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Strictly’s Shirley Ballas honours late brother David with moving tattoo tribute – 21 years after his tragic death

BBG News

Shirley Ballas has honoured her late brother David with a new tattoo in his memory. 

Back in 2003, at the age of 44, the brother of a Strictly Come Dancing judge took his own life. This well-known ballroom dancer, now aged 64, has previously shared candidly about his battles with depression.

On Saturday, Shirley shared a touching tribute on Instagram, posting pictures of her recent significant tattoos with her followers.

The tattoo features the first and second initials of David’s name, along with his surname, ‘Rich’. 

Beaming for the camera, Shirley proudly held up her arm to show the new design on her forearm. 

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Shirley, participating in Tal Booker’s 24-hour tattoo event to aid suicide prevention organization CALM, shared this message: “A tattoo dedicated to my brother… Thank you, @talbooker ❤️.

She commented: ‘I’m grateful to be the second tattoo of 24 in your #TattooMarathon. You can contribute any amount to Tal’s Tattoo-A-Thon through this link: https://ig.me/1P135QkPQwBjxQv, or by clicking the link in my profile bio. Each contribution makes a difference. Sending hugs. X’

Last December, Shirley admitted that she feels responsible for her brother’s loneliness on the day he passed away as she had urged her mother to attend a performance where her son was performing, preventing her from being with her brother.

On the Great Company with Jamie Laing podcast, Shirley shared a personal story about her brother who was dealing with mental health issues. Previously, the family had attempted to have him admitted involuntarily (sectioned), but he refused to go to the hospital.

At that point, she found herself deeply engrossed in her daily routine as she was looking after not one but three children – her son included, who were all passionate about dance. Furthermore, she was immersed in the realm of ballroom dancing.

While I was in London, he was located further north. During that time, my mother chose to visit him for a period of six weeks. However, it’s worth noting that my mother is quite private and prefers not to share her experiences with others.

Looking back, I realize that I should have immediately obtained a vehicle and went to assess the situation personally, as he was in a difficult position at the time.

He described it as feeling trapped in an endless, dark abyss, from which there seemed to be no escape. His health had significantly deteriorated, and medical professionals were unable to provide him with effective treatment.

We attempted to have him admitted for psychiatric evaluation, but when it seemed I wasn’t present, my mother was instead. When they drove him to the hospital, he spotted someone on the steps who was known in our neighborhood as a tough guy. This made him feel ashamed, and he convinced them to reverse the car.

If she hadn’t been present on that particular day, perhaps the outcome might have been altered. However, conversations of such nature were rarely had. In fact, they never discussed matters like that, and instead, they would simply provide medications such as antidepressants.

Shirley reminisced about the time when her son, Mark, was showcasing his talents at St. Paul’s in London. She extended an invitation to her mother and brother, asking them to join her for the day to witness Mark’s performance.

At that moment, David was residing with his mother. However, despite not wanting to go, Shirley persuaded her mom to venture out on her own.

Shirley mentioned that despite her mother not wanting to, she persuaded her and now carries the consequence of that decision for the remainder of her life.

She recounted: “That particular morning is etched in my memory. I phoned my mother to share that my child, Mark, was set to perform at St. Paul’s Church in London. Perhaps they’d both enjoy spending the day there.

As a lifestyle expert, I found myself in a situation where my sibling was under the weather, and he assured me, “No, no, no, no, I’m feeling significantly improved now.” However, with a mix of concern and reluctance, my mother decided not to comply with his wishes, saying, “Go ahead, dear. And despite her instincts telling her otherwise, she opted not to join us.

Additionally, I encouraged her slightly to leave since she had already been there before, struggling significantly. However, David wasn’t keen on going, and ultimately, they decided to act upon it.

Consequently, I’ll carry this burden for the remainder of my days. She harbors self-reproach, yet so do I, as it was I who urged her to depart. In her eyes, she ought not to have gone away.

Later that evening, Shirley attempted to reach David but couldn’t connect, so she contacted his ex-partner instead. Upon doing so, they went over to his house and discovered him there.

She mentioned: ‘He had a 10-year-old daughter. That evening, I wasn’t able to reach him, so I contacted his former spouse instead. She visited the house and it was she who discovered him there, along with her own child.’

Years after our shared sorrow over her parents’ untimely demise due to alcohol-related complications, Mary found herself under our guardianship. But amidst the hardships and heartaches, she emerged as a beacon of strength and resilience in my eyes. To me, she is nothing short of a hero.

Among all the people I know, she stands out the most. She works for the NHS and, in my opinion, she’s one of the most exceptional individuals I have ever encountered. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, like some might do, she faces challenges head-on by accepting them as they are. Of course, it’s not easy. But that’s life. And I aspire to be like her.

I aspire to live a brief life and become someone who is not bothered by this individual at any point in their existence. Since my brother took care of her during her initial ten years, I believe he did an excellent job.

Shirley has gained significantly more knowledge about mental health matters and consistently takes the time to reach out to friends she hasn’t spoken to for a while, just to see how they are doing.

She stated: “It doesn’t have to stay like that, though. You understand now, right? As I’ve become more educated, what made Strictly so wonderful for me is the job itself, but also the opportunity it provides to assist people. Sometimes we get too engrossed in our personal lives, but if a friend falls silent or I sense someone might be having trouble, I drop everything and make an effort to reach out and check on them.

And it seems to me that we should pay closer attention, focusing more on hearing what others are expressing rather than talking excessively.

‘You realize, a “gob” refers to someone from the northern regions. They tend to talk excessively about themselves and seldom pause to listen to others.’

It appears we’re entering a time where individuals are becoming more communal. To put it simply, I now serve as an ambassador for Calm. Recently, I’ve encountered numerous people, some of whom have experienced tragic losses – for instance, friends who’ve lost their daughter in her early 30s, which is heart-wrenching.

In various circles, I’ve encountered numerous individuals who have been impacted by this issue. Whether it’s a friend, relative, or even a child, it seems to be more widespread than people might realize at first glance. I believe that if we could all communicate better and offer support to each other a bit more often, it would make a significant difference. Let’s take a moment to breathe together.

As I get older, I’ve found it helpful to pause and catch my breath every now and then. It gives me a moment to appreciate the world around me.

Should this tale resonate with you personally, feel free to reach out to the Samaritans at 116 123, or pay a visit to their website: www.samaritans.org for support and guidance when needed.

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2025-06-07 22:19

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