Judd Apatow is in a constant state of fight or flight

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Judd Apatow’s production offices are overflowing with books – bookshelves packed into rooms, and those rooms filled with even more bookshelves. He collects all kinds of books: biographies, photography books, children’s stories, essays, and more. Though he admits he hasn’t read them all, he believes the act of collecting is what matters. “Buying the books is 90% of it,” he says. “As long as I have a huge stack of unread books, I feel like I can’t leave – there’s always more to explore.”

Judd Apatow’s latest book, “Comedy Nerd,” builds on his previous interview collections. It’s a large, visually appealing scrapbook filled with photos that details his entire life and career – from his beginnings as a comedy fan to becoming a successful writer, director, and producer who significantly influenced 21st-century comedy. The book covers both his successes and failures, as well as projects that never came to fruition. Importantly, Apatow is donating the book’s profits to Fire Aid, supporting wildfire relief efforts, and 826 National, a literacy charity.

You recently completed a documentary about Mel Brooks with your collaborator Michael Bonfiglio, and you’re currently working on one about Norm Macdonald. Did those projects inspire you to write the book?

It’s a real privilege to share the stories of these individuals, not just their careers, but their lives as a whole. Mel Brooks inspired so many of us to pursue comedy, and he showed young Jewish boys that a career in show business was achievable. I was thrilled to spend ten hours talking with him about his experiences – what it was like to be Mel Brooks, serving in World War II, working as a TV writer, navigating the challenges of Hollywood, and ultimately developing his unique comedic style.

Growing up, I was completely obsessed with “Saturday Night Live,” and I devoured this amazing scrapbook about the show. It was packed with scripts, behind-the-scenes pictures, and little tidbits that really showed you how everything came together. I also had a similar book about the Marx Brothers, and it got me thinking… I realized I had collected a ton of stuff like that over the years, and it sparked the idea for a book exploring what it means to be obsessed with comedy.

Did that obsession make you an outlier among your childhood peers?

Growing up, I loved the great comedians and shows of the time – like “Saturday Night Live,” Monty Python, and “SCTV,” plus performers like Richard Pryor, Steve Martin, and Carol Burnett. But nobody at school shared my enthusiasm. Strangely, that made me think I might have a chance to work in comedy myself, because it felt like there wasn’t much competition. It was similar to how I felt about alternative music – I was drawn to bands that weren’t mainstream, and I appreciated their uniqueness. Being a fan of “SCTV” felt as special and underground as loving a band like The Replacements.

Did you have a vision of what that world was like?

I never really pictured myself making movies or getting into the technical side of filmmaking. I simply enjoyed watching them. Deep down, I had a dream of becoming a stand-up comedian, someone like Jerry Seinfeld or Garry Shandling, but I was afraid to even try. I often wondered how someone like Bill Murray became so successful, but I didn’t believe I had what it took. Still, I did try stand-up at the end of my senior year of high school. It wasn’t good, but it was a start. I interviewed comedians for the school radio station, and they all told me it takes time to get better. That gave me permission to be terrible for a while, and honestly, I was excited to be in that learning phase. I felt like I was finally getting started.

Did you learn anything new about yourself going through all this stuff?

While writing the book, I often wondered if my intense work ethic was actually good for me. I wanted to create something entertaining, meaningful, and impressive, but I also realized I was partly driven by insecurity and a need for validation. I poured energy into achieving success as a way to feel secure, telling myself that everything would be okay if I just finished the book. At times, I felt like I was pushing myself too hard – like I needed to rest and slow down. It was a strange mix of pride and embarrassment, almost like I was experiencing a manic episode.

Books

Thirty years ago, as a teenager obsessed with comedy, Judd Apatow began interviewing comedians. He grew up on Long Island.

Your commentary does give a picture of your psychic journey, not just “And then I made …”

I was really motivated by my love for comedy and the people working in the field. For a long time, I just wanted to be accepted by them and be considered funny enough to be around them. While writing my book, I realized the best part of it all was the teamwork. When you’re actively working, you’re focused on practical things like earning a living and supporting your family. But looking back, I see how much fun it was because we all created things together. Now, I enjoy remembering moments like Kathryn Hahn’s hilarious performance in “Step Brothers” or Kumail Nanjiani’s in “The Big Sick.” We worked so hard, and it’s wonderful that some of those projects turned out the way we hoped and that people enjoyed them.

Growing up, I loved shows like “Saturday Night Live,” “SCTV,” and Monty Python, and I always wished the people involved could just keep working together. Looking back, I think I was subconsciously trying to create lasting groups. That’s why, after “Freaks and Geeks” ended – which was really hard for me – I immediately tried to get the same team involved in “Undeclared,” and then later with movies. It’s always tough in this business when a show ends and everyone moves on. I think it stems from my childhood – my parents divorced, and I always wanted to hold onto those close connections for as long as possible.

You seem to have included everything you’ve been a part of here.

As a movie fan, I always try to understand the whole picture – the successes and the failures. It’s funny, though, because sometimes the movies people remember most aren’t the ones you’d expect. Like, “Walk Hard” didn’t have a huge opening weekend – it made around $2.9 million, though I’ve seen reports of $4.1 million – but it’s often the first one people bring up when we talk about comedies. Then there’s “The Cable Guy.” It stung when it didn’t do well and got some harsh reviews, but the fact that they’re releasing a new Blu-ray version 30 years later shows it’s found an audience. It’s also surprising how often you discover people haven’t even heard of movies you really loved. But honestly, every one of those projects was made with a lot of heart and a real desire to create something special. You just know something didn’t connect when you see it endlessly looping on DirecTV and feel sorry for anyone who’s stumbling across it. Thankfully, that doesn’t happen too often.

I first encountered you while “Freaks and Geeks” was wrapping up, and it was clear you were juggling two roles: fiercely defending the young cast and writers, while also confidently handling business matters with executives. You were both a protector and a pragmatist.

I’ve found it helpful to recognize that I’m constantly on high alert, which stems from my mental health struggles and puts me in a perpetual state of stress. I’m always searching for problems to fix, and I feel like everything will fall apart if I don’t stay on top of things. That mindset is useful in my job as a producer, but it’s exhausting as a person. It makes it difficult to relax and enjoy the present moment. The biggest challenge is learning to shift gears – like trying to be upbeat and funny right after a difficult work call. It’s hard to be creative and focus on work when you’re worried about potential backlash or negative consequences.

How did it feel to see the book all together?

I’m incredibly pleased with how it turned out. Sometimes I wonder if anyone will even be interested, but I try to remember how much I would have loved a book like this when I was starting out. It combines practical advice – like scripts and studio notes – with my own experiences navigating life and pursuing this career. Ultimately, it’s a story about dedication and perseverance. It takes time and effort to improve, and you have to be willing to work incredibly hard and take big chances. Comedy is all about experimentation; you never really know if something will land, so you rely on intuition and hope for the best.

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2025-10-23 13:33