32 Hilarious Comebacks from Bill Murray’s Iconic Characters

Among Saturday Night Live’s most illustrious stars, a standout comedic actor who has left an indelible mark on entertainment, and a frequent collaborator of Wes Anderson, Bill Murray stands alone in many respects. With his distinctive facial expressions, biting wit, and unique way with words, Murray has consistently delivered one laugh-out-loud moment after another to audiences.

Throughout my career, I’ve been known for creating characters that dish out some of the sharpest, most scorching comebacks. You might want to summon the fire department after hearing these! Here are 32 instances where one of my characters delivered a fiercely witty retort.

“This Is One Time Where Television Really Fails To Capture The True Excitement Of A Large Squirrel Predicting The Weather. I, For One, Am Very Grateful To Have Been Here.” (Groundhog Day)

It can be argued that Phil Connors is one of Bill Murray’s grumpiest, most cynical, and most sarcastic roles yet, especially when you delve into his portrayal of the Groundhog Day celebration. His wit, contempt, and hidden cruelty in his speech are sharp enough to slice through steel.

“Weird Name, Good Luck With That” (Ghostbusters: Afterlife)

In the movie “Ghostbusters: Afterlife” released in the 2020s, the original Ghostbusters, led by Peter Venkman (played by Bill Murray), made a memorable return to the big screen. While their comeback brought on a wave of nostalgia, Peter’s quip about the family of Egon Spengler, who had passed away, was particularly humorous. When meeting them for the first time, he delivered an amusing “Weird name” comment that truly hit the spot.

“Honey, How Many Fingers Does Mrs. Santa Claus Have Here?” (Scrooged)

Scrooged, a film set in the ’80s yuppie culture, serves as an engaging modernization of A Christmas Carol. Here, Bill Murray portrays Frank Cross, an abysmal TV executive, sibling, romantic partner, boss, and individual, who exhibits appalling behavior. Despite his deplorable nature, Frank delivers some unforgettable insults, such as this cutting remark when presented with a Santa drawing by a young child. It’s ruthless!

“Janine, Someone With Your Qualifications Would Have No Trouble Finding A Top-Flight Job In Either The Food Service Or Housekeeping Industries.” (Ghostbusters)

The relationship between Janine (Annie Potts) and Peter Venkman in the film “Ghostbusters” is one of its most subtle yet engaging aspects. Their back-and-forth dialogue is captivating, as exemplified by a witty remark that the Ghostbuster delivers to his secretary, who plays an instrumental role in the movie despite not receiving much recognition.

“Was I Talking Out Loud? Was I? Sorry. Good Luck.” (Kingpin)

In this superb ’90s sports comedy movie, “Kingpin” stands out due to its unique twist: the protagonist suffers defeat, and it showcases an eccentric performance by Bill Murray as Ernie McCracken. This two-faced, deceitful, cunning antagonist is rich in witty dialogue, such as the line he delivers before betraying Woody Harrelson’s character, Roy Munson.

“Have You Tried Staples?” (Scrooged)

In the movie Scrooged, there’s a moment where character Bill Murray as Frank Cross queries a crew member about using staples to attach antlers onto a mouse’s head, which certainly seems bizarre. It’s important to remember that prior to his arrival on scene, the individual was attempting to glue the props to the rodent’s head instead.

“Back Off, Man. I’m A Scientist” (Ghostbusters)

In the movie “Ghostbusters” from 1984, Peter Venkman delivers one witty remark after another. One of his most memorable lines comes early on, when he engages a librarian in a question-and-answer session that borders on impropriety. However, it’s up to you to decide whether Venkman’s parting shot to the librarian is the epitome of good manners or the pinnacle of rudeness.

“You’re Not Gonna Get A Green Card With That Attitude, Pal” (Ghostbusters II)

Watching the banter between Peter Venkman and Dr. Janosz Poha, portrayed by Peter MacNicol, in Ghostbusters II never loses its charm. This is particularly true when they engage in their verbal sparring near the haunted portrait of Vigo the Carpathian, and Venkman delivers the iconic “green card” line. It’s a classic!

“Never In My Wildest Imagination Did I Ever Dream I’d Have Sons Like These” (Rushmore)

Among unforgettable unsavory characters in Wes Anderson films, none rival the harsh and distasteful Herman Blume, portrayed by Bill Murray. His industrialist persona, often struggling with fatherhood, is filled with memorable scenes, particularly those revolving around his children.

“People Like Blood Sausage, Too. People Are Morons” (Groundhog Day)

Phil Connors’ witty insults, such as calling people “morons,” in the film “Groundhog Day” elevate an already fantastic movie to legendary status. It’s sharp remarks like these that make Bill Murray’s portrayal of the weatherman an indelible character.

“It’s Gonna Be Cold, It’s Gonna Be Gray, And It’s Gonna Last The Rest Of Your Life” (Groundhog Day)

Phil Connors is straightforward with his speech, which, considering his grumpiness and general dislike for many aspects of life, makes him a reasonable individual (ignoring those characteristics). In delivering his perspective on life, or perhaps a weather forecast, he delivers an iconic line from the movie Groundhog Day.

“Do Me A Favor, Will You? Would You Mind Washing Off That Perfume Before You Come Back To Our Table?” (Kingpin)

Ernie McCracken is undeniably one of the most obnoxious characters ever to grace the sports comedy genre, with Shooter McGavin appearing almost amiable in comparison. This is particularly evident in the diner scene from “Kingpin,” where he ruthlessly berates a waitress. Was he incorrect? Perhaps not, but his approach to criticizing her perfume selection was undoubtedly misguided.

“Because I Hate Fathers, And I Never Wanted To Be One” (Life Aquatic)

In the movie “The Life Aquatic,” Steve Zissou’s sentiment about having kids being a mistake can be seen as an instance where candidness backfires, or “When Honesty Goes Too Far.” While it’s understandable to feel that way, expressing it by stating that they were a mistake was quite a bold and potentially hurtful choice.

“Mike, I Really Appreciate You’re Doing This, But It Is Just For The Money, Isn’t It? It’s Not Just So You Can Wear These Little Outfits?” (Tootsie)

In the 1982 film “Tootsie,” Bill Murray’s character Jeff Slater, who shares a residence with Dustin Hoffman’s character Michael Dorsey, stands out as one of the more down-to-earth personalities. And when it comes to expressing things straightforwardly, he excels at that too. One of the finest examples of this is the scene where Jeff challenges Michael’s fixation on transforming into Dorothy Michaels.

“Why Haven’t You Learned How To Button A Coat?” (Scrooged)

In the delightful comedy “Scrooged,” I found myself squirming as Claire Phillips (Karen Allen) endured Frank Cross’s verbal barrage. One particularly absurd and side-splitting instance occurred when Frank, in a fit of sarcasm, lashed out about winter clothing. Bill Murray, in the lead role, expertly delivered this scene with a hilarious twist on outerwear that left me laughing out loud.

“Ned [Punches Ned In The Face]?” (Groundhog Day)

Among the memorable encounters between Phil Connors (Bill Murray) and Ned Ryerson (Stephen Tobolowsky) in the movie “Groundhog Day“, one particular scene leaves a lasting impression. During his darkest period, an angry Phil delivers a surprising punch to the irritating character, setting this scene apart.

“’It Is What It Is’? Everyone’s Saying That Now. You Know What It Means? You’re Screwed, And You Shall Remain Screwed.” (St. Vincent)

Among the cranky characters portrayed by Bill Murray, the main character in “St. Vincent” stands out as one of the grumpiest. When he hears the often-used phrase “It is what it is,” his reaction is fitting, though I wouldn’t be the one receiving his response.

“Try To Make It Sound Like You Wrote It That Way On Purpose.” (The French Dispatch)

Among Wes Anderson’s finest works, “The French Dispatch” is a compilation of short stories, serving as the last issue of the eponymous news magazine. Interspersed among these longer pieces are numerous scenes featuring editor Arthur Howitzer Jr., played by Bill Murray. One particularly amusing instance occurs when Howitzer delivers a blunt yet sincere evaluation to one of his writers, instructing them to make their errors appear as if they were intentionally included.

“Would You Please… For The Love Of God And Your Own Body… Stop The Hammering?” (Scrooged)

In the movie “Scrooged,” Frank Cross isn’t typically loud, but when he shouted about the set disturbance, it was extraordinary. The subtle pauses, the intense facial expressions, and the over-the-top tone of his voice made it stand out. It was spot on.

“There Are Two Types Of People In This World: Those Who Like Neil Diamond, And Those Who Don’t.” (What About Bob?)

What About Bob?” is a movie that keeps you on the edge of your seat, which adds to its unique appeal. One reason for this is Bill Murray’s performance as the anxious, compulsive, and somewhat eccentric character, Bob Wiley. The scene where he uses the “Neil Diamond” line to put down an ex and reference “Sweet Caroline” singer, is a perfect example of his character.

“Oh, Creepy! I’m Sorry. You Know, For The First Couple Years, I Felt Responsible. How You Been Otherwise?” (Kingpin)

In the movie “Kingpin,” Ernie McCracken’s reaction to Roy Munson’s fake hand, which was significantly affected due to his actions, is incredibly amusing, sincere, and extravagant. Although he acknowledges his part in the situation, Ernie falls just short of fully accepting blame for it.

“She Doesn’t Have Any Friends.” (Moonrise Kingdom)

As a movie critic, I found Walt Bishop’s (Bill Murray) stern words towards his daughter, played by Kara Hayward, in “Moonrise Kingdom” to be rather harsh, even though he wasn’t entirely off the mark about her social activities. However, it was quite a shocking display of frustration that added an unexpected edge to the film.

“Just Remember, They Can Buy Anything But They Can’t Buy Backbone. Don’t Let Them Forget It.” (Rushmore)

In the film “Rushmore,” character Frank Cross frequently targets the privileged youth, delivering a passionate monologue about the wealthy elite. Despite his own wealth portrayed in the movie, Frank’s sentiment holds true – money can’t buy what they lack: a sense of conviction or backbone.

“Don’t Cry In My Office.” (The French Dispatch)

The scene where Arthur Howitzer asks his staff to hold back their tears in his office after revealing his cancer diagnosis in the 2021 Wes Anderson film is undeniably heartfelt. Although the character may come off as harsh, he’s essentially correct.

“You’re Short, Your Bellybutton Sticks Out Too Far, And You’re A Terrible Burden On Your Poor Mother.” (Ghostbusters II)

In the movie “Ghostbusters II”, Baby Oscar experiences quite an ordeal before the end. Yet, getting kidnapped by a ghost for Vigo the Carpathian’s sinister purposes is nothing compared to being humiliated by Peter Venkman. Frankly, it’s tough to recover from such public embarrassment.

“Yeah, You Get To Treat ‘Em Bad On The Way Back Down Too. It’s Great, You Get Two Chances To Rough ‘Em Up.” (Scrooged)

In the movie “Scrooged,” character Frank Cross disregards his family’s criticisms of his lifestyle. The moment when he advises his brother against being unkind towards others, despite it being harsh, is simply captivating. It’s indeed harsh, but incredibly entertaining to observe.

“You Went In There To Get A Date And Came Out With A Dog. That’s Bad Even For You.” (Garfield: The Movie)

In Garfield: The Movie, it’s me (Jon Arbuckle) who’s on the receiving end of some hilariously scathing remarks from Bill Murray’s cat character. But let me tell you, nothing quite compares to the time that lasagna-loving feline ridiculed me for bringing home a dog! Bark, bark!

“I’m Sorry. You Know I Thought You Were Richard Pryor!” (Scrooged)

I couldn’t resist using this line from Frank Cross in “Scrooged” – it’s one of his most memorable quotes! When Bill Murray’s character believes the waiter is on fire, he promptly douses him with a bucket of water. This action is reminiscent of an incident involving Richard Pryor, who once accidentally caught himself on fire while engaging in an extracurricular activity.

“But I Don’t See Any Reason Why I Should Just Sit Here Pretending I’m Not Home, Just Because You’re Not That Kind Of Girl. Now, That’s Weird.” (Tootsie)

In the movie “Tootsie”, Michael Dorsey assumes numerous roles, so many that they become troublesome for his roommate, Jeff. At some point, Jeff expresses frustration over not having addressed his friend’s method acting earlier, eventually stating that he can no longer answer the phone because it’s inappropriate for “Dorothy Michaels” to have a male roommate.

“What A Lovely Singing Voice You Must Have.” (Ghostbusters)

In the movie Ghostbusters, when Peter Venkman faces a possessed Dana (Sigourney Weaver), he tries to diffuse the tension by joking about Zuul’s demonic tone. Although this isn’t the most unkind comment he makes in the film, it perfectly encapsulates his character.

“You Know I’m Not Big On Apologizing. So I’ll Just Skip It If It’s All The Same To You.” (Life Aquatic)

In The Life Aquatic, there are many memorable characters, yet some moments truly stand out. However, it’s important to acknowledge that Steve Zissou takes the cake, particularly when he tells Eleanor, played by Anjelica Huston, that he doesn’t do apologies. Granted, he eventually changes his mind, but that line (and the way it was delivered) is simply brilliant.

“Do You Have Any Regrets?” -“Garfield, Maybe.” (Zombieland)

Among the top-notch zombie apocalypse films (and undeniably one of the funniest), “Zombieland” boasts one of the greatest cameos ever, featuring Bill Murray appearing briefly as himself. A standout scene occurs when he’s questioned about regrets during his final moments, and he delivers a truly exceptional response…

2025-05-26 23:40