Dick Van Dyke admits ‘no one can be Mr Nice Guy all the time’ as he turns 100 and reveals what drives him nuts

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My eyesight isn’t great lately, so I’ve been spending more time relaxing on the couch or in bed. I realize calling myself a ‘potato’ is silly, since potatoes can’t talk!

I tend to talk constantly while watching TV, particularly when Arlene is there to listen. She jokes that watching TV with me is better than any other show!

I’ll be honest, the show can occasionally be quite intense. When I’m comfortable and watching at home, it’s easy to get really invested and carried away with my opinions.

Moment by moment, show by show, I’m in a froth of nitpicking disapproval.

And guess what? It feels great! And it’s good for me. 

It’s okay to be critical sometimes! When it comes to television, there’s a lot of content that deserves criticism, and it’s easy to find flaws in many shows.

Before I walk you through a typical day in my life, I want to be clear about something. I always remember there are real people – with feelings and stories – on the other side of every screen and interaction. It’s something I keep top of mind.

I’m sorry if I accidentally upset anyone with my comments. It’s all meant in good fun, but just a warning – I can be pretty blunt when I’m really expressing myself, and I don’t hold back!

After each short rant, I enthusiastically use the remote to flip through channels, always looking for something new to complain about.

It’s funny to watch Ken Jennings on Jeopardy! and wonder who styles him. His ties never have a dimple, which is really noticeable! He does button one jacket button, a look I actually started, but then his tie hangs below that button – it just doesn’t look right.

You don’t want the tie hanging out below the button! Every night, I am on his back.

Poke.

Entertainment Tonight. Who is that? Her again? Why?!

Poke. 

Wicked. Do not get me started on how musical movies these days just butcher good choreography. 

Honestly, the editing in this is just breathtaking. All those quick cuts, the way the camera moves – it’s mesmerizing! I keep finding myself asking, ‘Who are those legs?’ and ‘Why on earth are they dancing inside that huge, rotating bookshelf?!’ It’s so captivating and strange, I can’t look away.

Fred Astaire would never allow this. No dancer should, really. 

I’ve criticized the directors of Mary Poppins and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang before, but they both understood the power of letting a scene play out in a wide shot. This allowed the audience to fully take in the entire performance as it happened.

It seems like many directors today prioritize editing and camera work over dance choreography.

We use machines for those first two things, but choreography involves movement with our bodies. Honestly, which one is more enjoyable to watch?

Poke.  

As a lifestyle observer, I’ve always wondered about something I see on talk shows: why do the host and guest instantly act like they’ve known each other forever? They’ve literally just met, yet the forced familiarity is strong! It’s a bit of a performance, isn’t it? I find it fascinating – and a little strange – how quickly that ‘best friend’ act gets turned on for the cameras.

Political Shows. Everyone is reading from a teleprompter.

Even the ‘arguments’ are all planned out. How is this useful to anyone?

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The Dick Van Dyke Show. Hmmm. Well, that didn’t land at all.

Ritchie’s smirking again. What’s with all these ads? It’s all cut up!

Stop mugging, Dick! 

Take it down a notch, Dick! 

Now, if I’d paused and lifted my chin a tiny bit higher, that would have been funny.

This text is adapted from Dick Van Dyke’s book, 100 Rules for Living to 100, published November 18, 2025, by Point Productions, Inc. It is used with permission from Grand Central Publishing, an imprint of Hachette Book Group, and all rights are reserved.

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2025-12-13 20:49