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Rio Ferdinand confesses he considered breaking up with wife Kate over his grieving kids’ reaction to his union following their mother’s tragic death

BBG News

In simpler terms, Rio Ferdinand discussed the initial phases of his relationship with his current spouse, Kate, and revealed that his children’s response ultimately determined the course of their marriage.

On the ex-TOWIE star’s podcast Blended, the previous footballer, aged 46, discussed his experience of embarking on a new relationship following the loss of his wife Rebecca, and becoming a single parent to Lorenz (18), Tate (16), and Tia (13).

At the tender age of 34, Rebecca sadly lost her life following a brief fight against breast cancer. It seemed as though she was making progress, but unfortunately, a subsequent scan discovered that the cancer had metastasized to her bones five weeks before her passing. Before this tragic event, Rebecca had already arranged her own funeral.

As I grappled with my sorrow, I crossed paths with Kate, whom I started dating in the year 2017. However, introducing her to my loved ones was a process that unfolded gradually. We exchanged vows in Turkey during the beautiful month of September 2019 and are now blessed with two precious bundles of joy – our four-year-old, Cree, and Shae, who will be celebrating her second birthday soon.

In a conversation with his spouse, Rio shared his thoughts about disclosing their relationship to their kids: “It can be tough; there’s no real ‘getting over’ it if it’s not handled carefully – meaning thoughtful discussions should precede any revelation, and the approach needs to be sensitive.

However, if folks are expressing a “no,” and the children seem uncertain or unwilling, I must admit my good fortune since we haven’t reached such a crossroads…

If my children have declined, it’s likely that we aren’t present at this moment. This is because our rare opportunities to reach this location, where we feel intensely in love…

Or simply:
If the kids said no, then we’re not here now. It’s only when we get a chance to come to this place that we deeply cherish each other…

Due to the fact that when the children rejected us, we were in love at the time, yet it was still early enough for us to consider our options. However, on both sides, we thought, ‘The kids won’t accept me, and I can’t handle this situation anymore because it’s too stressful.’

I said, ‘The children aren’t content. They need to be our priority.’ I believe many relationships might suffer or come to an end due to this…

It can be challenging to move forward when you’ve recently discovered feelings for someone who isn’t connected to your children.

If they become entangled but aren’t satisfied, I can’t fathom how you can continue to progress jointly without parting ways.

During the initial phases, he expressed his viewpoint as follows: “It’s crucial to handle the introduction of a newcomer to our home appropriately. We had extensive discussions before we even hinted at the idea to the children…

Initially, we introduced Kate as an acquaintance, and soon enough, she became a regular presence at various social gatherings we attended, including visits to our friends’ homes. Now, it’s safe to say that Kate is a permanent fixture. As for Ronnie, our lovable pet dog, he serves as a charming ice-breaker too…

However, those comforting instances of recognition, like “Ah, it’s Kate,” soften the transition when you say, “Alright, everyone,” and introduce your ideas. I believe our primary goal was to involve them in the discussion, make them feel a sense of ownership, and ensure they were part of the whole situation…

Hey everyone, don’t forget about Kate, right? Shall we catch up with her later on, Dad?”

In a situation that I’ve personally experienced with my own family not too long ago, I’ve seen the consequences when something isn’t done correctly. And I was part of dealing with those aftermath and repercussions.

In the year 2009, Rio got married to Rebecca, who he had first met when they were both 21 years old. He proposed to her during a visit to Las Vegas back in 2007, which was a year after the birth of Lorenz. The beautiful wedding ceremony took place on Peter Island, preceded by his proposal.

After her heartbreaking passing, he issued a statement saying: ‘Last night, my cherished partner left us. Rebecca, my beloved spouse, lost her fight against cancer at the Royal Marsden Hospital in London, after a brief struggle.’

She was an exceptional, nurturing mother to our three charming kids. Her absence will be deeply felt as a spouse, sibling, aunt, daughter, and granddaughter. She will continue to reside in our memories as a guiding light and source of inspiration.

We, together with my parents Janice and Julian, as well as Rebecca’s parents Lesley and Stephen, wish to express our gratitude to our families, friends, and club companions for the support they have shown us during these challenging times.

In a conversation on Blended, Rio expressed thoughts about grief and guilt, stating: ‘It’s quite normal to experience feelings of guilt. To be honest, I rarely left home much…’

Feeling a heavy burden, even a simple commute to work triggers guilt. Every moment spent away from my three little ones, I find myself thinking, “I can’t abandon them.” The thought lingers…

Going to school for them is an absolute advantage, since there are opportunities for doing other things during those hours. However, it becomes challenging when they return home, as I strive to be present, but occasionally work demands my absence from home.

It feels like an intense internal struggle, but remember, self-care is crucial. People often say that children are more resilient than we might believe.

In my commitment to their wellbeing, I’ve come to realize that constantly wrapping them in a bubble of safety and striving for an ideal environment isn’t beneficial for their growth in the long term. Instead, it’s crucial to allow them to face challenges and learn from experiences, even if it means some discomfort or uncertainty.

It seems your absence from home at times has them wondering, but since they understand that you’ll return eventually, I believe this temporary separation could ultimately benefit them over time.

At that instant, it seems difficult to accept that and truly acknowledge the circumstance, as one’s initial response is to feel remorseful. Does that make sense to you?

While going on dates might seem counterintuitive during this transitional period, I believe they can be beneficial. These outings serve as personal time away from parenting responsibilities, allowing your thoughts to stray beyond being a dad and focusing on the children’s next steps. Instead, they provide an opportunity for self-discovery and relaxation.

You seem to be moving away from that topic, but let me assure you that…

Instead of going out with friends or even considering a date, I’ve been feeling weighed down, as if an excessive burden is resting on my shoulders. It’s quite a struggle, to be honest.

It seems like you’re preoccupied with worry most of the time, constantly fretting about various things. Sometimes, while observing your children peering out a window, you find yourself wondering what might be going through their minds, and this thought can be quite overwhelming for you.

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2025-07-03 18:35

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