Ore Oduba first encountered pornography at the young age of nine. At the time, he was a choir boy attending private school in Dorset and was raised by his Nigerian parents, who had strict values. He was the youngest child in the family.
A friend’s older brother exposed him to inappropriate images, which deeply affected the rest of his life.
Looking back to the mid-90s, things were so different! As a lifestyle expert, I remember a time when getting online meant waiting for that dial-up connection and computers were…well, let’s just say they took up a lot more space! It’s amazing how much access to information has changed since then – it really wasn’t the instant world we know today.
It was disturbing to see a video game image presented in a sexual way. I’d always considered those games harmless and fun, but this changed that. It just made me want to understand what was happening.
Young Ore Oduba didn’t realize it at the time, but seeing those images would lead to a serious addiction to adult content. This addiction continued to affect his life, even as he achieved success on television, working for the BBC on programs like the Olympics coverage, Newsround, and The One Show, as well as for ITV on Britain’s Favourite Walks, and ultimately winning Strictly Come Dancing.
Growing up with smartphones becoming so common, I noticed it became completely normal for adult content to just… become part of everyday life. It wasn’t separate, it just happened alongside everything else.
It turned into a really unhealthy habit. I was constantly busy – shopping on my phone, checking emails, always doing multiple things at once. At its worst, it meant an entire day was consumed by [watching adult content]. It just became deeply ingrained in my routine.
It wasn’t until his marriage to Portia Jett, the mother of his children Roman, seven, and Genie, four, ended last year that he finally began to overcome his addiction – an addiction that had, at its worst, led him to contemplate suicide.
Oduba, who turns 40 this month, is sharing his story to raise awareness about a common but often hidden addiction.
While many addictions carry shame and judgment, pornography addiction is particularly hidden and rarely discussed openly.
He admits that sharing his story will likely come as a surprise to many, telling me this when we met at the London studio where I record my Daily Mail podcast, ‘The Life Of Bryony.’ He hopes that by speaking out, he can help others.
I understand this topic is delicate and could potentially harm our reputation. However, witnessing the ongoing negative impact on young people, I felt it was crucial to discuss it.
He trailed off, tears welling up, saying he believes that if we spend our lives feeling ashamed or staying silent about what matters to us…
I sat down with him less than a day before he bravely decided to share his struggle with addiction. It was startling, honestly. The man in front of me was a world away from the vibrant, energetic TV personality everyone fell in love with on Strictly Come Dancing almost a decade ago. That smiling, charismatic guy seemed like a different person entirely.
Many people will likely question how someone with young children could share such a personal matter so openly.
After the news broke yesterday, his former partner, Portia, posted a meme on Instagram about how tiring it is to co-parent. She shared it with a moody black-and-white photo of her children and a song called ‘Father Figure’ by Taylor Swift, which includes the lyric, ‘I protect the family.’
He reached this point because his struggle with addiction has been hidden. Now, as a parent, he feels a duty to speak up and raise awareness about this issue, which sadly impacts many children in today’s digital age.
He feels his childhood and much of his adult life were stolen by pornography, and he’s driven to prevent the same thing from happening to others. He’s deeply committed to this cause, so much so that he came prepared for our conversation with a notebook full of ideas and points he wanted to discuss.
A recent 2023 study by the charity Dignify, which focuses on sexual abuse research, found that over 20% of UK teenagers aged 14-18 regularly watch pornography. Of those teens, about 10% reported feeling addicted to it.
Teachers reported to the study that they were dealing with the negative effects of pornography in schools, noting an increase in adult content and concerns about potentially harmful sexual behavior among students.
About one in three young people have received explicit photos or videos, and over half of those came from people they didn’t know.
The new Online Safety Act is intended to shield children from harmful content, but Adebayo Oduba fears resourceful teens will find ways around it. Reflecting on his own experience with explicit images as a young boy in the 1990s, Oduba understands how powerfully appealing such content can be, and the lasting impact it can have.
The photos caught the attention of a boy raised in a family that strongly emphasized discipline, obedience, and learning, as he described it.
His father worked as a lawyer, but his childhood home was a difficult and frightening environment. Although his parents lived together, they were emotionally distant and seemed on the verge of separation.
He started turning to the internet for emotional comfort, finding it a seemingly inviting escape from his problems.
He described it as similar to witnessing a car accident while driving. We don’t want to look, but we can’t help being drawn in by what’s happening.
Looking back, I realized I was naturally curious about intimacy from a young age. It wasn’t anything forced, just a growing awareness and interest in exploring that side of life as I grew up. I remember feeling a sense of discovery and openness as I began to understand those feelings.
It all began pretty innocently, really. I remember him as a teenager, staying up late on the family computer – he loved gaming and discovering music online. It was amazing at the time, because so much music was suddenly free for the taking! I recall he started making mix CDs, and through just exploring, he stumbled upon websites where you could download more than just songs…entire adult movies, too. It was a surprising discovery, to say the least.
I had unrestricted internet access, and looking back, I realize I was already deeply addicted, even though I didn’t fully understand what was happening at the time.
It started to feel like a go-to response for everything I was feeling. Whenever I felt ignored, disconnected, depressed, angry, or sad, it was like turning to a friend for comfort.
Similar to people struggling with substance abuse, he developed a skill for hiding his problems. He realized it was a topic he could never discuss with anyone, something he kept deeply concealed.
Growing up and attending Loughborough University to study sports and social science, his frequent use of pornography had fundamentally changed his brain.
Despite having had girlfriends, he found more excitement and connection online than in any real-life relationship. He doesn’t discuss how his addiction affected Portia, whom he met at Loughborough University, out of consideration for her feelings. However, he admits his actions throughout his life have left him deeply ashamed.
He explained he felt a strong need to escape his feelings. He described a pattern of being with a partner, then turning to pornography afterward.
It’s a difficult topic, but it’s important to know that the NHS now acknowledges erectile dysfunction can be caused by watching pornography.
Teenage and young adult brains continue to develop until around age 25. Exposure to highly stimulating content like pornography can create unrealistic expectations, making it difficult to find similar satisfaction in real-life relationships. As one expert explains, it’s physically challenging to replicate that level of stimulation in a healthy way after prolonged exposure.
For the millions of viewers who voted for him to win Strictly Come Dancing in 2016 – a season that had the show’s most-watched final ever – it may be surprising to see a different side of the cheerful TV personality who danced his way to victory.
That’s precisely the issue, he explains. Addictions – to things like alcohol, drugs, or pornography – often happen even when someone seems to have a perfectly normal life.
While the UK doesn’t have official figures on pornography addiction, studies suggest it’s a widespread issue. For example, the Journal of Behavioural Addictions estimates that around 7% of people in the US struggle with a pornography addiction, and it’s likely many more are affected but hesitant to talk about it.
After sharing his struggles with loved ones, he discovered he wasn’t alone – many others confessed to having similar issues with pornography.
It’s easy to hide what’s really going on, even when something is deeply damaging your life. I kept up a cheerful appearance, and that’s what many people do – they pretend everything is fine to avoid showing how much they’re struggling inside.
He confided in me that he was spending a lot of money – thousands of pounds – on adult content online. He was deeply embarrassed by this, but found it incredibly hard to stop. Like with gambling sites, it was surprisingly difficult to remove his payment information and break free from these websites.
He says it’s simple to become involved, but incredibly hard to escape. To truly be free of it, you have to re-enter the situation that caused it in the first place.
I ran into a few websites that required me to submit my name and a message, and because I have a public profile, that felt a bit concerning.
Okay, so here’s something I see a lot with my clients: that moment of vulnerability after you’ve put yourself out there – maybe applied for something, or even just expressed interest. It’s that feeling of, ‘I’ve shared my contact info, and now what?’ It’s perfectly normal to feel a little uneasy after giving away your details, like you’ve opened a door and aren’t sure what will come through it. It’s all about regaining that sense of control and knowing you still have options, even after you’ve made that first step.
It was incredibly embarrassing, because to explain why I needed to leave, I would have to reveal who I really was – something I desperately wanted to avoid.
Throughout his thirty years of struggling with addiction, he noticed that online content became increasingly shocking and intense.
Honestly, it’s the sheer intensity that gets to me, the way things have escalated… that’s why I had to say something. It’s not like it used to be, not even five years ago! Everything shifted when everyone started working from home during Covid, and it feels like… like all the boundaries just disappeared. It’s become shockingly normal, and that’s what’s so disturbing.
The guilt became overwhelming, and he started experiencing panic attacks. He explained, ‘I just couldn’t resolve the conflict I felt inside.’
It was really tough seeing him go through so much last year and then this year. First, he lost his dad in 2023, and then his marriage fell apart. It finally made him understand he needed to reach out for support, which I’m so glad he did.
Thanks to therapy, he celebrated a year of sobriety from looking at pornography this summer.
This achievement feels particularly meaningful, especially considering the tragic loss of his sister, Lola, who passed away earlier this year at the young age of 37.
This terrible event made him understand that we each have only one opportunity to truly live the life we’re meant to.
He’s understandably anxious about how people will react, but he’s optimistic about building a future where he’s no longer controlled by the addiction that damaged his self-worth.
He says he never would have predicted, even a decade ago, that he’d be talking about a behavior he used to find deeply shameful.
He’s been honest with his family about leading a double life. He recently told his mother something he wished he’d shared when he was a teenager, during a conversation before his 40th birthday. They understand and support his choice to come forward.
He has also become an ambassador for the Smartphone Free Childhood movement.
For Oduba, there is life pre-opening up about his addiction, and life after.
It took hitting some really low points and experiencing loss for me to realize I needed to make a change. But I believe everyone has the ability to recognize their own value and choose to do things differently.
Sometimes, all it takes is a single conversation to inspire change, and I’m hoping this conversation will be that spark for someone – encouraging them to start making positive changes right now.
If you are struggling with similar issues, help can be found via the charity nakedtruthproject.com.
You can listen to the full interview with Ore on the Life Of Bryony podcast on Monday, November 10.
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2025-11-05 04:50