Ben Whishaw claims gay actors have to be ‘sexy in a heterosexual way’ if they want to be ‘really successful’

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As someone who follows industry trends closely, I recently came across Ben Whishaw’s thoughts on navigating success as a gay actor. He shared a really interesting, and frankly, a bit disheartening point: he feels that to truly reach the top, gay actors often feel pressured to present themselves as sexually desirable to a heterosexual audience. It’s a tough reality, but he suggests that’s often seen as a necessary component for achieving mainstream success. It really highlights the pressures and expectations still placed on performers, and it’s something we need to keep discussing.

The 45-year-old actor is famous for playing Q in the James Bond movies, and he’s also been in films such as Cloud Atlas and The Danish Girl.

Ben recently told The Guardian that there aren’t many openly gay actors who have achieved significant success in the entertainment industry.

He explained that achieving true success often feels tied to fitting into traditional, heterosexual standards of attractiveness. He acknowledged it’s a complex issue and likely varies for everyone, but essentially, being perceived as sexually appealing to a heterosexual audience seems to be a factor.

The actor clarified that he understands and doesn’t fault anyone for keeping their sexual orientation private.

He acknowledged that while things have improved, homophobia and prejudice still exist. He also pointed out that everyone’s personal journey with their identity is unique, and he respects people’s decision to keep that private.

Ben publicly shared he was gay in 2014. He and Australian composer Mark Bradshaw were together for ten years, from 2012 to 2022.

He shared that early in his acting career, he felt he couldn’t be openly gay because it wasn’t a viable path for success.

He explained to Sunday Times Style that when he began his career, very few gay actors were openly out, making it seem impractical to be open about his own sexuality.

‘But now it kind of is sustainable, but, actually, it opens up so many questions I have for myself. 

‘Because, again, part of me still thinks that it is nobody’s business.’

Ben’s last rumoured romance was with Fleabag star Kadiff Kirwan. 

The actor reportedly met Kadiff, age 36, while working together on the BBC show This Is Going To Hurt, where they both portrayed doctors.

The Sun reported last January that the couple had been dating for several months and took a romantic vacation to Greece the previous year.

According to a source, Ben and Kadiff both prefer to keep their romantic relationships private. However, they’re very close friends with many of the same people and enjoy spending time together frequently.

After meeting on the set of ‘This Is Going To Hurt,’ they started dating and have been together privately ever since.

Although they aren’t often seen together in public, they did appear together at Margate Pride last year and had their picture taken.

Kadiff subtly revealed he’s in a relationship while on Jessie Ware’s Table Manners podcast, calling Ben his ‘other half’.

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2025-12-17 13:54