council removed paving stones that featured the band’s song lyrics.

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2026-03-12 14:49