Materialists

Ever since its premiere on June 13, there’s been a lot of debate about whether Materialists falls under the genre of romantic comedy or reflects contemporary dating realities more accurately. Additionally, some have questioned how authentically it portrays the profession of matchmaking, which is central to the storyline. After all, who could provide better insights into love, dating, and matchmaking than actual professionals in this field? The traditional role of matchmakers remains vibrant in New York City. In an effort to gain a deeper understanding, we’ve gathered a team of five matchmakers—who help singles find the true love that romantic comedies promise—to share their thoughts on how accurately filmmaker Celine Song has depicted their work in her new movie.

In the movie titled Materialists, Lucy (portrayed by Dakota Johnson) is a professional matchmaker. Interestingly, this job concept originates from the film’s director’s personal experience as a matchmaker herself. The story begins with Lucy having made her ninth successful match. She has strong convictions about what constitutes a good partnership, but these ideas are challenged when she becomes entangled in a love triangle involving wealthy financier Harry (Pedro Pascal) and her former lover, John (Chris Evans), who works as an actor and caterer. As one of Lucy’s arranged dates turns sour, she starts questioning whether it might be wise to step away from this profession entirely.

To discuss various perspectives on the topic of Materialists, we consulted five influential figures within the dating scene: Bonnie Winston (Bonnie Winston Matchmaker), Maria Avgitidis (Agape Match), Liana Bell (BOND), Erin Butler (Dateable), and Samantha Daniels (Samantha’s Table). We posed questions about their views on the movie, modern dating, and their insights into success as a matchmaker, the role of money in relationships, and unexpected actions potential partners have taken to gain an advantage. Their responses are presented below.

TIME: Do you think Lucy is a good matchmaker? Why or why not?

As I embarked on this journey, I found myself mirroring Lucy in many ways – seeking my own romantic endeavors amidst assisting others in theirs. My novel, ‘Matchbook’, chronicles this phase of my life. Yet, it’s not always easy to juggle one’s personal love life while aiding others in finding theirs. Over time, the demands started taking a toll on me, affecting my performance and effectiveness.

Liana Bell: It’s clear that she managed to meet the client’s expectations, yet perhaps not their underlying needs. I believe Lucy excels in mathematical aspects, however, her true strength lies in creativity, which comes more from intuition rather than statistics. As Lucy grew and gained more experience, she realized that the checklist approach was not effective. Just like the character in the film suggests, love is straightforward when it’s kept simple, but we’ve made it overly complicated with a long list of requirements.

Bonnie Winston: I truly believe she’s an effective matchmaker because she serves as a symbol of hope. Her clients are seeking love, and despite their doubts, she maintains her faith. Regardless of the situation in life, having someone who believes in you can significantly change your outlook.

In my perspective: I firmly believe in pouring my emotions into my clients, being diligent and caring towards them. These qualities are crucial. Yet, Lucy seems to advocate for drastic physical changes such as invasive height-enhancing surgeries, which I find questionable in the realm of matchmaking. To me, what truly makes matchmaking successful is dedication and emotional intelligence rather than quick fixes.

Maria Avgitidis: I find it unbelievable that she’s being considered for a promotion given her actions. There are things she does that I wouldn’t do or tolerate from my employees. For instance, she fraternizes with clients, which is unprofessional and inappropriate. Moreover, her note-taking methods during matches are concerning. When I saw the notes she took on a man who assaulted his date, I thought she should be terminated immediately. Her notes were brief, containing only quantitative information like age and income. We extensively write essays for each potential client to present our case effectively. I wouldn’t set up a match with a client if they weren’t completely enthusiastic about it. Additionally, she stalks the matches, which is a violation of privacy and could lead to legal consequences. Her actions require termination and potentially pressing charges.

Lucy mentions that burnout is common for matchmakers—what is it about the job that’s so draining?

This job presentation in Hollywood movies might resemble burnout: Well, I wouldn’t necessarily label it as burnout, but this job is unique. It involves dealing with people’s deepest aspirations and apprehensions, which can be incredibly challenging. When the effort you put in doesn’t yield the expected results or when you encounter obstacles that seem insurmountable, it can be disheartening. Furthermore, since you don’t have control over how others behave, it adds to the difficulty.

Winston: For me, burnout isn’t an issue because I have a team who handles various tasks. Our Director of Client Relations, for example, manages our clients’ dates. I am deeply passionate about what I do. I felt the same way even when I wasn’t getting paid, and my enthusiasm hasn’t waned since then. I made my first match at 16 years old. My schedule is similar to that of a clergyperson; my clients know they can reach me seven days a week, anytime. In essence, I function as a coach, mother, sister, and matchmaker.

Speaking as a seasoned businessperson: With over two decades in the industry under my belt, I’ve learned that entering this field comes with significant responsibility. Early on, I sought advice from matchmakers who have since moved on. They warned me about the immense pressure that accompanies this role – people are entrusting their aspirations and expectations to me. To strike a balance, I strive to maintain a professional demeanor while fostering personal connections with my clients, aiming to be their trusted friend and confidant. It’s an intricate dance between the two that keeps things interesting.

One significant issue facing our industry is burnout. It leads to remarkably high turnover rates. The sheer number of clients to manage and tasks to complete can indeed cause burnout for many individuals.

How much vetting is there with matches? It’s impossible, like Lucy’s boss suggests after her client is assaulted, to know how people will act in an intimate setting. 

Bell: We’re dealing with dating, where there’s always some level of uncertainty. Even though we thoroughly screen, conduct interviews, and gauge their personality, as the film illustrates, you can’t predict exactly how someone will behave on a date. The scenario in the movie is possible, unfortunately, but I haven’t experienced it in my 10-year span.

Butler: We have steps that include checks on identity and verification. Before presenting a client, we employ a method called “blind vetting,” which means we learn about someone’s preferences, history, and requirements beforehand. Although we use indicators of character and warning signs to exclude certain individuals, we encourage clients to follow safety measures universally, as it is impossible to predict behavior in an intimate setting, as everyone’s actions can be unpredictable.

Winston: Nothing similar to that event has ever transpired in our case. We may not be detectives, but we carry out fundamental background verifications. It’s advisable for everyone, regardless of whether they’re meeting someone online or through a matchmaker, to do the same. Safety should always be a priority. The simplest method is to search someone’s first and last name on Google followed by “plaintiff” to check if they are involved in any lawsuits.

In Avgitidis’ words: We thoroughly screen and build close relationships with our clients. Lucy’s supervisor claims assault is common in our line of work. I, myself, am a matchmaker with almost two decades of experience. I’m part of an exceptional, professional circle of fellow matchmakers. I can’t recall anyone who’s gone through such an incident.

Daniels: A significant aspect of our service involves carefully selecting matches and ensuring the individual’s values align properly. We want to confirm their integrity, as there should be no negative publicity or concerns about them. If we discover anything questionable, whether it’s related to reputation or an intuitive feeling, I wouldn’t recommend introducing my client to that person.

Lucy talks a lot about what makes a good match, particularly similar family backgrounds, economic status, etc. Does money play a large role in finding the right match? 

In my book titled “Ask A Matchmaker”, I discuss the fundamental aspects of compatibility, which include financial, physical, spiritual, intellectual, and emotional. The formula for financial compatibility is a blend of how you prioritize your time expenditure and your money spending habits; this combination essentially defines one’s lifestyle. It’s essential to note that wealth alone does not guarantee a lasting relationship, as I have encountered clients who are billionaires but still end up divorced because they hold different values.

On one occasion, one of my clients shared with me that she had gone through a divorce. I inquired about the reasons behind it. She explained, “You see, during our trip to Paris, there was a disagreement over travel preferences – I preferred a private jet, while he opted for business class. As for accommodations, I wanted a penthouse suite at the Ritz-Carlton, while he preferred a local hostel experience. Our lifestyle choices were so disparate, yet we both had the means to afford either.

Daniels expresses a view contrary to the idea that opposites attract. Instead, he believes it’s crucial for people to share many commonalities, which could stem from factors like shared background, upbringing, education, or value system. While money might seem important to some, he argues that it’s not what truly matters in forming relationships.

As a movie enthusiast, I find myself catering to an exclusive clientele – high-net-worth individuals who are accustomed to having their desires fulfilled. These clients have lofty expectations and specific tastes, but what sets them apart is their unique preferences. Some of these wealthy women aren’t seeking a partner based on financial compatibility because they have the resources themselves; instead, they value respect and shared chemistry above all else.

Men might prefer younger partners for starting a family and may not require a partner with a similar billionaire income status. However, it’s important to note that the clients I work with come from various financial backgrounds. Each one has unique dating preferences, as individual as snowflakes. One of my clients, in particular, is sapiosexual – they find intelligence incredibly attractive.

As a passionate advocate, I can affirm that financial security matters deeply to many individuals. It’s a concern that resonates widely due to its connection with survival and well-being. Even successful female clients may harbor past experiences where their success was met with unease by some men. Our role, therefore, is to assist these individuals in addressing and correcting their financial concerns, as understanding and navigating these reasons are crucial aspects of our profession.

Bell: What I’m referring to can be measured in weight, and factors like socioeconomic status contribute, but in my opinion, culture has a significantly larger impact. In the movie we’re discussing, the characters were assessed primarily based on their earnings, which is why it’s called Materialists. However, I don’t think income is the primary factor, especially not for men.

What challenges has the rise of dating apps created for the matchmaking process?

Avgitidis’ perspective: Online dating apps have allowed individuals in relationships to abstain from dating, implying that dating was never intended to be a solitary pursuit. I often ponder over my grandmother, who served as a matchmaker during turbulent times such as war, famine, and civil unrest in Greece; she was still pairing people up. People would visit her home daily, enjoying good coffee while exchanging gossip, which was a form of matchmaking. Family and friends would interfere, too. However, this sense of community is lost in the digital age of dating apps.

Winston: It’s been a blessing for me since people seem to be fed up with applications. They dislike endless scrolling, messaging, and sexting, only to end up feeling let down by deceit. Consequently, it’s worked out quite well for me!

20 years back, when I launched my matchmaking service, most individuals preferred to keep their dating life private. The question was often, “Why would you need a matchmaker?” Nowadays, everyone seems to be on a dating app, and matchmaking is seen as the luxury, high-end option compared to those apps. It’s almost fashionable these days for people to mention that they aren’t using dating apps.

Bell: The novelty of using apps is decreasing as people are already spending too much time on screens. Instead of downloading another app for more ghosting and swiping with diminishing rewards, there’s a key aspect that dating apps lack – recognizing vibe matches. For me, vibes and energy are essential parts of the process, something that an algorithm can’t detect accurately.

What does Materialists get right about matchmaking?

Winston pointed out that the movie had an inaccurate portrayal of unrealistic expectations regarding age. For instance, there was an older man who desired a woman of 27 years old. In his own experience, he encountered a 72-year-old gentleman seeking children. When Winston suggested a match with a 50-year-old woman who had eggs, the 72-year-old man considered her too old! Such was the absurdity of their demands.

Avgitidis: The initial scene in the film where characters rapidly recite numbers feels incredibly realistic. Indeed, it mirrors real-life situations!

As a seasoned film critic, let me share my thoughts on this intriguing piece. Age, indeed, plays a significant role in the narrative. It’s fascinating to witness characters who draw lines based on age, such as the fellow who considers 30s acceptable but 39 is already 40, or the gentleman rigidly refusing to date anyone over 27. Lucy’s baffled expression perfectly encapsulates the collective disbelief we feel.

The filmmakers have effectively captured the obsession with quantifiable metrics, and if I had the power, I would certainly make age a non-issue. It often leads people astray, clouding their judgement about what truly matters. Kudos to the creators for accurately portraying this aspect of human nature.

Bell’s statement emphasizes the challenges faced by matchmakers when dealing with clients who have unrealistic expectations. This is likened to the experience of visiting Build-a-Bear, where people anticipate a certain outcome that doesn’t always materialize. The film highlights both the difficulties and the rewarding connections that can be formed through this process, while also maintaining an enjoyable and lighthearted tone.

Daniels expresses that the story reveals a strong desire for love in people. This becomes evident through Lucy’s personal journey seeking love, as well as others eagerly approaching her, demonstrating a fervent longing to connect with someone. Love remains relevant, and people continue to yearn deeply for it.

What does Materialists get wrong about matchmaking?

Winston: Everyone fits into certain character types for a story to unfold. If we depicted average individuals, it would result in a bland film. In my line of work, I select people who are genuinely kind and yearn for love, but that wouldn’t create an engaging movie plot.

Daniels: They seem to underestimate it quite a bit. I believe it’s challenging to portray in a film, except maybe in a documentary, the intricacy and comprehensive nature of the business. Many people assume it’s casually simple, but it’s not. There’s a methodology involved.

Avgitidis: Lucy doesn’t seem connected to a community. She doesn’t appear to have any friends. However, I’m quite fond of facilitating relationships. That’s basically what I do for a living. In fact, many of my team members have been in this line of work for more than a decade. We were looking forward to this movie as it could provide some validation, but we ended up feeling let down. It’s just that the community aspect and the building of connections weren’t addressed effectively.

At Tawkify, where Celine Song was employed, functioned as a larger-scale dating service with numerous clients. In contrast, Agape manages just 15 clients concurrently. Given this discrepancy, they primarily discuss figures instead of engaging in lengthy discussions. However, the movie forgoes the personal touch often associated with matchmaking. A single scene where a client labeled Lucy as a pimp left Celine feeling dejected and tears streamed down her face. This incident marked a rare moment of discomfort during her almost two-decade career as a matchmaker.

Bell’s Viewpoint: The film refers to a commonly used term in our field, “Unicorn.” In my opinion, this term is more of an empty phrase. I believe that everyone is extraordinary and unique in their own right. To me, every individual is like a unicorn.

In a different context: Butler opines that height might not be as big a deal in movies as portrayed, yet it may psychologically affect men. Men tend to perceive their height as an obstacle, but most women I interact with prefer someone who is taller or around the same height. Interestingly, only about 20% of these women express genuine concern over height.

In simpler terms, it seems they make the financial situation easier to manage. Ultimately, she’ll be alright due to her upcoming promotion and her partner’s increased effort. However, the notion that one must opt for a shallow, loveless life versus love accompanied by poverty appears unrealistic.

One of the surprising details in Materialists is a surgery that can add up to 6 inches in height. Do you have any stories about the wild things clients have done to improve their odds? 

Winston: I dated a woman who was somewhat heavier, but we faced complications. Interestingly, even men with similar body types preferred slimmer partners. After she started using Ozempic, a weight loss medication, our lunch three months later revealed a 35-pound weight loss. This transformation opened up new dating opportunities for her. In the past, it might have been cosmetic surgeries like rhinoplasty or lip fillers that were trendy, but now, it seems weight loss injectables are taking center stage in the dating world.

Butler: To be honest, I’m not observing that particular phenomenon. I haven’t noticed an increase in people rushing for surgeries. However, social media often presents a competitive environment that can be quite distressing due to constant comparison. With the prevalence of apps and the swipe culture, people tend to focus heavily on their appearance.

One method to enhance your chances could be by boosting your ability to understand and share the feelings of others. For instance, if I detect that a client seems closed-minded or conservative, I might suggest they read two fictional books. If they comply, their viewpoint often shifts. Reading fiction, particularly when it’s authored by a woman, can provide a unique perspective from a character. This practice helps construct the foundations of empathy, making you more appealing and understanding to others.

Daniels expressed discomfort about the six-inch reference, feeling it was somewhat mocking of the process. He suggested removing the entire segment altogether. Daniels has noticed instances where individuals opt for cosmetic surgeries like eye lifts or Botox before starting a relationship, and he believes this is a choice to present the most appealing version of themselves.

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2025-06-18 19:07