The Worst Movie Every Year Since 1970

It is said that nothing is certain in this world except death and taxes.

To which I would add a third thing: As long as there are movies, there will also be bad movies.

Perhaps you find that sitting through an extremely poor film can feel similar to the sensation of death itself, much like how tax payment might be. Consequently, if we’re being honest, both experiences seem equally unpleasant and unenjoyable, so it could be said they cancel each other out.

To verify my newly coined truth introduced in this article, examine the films mentioned below – each the poorest film of their respective years, spanning from 1970 to 2025. Identify the movie that was released during the year you were born. Tally up how many of these movies you’ve endured. Discover if the worst film you personally experienced is included on this list! Delay connecting with your dear ones for a brief moment longer!

I’ve been watching movies for over five decades, a mix of great, mediocre, and truly terrible ones. This collection features the very worst of them. It might not encompass every abysmal film from the past fifty years; since I could only choose one dreadful movie per year to include, many other poorly made films have been spared, like 2012’s contenders, as there was no chance anything else would rival “The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure.

As a dedicated cinephile, I’d like to share my annual rundown of the most disappointing films I’ve encountered each year, starting from 1970 and going right up to the present. Let’s dive in!

The Worst Movie Every Year Since 1970

1970: The Party at Kitty and Stud’s

Prior to achieving fame with the first Rocky movie, Sylvester Stallone faced financial hardship, even experiencing short spells of homelessness. To make ends meet, he accepted various acting roles, one of which was the poorly-received softcore film, The Party at Kitty and Stud’s. In this movie, Stallone portrayed “Stud.” Despite being largely ignored due to its poor quality and lack of sexual appeal, the film was later rebranded as Italian Stallion and re-released in an attempt to capitalize on Stallone’s growing popularity, offering a glimpse into Rocky’s, well, stallion. Stallone himself has referred to the movie as “terrible,” and his description might even be too kind.

1971: Octaman

Hey there! While cheesy monster flicks can have their own charm, let me tell you that Octaman is definitely not one of the good ones. It revolves around a man-octopus hybrid, or as I like to call it, an ‘octo-man’. This octo-man character takes on a group of non-octopus scientists in the movie. The film is so cheaply made that it was even featured in a RiffTrax live event. If you’re familiar with Octaman, then you know it provided them with plenty of laughable moments to riff on!

1972: Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny

In this low-budget film, a man dressed as Santa Claus with a questionable costume and an apparent lack of effort put into his role is the central figure. The storyline is weak, and the director resorts to using footage from an older movie for added scenes. In these new sequences, Santa’s sleigh gets stuck in the sandy beaches of Florida just before Christmas, causing him to fall asleep. He then uses his telepathic abilities to summon nearby children to assist him. The children are asked to find various animals, such as a horse, cow, and a person in a gorilla suit, to help pull Santa’s sleigh free. While the children labor, this Santa figure remains idle, using the time to impart lessons about courage by narrating the story of Jack and the Beanstalk. This movie is certainly not recommended for those seeking a pre-Christmas viewing experience.

1973: 3 Dev Adam

For Marvel enthusiasts: If you found Eternals disappointing, wait until you see 3 Dev Adam. This unauthorized Turkish superhero thriller features characters resembling Captain America, Spider-Man (though I’m not certain about his identity), and El Santo, a famous Mexican wrestler turned actor. In this film, Spider-Man is portrayed as the villain, aiming to control the Turkish underworld. It’s up to Captain America and Santo to thwart his plans. The movie strays so far from the brand that the depiction of Spider-Man seems more like a subpar Halloween costume. Marvel had no involvement in this production, nor did the real Santo (despite his battles against zombies, vampires, and other creatures in Mexican films). Yet, the film managed to become quite popular in Turkey. If 3 Dev Adam Spider-Man ever appears in a Spider-Verse, it will signify that franchise has taken a leap too far.

1974: The Nine Lives of Fritz the Cat

The original “Fritz the Cat” film might not have been particularly impressive initially, but it did boast Ralph Bakshi’s animation and a quirky sense of humor. Unfortunately, Bakshi wasn’t involved in the sequel, nor was R. Crumb, who created the Fritz the Cat comics. This is evident in the disorganized and unamusing nature of this film. It does hold significance as the first animated movie to ever receive an R rating. However, being notable doesn’t necessarily make it a good film.

1975: Mitchell

In simpler terms, the movie “This low-budget cop thriller starring Joe Don Baker” holds a legendary status in the history of poorly made films. It was featured in the final episode hosted by Joel during the original run of Mystery Science Theater 3000. It’s almost as if this cheesy thriller, with Joe Don Baker portraying a bumbling, beer-drinking cop on the brink, was specifically chosen for Joel’s goodbye. A fitting end, indeed! The phrase “Cedar lattice” can be used metaphorically to emphasize this point. Essentially, it means that this argument or fact always holds true. So, if you want to say it in a more conversational way, you could exclaim, “Mitchell!

1976: Snuff

The film titled “Snuff” was not a real snuff film, but it was misleadingly promoted as one to generate publicity at minimal cost. Remarkably, this strategy proved effective; the movie became popular in cinemas across the nation. In certain areas, it even sparked protests and investigations due to its controversial nature, given that producing a genuine snuff film is illegal. To clarify, “Snuff” was merely a piece of seedy fiction. Yet, consider this: Someone intentionally created a buzz for their movie by presenting it as an authentic portrayal of a murder. Imagine the uproar such a tactic would provoke today!

1977: The Van

1978: The Star Wars Holiday Special

As a film enthusiast, I can’t help but defend “Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker” against the casual criticism it often receives. To me, it seems more like the masterpiece that is “The Empire Strikes Back” compared to the infamous TV movie, “The Star Wars Holiday Special.” This CBS production was made in the gap between the original “Star Wars” release and the start of work on “The Empire Strikes Back.”

It’s a grueling 100 minutes filled with cringeworthy singing and dancing, unfunny slapstick humor, bizarre guest appearances (Art Carney? Bea Arthur?!?), and one relatively decent animated segment featuring the debut of Boba Fett. The film’s reputation for being terrible might be an understatement; it could very well be even worse.

Despite never officially being released on home video, the lore surrounding this production has only grown stronger over the years. Now, it’s become one of those shared pieces of pop culture that people use as a shorthand for something truly awful. If you say something is “as bad as The Star Wars Holiday Special,” you’re not just saying it’s bad – you’re implying it’s an abject embarrassment.

1979: Captain America

Discussing cringe-worthy moments: Check out how Captain America was outfitted in his 1970s film. The movie deviated from the traditional origins of Captain America, where his father served in World War II and earned the nickname “Captain America”. In this version, Steve Rogers is almost killed before he becomes a test subject for a serum that grants him super strength. He also receives a motorcycle with a removable windshield, which somewhat resembles his iconic shield, although I’m being generous in calling it cool. The entire concept was absurdly silly, but apparently, the 1970s audience had low standards, as this film was successful enough to spawn another just as unappealing sequel (with a catchy title): Captain America II: Death Too Soon.

1980: The Jazz Singer

In a new adaptation of an iconic early cinema landmark, Neil Diamond, famed for his exceptional musical prowess, takes on a role that some might question. He portrays a 40-year-old man who is still hung up on earning his father’s approval. Interestingly, Laurence Olivier is cast as an elderly Jewish cantor in this production.

Some may argue that Diamond is too old for the part, but age seems to be a minor issue when it comes to enjoying songs like “Love on the Rocks” and “America”. Despite some concerns about the overall casting, these timeless tunes remain a highlight of the film.

1981: Neighbors

In the 1980s, the duo of John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd was adored for their performances on Saturday Night Live and The Blues Brothers. However, they faltered with a catastrophic film in 1981. The peculiar decision to reverse their roles, with Belushi playing the straight man and Aykroyd becoming the wild party animal, set a perplexing stage for an array of eccentric characters that never once felt human or natural. To make matters worse, a plethora of other unconventional creative choices were layered on top, culminating in a score by Bill Conti (known for composing beautiful music for other films) that was arguably the worst I’ve ever heard. It’s saturated with slide whistles and theremins that accentuate every joke, making it feel like watching a movie accompanied by an atrocious improvisational performance from the worst marching band imaginable.

1982: Slapstick of Another Kind

Instead of continuing with your current tasks, take a moment to peruse this movie’s Wikipedia page. You might find yourself questioning if someone has tampered with the plot summary due to its absurdity. In actuality, the Wiki plot description may be understating the level of silliness and immorality. The film indeed features aliens, one of which is voiced by Orson Welles. Additionally, it includes a miniature Chinese ambassador portrayed by Pat Morita with an unusual, altered voice. Jerry Lewis and Madeline Kahn play a married couple, and their on-screen children, who are twins, sport prosthetic noses, ears, and foreheads while speaking in peculiar, unintelligible language. The twins possess telepathic abilities that require them to touch each other, which the film subtly explores as an incestuous subplot. This cinematic experience is truly unique!

1983: Smokey and the Bandit III

In simpler terms,

The third installment of “Smokey and the Bandit,” titled “Smokey Part 3,” might have been intentionally ruined to harm the franchise, much like how Bialystock and Bloom would do it. Unfortunately, Burt Reynolds’ iconic character, The Bandit, is barely present in this movie, appearing only for a brief cameo. To make matters worse, the filmmakers decided to change the antagonist, Sheriff Buford T. Justice, into the protagonist of the story. This is problematic because Jerry Reed’s character, Snowman, takes over as the Bandit. He drives the Bandit’s car, wears his clothes, hat, and sunglasses, and even attempts to imitate Reynolds’ behavior and speech. However, it’s unclear why Reed’s Snowman needs to impersonate The Bandit in order to fulfill their mission. It seems that the idea is that The Bandit annoys Justice so much that seeing him would disrupt Justice’s plan. But why not just have Jerry Reed play the Snowman and make him the one who irritates Justice? I suppose it’s because the movie is called “Smokey and the Bandit,” not “Smokey and the Snowman.

1984: Bolero

As a devoted cinephile, I’d rephrase that synopsis as follows:

In “Bolero,” I found myself following the journey of a young woman, who despite her striking resemblance to Bo Derek and immense wealth, struggles to find a suitable partner for her first time. This quest leads her on a global adventure where she encounters various romantic archetypes – an oil tycoon, a matador, among others. However, this film strays far from the realm of captivating cinema, even failing to deliver on the promises of good adult entertainment it seems to promise.

If reimagined cleverly, this story could make for an amusing comedy with a comedian like Kristen Wiig in the lead role. Unfortunately, Bo Derek, who lacks a self-deprecating sense of humor, stars in this film instead. The movie portrays her bizarre and naive attempts to lose her virginity as a heroic quest. In an unexpected twist, once she finds her match, he suffers a tragic accident involving a bull’s horn, leaving her to find a solution to restore his manhood. Yes, you read that correctly – that is actually the plot of this movie.

1985: Red Sonja

If you’re curious about why Arnold Schwarzenegger hasn’t starred in a swords-and-sandals movie for four decades, watching the film “Red Sonja” might give you the answer. This movie is essentially a female version of “Conan”, with Brigitte Nielsen playing the title character, a warrior embarking on a quest in an ancient fantasy realm. Interestingly, Arnold Schwarzenegger appears as her sidekick, reminiscent of Conan. Arnold himself has labeled “Red Sonja” as “the worst film I have ever made.” And to add to that, he also starred in “Hercules in New York.

1986: Shanghai Surprise

As a film critic, I must confess that some movies acquire their infamy unjustly. Take the case of “John Carter”, which, despite its disappointing box office and harsh reviews, is far more engaging than you might think. Conversely, there’s the notorious film “Shanghai Surprise”, a title that fits its status perfectly. Starring Sean Penn and Madonna, this movie features an odd duo: a luminescent tie salesman and a missionary who join forces for an opium heist. Regrettably, there’s little in this film to praise, save perhaps the opportunity to witness Penn and Madonna during their brief marriage. Their relationship may have endured beyond the film, but “Shanghai Surprise” has persisted as one of the most tedious productions from that decade.

1987: Leonard Part 6

In the prime of his career within the Hollywood scene, Bill Cosby headlined this laugh-free spy satire titled “Leonard Part 6”. The story revolves around a former CIA agent coerced to return to duty to thwart a vegetarian with mind-controlled animals as murder weapons. The title is intended humorously to suggest it’s the sixth installment of a popular series, but like many other jokes in this cinematic debacle, it falls flat. Despite Cosby having produced the movie and devising the initial idea, he publicly criticized “Leonard Part 6” before its premiere. It’s no surprise given that the final product struggles to find a consistent tone between imitating Bond films and catering to childish humor, while featuring some of the most excessive product placements in contemporary cinema. The film is not just the worst movie of 1987; it surpasses the mediocrity of the worst movies from most other years as well.

1988: Mac and Me

In the 1980s, the popularity of the movie “E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial” ignited a craze for tales about friendly aliens visiting Earth, and this trend extended to businesses like McDonald’s who joined in by producing an unofficial spin-off of E.T., featuring another lovable alien character and his human companion. (The title itself subtly hints at the famous fast-food chain.) One noteworthy, yet questionable scene in this film showcases a lengthy dance number taking place within a McDonald’s restaurant. This sequence may be seen as disappointing, but on the bright side, it provided an opportunity for Paul Rudd to play pranks on Conan O’Brien over many years.

1989: She’s Out of Control

In my perspective as a film critic, I must express my dismay at the misguided comedy titled “Dance with Danger.” This movie revolves around a single father (Tony Danza), whose world is turned upside down when his eldest daughter reaches the ripe age of 15 and shows an interest in boys. Now, let me clarify that this isn’t about her getting involved in drugs or adult entertainment; it’s more about her getting contact lenses and a new haircut, and going on a few dates.

The father, played by Danza, then seeks guidance from a therapist (Wallace Shawn), who has authored an entire book on the importance of fathers acting as guardians of their daughters’ purity. The film then appears to condone Danza’s erratic behavior when the daughter’s prom date (Matthew Perry) attempts to harm her. It is inadvisable for any parent, or indeed anyone, to watch this movie.

1990: The Bonfire of the Vanities

The intricate cinematography found in this film, abundant as it is, is unable to rescue Brian De Palma’s “The Bonfire of the Vanities” from one of the most ill-advised castings among ’90s films. Each of the principal actors seems miscast for their roles; Tom Hanks fails to convincingly portray a blue blood, Melanie Griffith delivers an unimpressive performance as his mistress, and Bruce Willis is overly self-assured and detached, failing to convey the desperation required for his character, an alcoholic journalist. While a film can often recover when one lead performance is subpar, having three lead roles that are completely miscast results in a certified catastrophe.

1991: Nothing But Trouble

One unexpected yet fitting aspect of this movie is its connection to Dan Aykroyd’s nightmares. Few films evoke such a genuinely unsettling dreamlike quality as this one, from the gruesome violence to the actors in eerie prosthetic makeup, the sudden Digital Underground musical number, the technology that seems beyond comprehension powering the ancient judge’s complex house, and the scenes I caught as a child on TV – even brief glimpses of Chevy Chase tumbling into piles of human bones or Aykroyd as a giant baby in diapers were enough to haunt my dreams. To this day, it remains one of the most disturbing Hollywood productions I’ve ever encountered.

1992: Frozen Assets

Despite the other comedies on this list being rather poor, they’re almost as amusing as “Blazing Saddles” in comparison to “Frozen Assets”, a film that seems to have been created by someone aiming for the title of least funny movie ever. Corbin Bernsen stars as a bank executive sent to revive a struggling branch in Oregon, but this isn’t your ordinary bank – it’s a sperm bank! Yes, you read that right. The only joke in the entire movie. Bernsen is solely focused on making the sperm bank profitable, which puts him at odds with the bank’s chief scientist, played by Shelley Long. He treats her cruelly, yet she somehow falls for him. Larry Miller also plays a significant role as an escaped mental patient who joins Bernsen at the sperm bank. I may be understating how terrible this movie is – it’s actually much worse. Steer clear of “Frozen Assets” at all costs. I’m dead serious; I would pay not to watch this movie again.

1993: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday

In the movie “Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday,” Jason Voorhees, the infamous antisocial maniac in a hockey mask, known for his gruesome attacks on campers, undergoes a transformation into a parasitic worm that takes control of people, turning them into ruthless killers. The “Friday the 13th” series, not always clear-cut even on its best days, introduces an abundance of new background and rules in this installment, including mystical daggers and previously unacknowledged Jason relatives. (It’s fascinating to note that the reason no one could kill Jason before was due to a mystical dagger that the screenwriters hadn’t thought up yet!) As an aside, it’s worth mentioning that given its title, “Jason Goes to Hell,” one might expect Jason to actually travel to hell. However, he mainly visits a house, a diner, a jail, and a coroner’s office instead. The title only makes sense as a brief critique of the film.

1994: It’s Pat

In the 90s, films based on Saturday Night Live emerged, but none were as disappointing as the film centering around Julia Sweeney’s character, Pat – an awkward and androgynous figure. Similar to her TV sketches, there’s constant speculation about whether Pat is male or female, with this intrigue amplified in the movie by Pat’s fixated neighbor Kyle (Charles Rocket). The film, It’s Pat, portrays Kyle’s obsession with Pat’s true identity as distasteful and uncomfortable, and it indeed is. However, one must question why an entire comedy and all its humor revolve around this subject? Regardless of gender, Pat is a poor choice for the lead character in a film, not due to their gender, but because of other reasons. Pat is self-absorbed, irritating, unfunny, and heartlessly cruel. A major plotline follows Pat as they steal a friend’s job as the host of a radio show similar to Loveline, mock the friend for losing the job, and then belittle all callers for being dull. The film is an unpleasant journey from start to finish.

1995: The Jerky Boys Movie

1996: Mad Dog Time

The movie “Mad Dog Time” isn’t the worst film ever made, but it’s close. I can’t think of another bad movie that’s as strange as this one. Starring a fantastic cast including Jeff Goldblum, Gabriel Byrne, Ellen Barkin, Richard Dreyfuss, Diane Lane, Gregory Hines, Burt Reynolds, Rob Reiner, Kyle MacLachlan, and more, it’s a gangster movie set in an alternate universe in deep space. This universe, called Vic’s World, is inhabited by stereotypical characters from gangster movies who fight each other in a dimly lit basement. It doesn’t make sense in any context I’ve seen, which makes me think it might actually be from another dimension, where people enjoy really bad movies.

1997: Chairman of the Board

In a surprising turn of events, one wouldn’t anticipate greatness from a film starring stand-up comedian Carrot Top, and “Chairman of the Board” falls far short of even those expectations. The story revolves around an unfortunate inventor who becomes friends with a wealthy businessman (Jack Warden), who subsequently passes away and leaves him his company. Despite the potential for humor – theoretically – the movie offers little else. However, it is worth noting that it provided one of the most iconic moments in late-night television history. This occurred during an interview between co-star Courtney Thorne-Smith and Conan O’Brien, when Norm Macdonald repeatedly interrupted to express his views on a potential Carrot Top film. (“If it’s got Carrot Top in it, you know what a good name for it would be? ‘Box Office Poison’!”)

1998: The Avengers

Initially, let’s clarify that the movie you’re referring to is “1998’s The Avengers,” which derives from an earlier British spy series, not the Marvel comics or films with the same name. In this film, Ralph Fiennes and Uma Thurman portray the heroes, but they don’t carry out any avenging actions. While the title might seem confusing given the movie’s content, it could be justified considering the overall nonsensical nature of the plot.

This particular Avengers runs for approximately 90 minutes, and it appears that significant parts are missing. Scenes abruptly end and start in entirely different locations without any explanation as to how Fiennes and Thurman transitioned from one place to another. All the major action scenes with special effects are present, but the elements linking them together – such as character development, motivation, and even a glimmer of human emotion amidst the artificial visual noise – seem to be absent.

In essence, The Avengers seems like a condensed version of itself, similar to reading CliffsNotes.

1999: Inspector Gadget

One of the enchanting animated TV shows from the 1980s transformed into one of the most grating blockbusters of the 1990s. The main issue lies with the casting: Matthew Broderick is a humorous and appealing individual, but his quiet, nerdy demeanor doesn’t fit the boisterous, clumsy Inspector Gadget character. (Rupert Everett also seems misplaced as the villainous Dr. Claw.) The visual effects are more exaggerated than the original Inspector Gadget cartoon, and the movie, which appears to have been hastily edited by panicked studio executives, is merely 70 minutes long before the credits roll. Incredibly, it’s still too lengthy.

2000: Battlefield Earth

Occasionally, a film arrives under a barrage of unfavorable publicity that prevents it from receiving a balanced evaluation from audiences and critics. A prime example is the movie “Battlefield Earth”. The negative press this film garnered before its release was entirely deserved. It was a disastrous blend of awful makeup effects, poor acting, and cringeworthy dialogue. Attempting to read any line from the IMDb Quotes page for this movie with a straight face is an impossible task. One of the screenwriters associated with “Battlefield Earth” even issued an apology afterwards, stating that comparing it to a train wreck isn’t really fair to train wrecks because people actually find them interesting.

2001: Planet of the Apes

In this movie, Mark Wahlberg takes on the role as a disheartened astronaut who is drawn into a violet cosmic nebula and ends up on a planet inhabited by apes! After a long, exhausting stint of trekking through the desert and poorly executed fight sequences, Wahlberg eventually finds his way back to Earth, only to discover it has been replaced by an ape-populated world! Known for his exceptional success in Hollywood during the 1980s and ’90s, Tim Burton sadly fell short with this production.

2002: The Master of Disguise

The concept behind “The Master of Disguise” is logical, given that a character who can imitate others and assume multiple personas suits Dana Carvey, an exceptional mimic from Saturday Night Live. However, it’s important to note that Carvey excels in impressions, not disguise mastery. A genuine master of disguise would blend seamlessly into their roles and become indistinguishable, which is the opposite of what Carvey portrays.

It’s hard to miss Carvey’s character, Pistachio Disguisey, when he appears at a party as Al Pacino from “Scarface” or Robert Shaw from “Jaws.” Other scenes are more horrifying than comedic, such as when Carvey disguises himself as some sort of turtle man. Despite its brevity, the movie only lasts 70 minutes before the credits roll. Unfortunately, these 70 minutes are excruciatingly painful – not to mention strange, uncomfortable, and unfunny.

2003: Bulletproof Monk

A tale from the past: Around two decades ago, I watched a film all by myself in the entire theater. Everybody else seemed to make the wise choice; by the end, I was so bored that I roamed around the auditorium trying out various seats to find the perfect view of the screen. However, no matter where I sat, the movie remained dull. Looking back now, this film – Bulletproof Monk – might just hold the worst Hollywood martial arts scenes from this century. It’s possible that the director isn’t entirely to blame; it appears that Seann William Scott performed more of his own stunts than Chow Yun-fat. In fact, when Stifler outperforms the action in your movie, there is a significant issue at hand.

2004: Catwoman

In this reinterpretation, Halle Berry uncovers that her beauty company’s innovative product is hazardous, leading to her untimely death at the hands of her superiors as part of a concealment scheme. However, felines miraculously resurrect her, marking her as the latest iteration of Catwoman, a historical figure who has roamed the Earth with feline attributes. Berry’s Patience Phillips now combats crime (and occasionally instigates it) using cats’ most renowned abilities: she exhibits extraordinary agility, always lands on her feet, is an exceptional basketball player, enjoys burglary, employs whips, makes cringeworthy basketball puns, and has a fondness for leather – traits that closely resemble those of a genuine cat.

The director of Catwoman, Pitof, hails from the visual effects industry, which means there are certainly worse-looking films from the 2000s. Yet, it’s hard to find one more poorly edited. (The cast consistently wears the same attire for two consecutive days, indicating that someone chose to reassemble the movie by merging the first day’s occurrences into two, without any effort to reshoot fresh footage.)

2005: Alone in the Dark

In the 2000s, Uwe Boll gained notoriety as a film director by producing numerous video game adaptations, leveraging a German tax loophole to ensure financial success. Essentially, you could compare him to the characters from Mel Brooks’ “The Producers,” but as gamers. In one of his most disastrous productions, Tara Reid and Christian Slater starred. Here, Reid played a brilliant archaeologist while Slater portrayed a detective investigating supernatural phenomena. Unfortunately, due to its baffling plot and overly lengthy opening title crawl (a whopping 90 seconds), the movie is difficult to understand even beyond what the confusing “Alone in the Dark” might have been without it.

2006: Basic Instinct 2

In a remarkable display of acting prowess, Sharon Stone transforms even the most mundane lines into something sensual, bordering on the extraordinary. However, despite her exceptional skills, the film “Basic Instinct 2” disappointingly lacks depth from start to finish. Stone’s character, in essence, outperforms (or perhaps overperforms) the male lead, David Morrissey, who fails to project an equal presence throughout the movie. It remains unclear why her character is drawn to him unless she perceives him as a simple target and decides to toy with him for amusement, much like a praying mantis would a prey. Stone’s portrayal of Catherine suggests she’s enjoying her role as a manipulator, but Morrissey’s psychiatrist is so lackluster that there’s little enjoyment in watching her torment him because there’s no suspense about the outcome. It’s as if we’re witnessing the 1992 Dream Team effortlessly outplaying a group of local recreational players.

2007: Norbit

Audiences often appreciate it when Eddie Murphy takes on multiple roles in one movie by means of intricate makeup. Here, his talent for physical metamorphosis, combined with Rick Baker’s exceptional makeup skills, serves a bitter tale about a meek man (also played by Murphy) who marries a demanding woman. In this film, Murphy portrays the vengeful, violent character Rasputia, which requires impressive technical skill but is also a harsh caricature filled with jokes about her weight. To add to this, Murphy plays Mr. Wong, a gruff Chinese man who runs an orphanage and speaks in a thick stereotypical accent. Overall, the movie is quite disheartening.

2008: Disaster Movie

The title “Disaster Movie” is misleading because it doesn’t truly represent what this film offers. Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer’s “disaster” films, as depicted in this production, include movies like “10,000 B.C., Hancock, Jumper, Enchanted, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Beowulf“, and “The Love Guru“. However, it’s a stretch to call this a “movie” as it barely meets the minimum requirements for that term. The plot is practically non-existent, with just a handful of characters and the thinnest thread of a storyline. To fill in the gaps, the filmmakers rely heavily on bad celebrity impressions, making it necessary for the characters to announce who’s appearing on screen. It’s hard to believe that this is one of the worst examples of cinematic art I have ever encountered.

2009: X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Title aside, this film seems to be a blend of X-Men, Wolverine, and origin tales. If director Gavin Hood had chosen one theme, he might have created a decent movie. However, the project was destined for trouble from the start as it attempted to merge multiple X-Men and Wolverine narratives. Lines like “We didn’t sign up for this” (spoken by Hugh Jackman’s Logan) in X-Men Origins serve both as dialogue within the film and as a commentary on the movie itself, highlighting its flaws. Other such lines include “We’ve done enough!”, “You look like a man fixing to do a bad thing,” and my personal favorite, “Wake me when it’s over.

2010: Jonah Hex

In a perfect world, a Jonah Hex film based on DC Comics would have been a cinch. All that was needed was casting Josh Brolin as the rugged Western outlaw in a story reminiscent of “Fistful of Dollars,” allowing him to display his gun-slinging prowess. However, the movie veered off course by endowing Hex with supernatural abilities (he communicates with the deceased) and weapons that were overly fantastical, mirroring the film’s bizarre, comic-like plot. The Jonah Hex film stands as an extraordinary example of cinematic flop—it makes “Wild Wild West” seem like a masterpiece compared to “The Searchers.

2011: Atlas Shrugged: Part I

Regardless of one’s opinion on Ayn Rand’s book “Atlas Shrugged,” its title aptly summarizes a reasonable response to its disappointing movie version. In his 2011 critique, Roger Ebert labeled it as “the most underwhelming non-occurrence since Geraldo Rivera opened Al Capone’s vault.” The film essentially captures the initial segment of Rand’s novel and primarily focuses on industrialists engaging in lengthy business conversations. Business chats: Catch the buzz!

2012: The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure

It’s challenging to conceive of a less aesthetically pleasing character than an Oogielove. With their oversized heads, round torsos, and bizarrely elongated arms reminiscent of Popeye, they resemble a disguise a child-kidnapper might create to lure a child into an unmarked van. Remarkably, these creatures are the main attractions in this dismal children’s movie, arguably the worst ever produced. (I speak from experience; I have two children and have watched a considerable amount of terrible kids’ movies. The Oogieloves would be outshone by even the most mediocre entries in the Criterion Collection.)

2013: Movie 43

2014: A Haunted House 2

As a devoted admirer, let me say that this parody somehow manages to elevate the questionable masterpiece it’s mimicking, The Devil Inside, to a level of mediocrity that seems almost commendable. While the numerous Paranormal Activity copycats from the 2010s may have had their merits, they at least spared us the unsettling image of Marlon Wayans getting intimate with eerie dolls or inadvertently squashing adorable puppies under giant safes. If there’s ever a third installment of A Haunted House, I might just hang up my writing hat and open a bakery instead.

2015: Strange Magic

In more straightforward language,

George Lucas’ latest screenwriting project is the 2015 animated musical “Strange War in Enchanted Realms,” which features an uninteresting conflict between the Dark Forest and Fairy Kingdom. The music in this production is decent, but the character designs are unappealing and awkward. If you’re looking for a George Lucas-inspired jukebox musical, it would be better to watch “American Graffiti.

2016: Dirty Grandpa

In a simpler and more conversational style, “Dirty Grandpa” follows a common pattern in many poor-quality Hollywood comedies – if someone who appears kind or innocent (like grandpas) says something crude, it’s assumed to be funny. If the idea of Robert De Niro uttering words like “smegma” amuses you, then this movie is for you. However, if you expect your humor to have actual jokes (or not to be filled with continuous homophobia), you might find yourself disappointed. The title, at least, is fitting.

2017: The Emoji Movie

One could imagine a thought-provoking film about smartphone culture, possibly even delving into the world of emojis; however, such a production would necessitate a script brimming with sharp wit and bite, far beyond what was presented in the movie “The Emoji Movie“. Beyond its faintly optimistic message promoting acceptance of differences, this film can be described as an unsurprising product – a subtly disguised advertisement – from a film studio whose financial stability is rooted in selling millions of smartphones annually. This production implies that owning a cell phone will boost popularity and make you irresistible to the opposite sex.

2018: The Happytime Murders

Brian Henson’s adult-oriented puppet comedy, “The Happytime Murders,” is filled with explicit humor that appeals to immature audiences. The creators primarily focused on the idea of incorporating puppets into an edgy comedy setting, replete with numerous sexual innuendos. This movie has gained notoriety for some trivia-worthy moments, such as Melissa McCarthy biting a puppet’s penis and Joel McHale mimicking a classic scene from “Basic Instinct” by staring at a puppet’s vagina. Among the cast, Maya Rudolph is the only one who truly shines with her witty rice pilaf joke. Rice pilaf! She deserves recognition as a hero in this comedy.

2019: Serenity

In the movie “Serenity,” Matthew McConaughey portrays fisherman “Baker Dill.” His ex-wife, played by Anne Hathaway, asks him to eliminate her violent new husband, Jason Clarke. However, the plot takes an unexpected turn that I won’t reveal if you haven’t seen it yet. Even if you know the film’s notorious twist, trust me when I say that “Serenity” is far more confoundingly absurd than you could ever imagine. It’s hard to believe that anyone conceived this concept, let alone the many people who had to make this puzzling tale into a movie.

2020: Dolittle

In the style of Tim Burton’s Batman, where a street doctor botches a chemical-scarred Jack Napier’s face reconstruction, leading to the creation of the Joker, Dolittle is like a film adaptation of that chaos. It’s a disjointed, unclear narrative that seems pieced together from leftover scenes and reworked footage of something completely different. Initially, it may have been intended as a more serious production, but during reshoots, it morphed into a cinematic Frankenstein’s monster filled with potty humor (poop jokes, fart jokes, even itchy-butt jokes), talking animals, shoddy CGI, and Robert Downey Jr. delivering performances so exaggerated that Captain Jack Sparrow, played by Johnny Depp, appears introverted in comparison.

2021: Space Jam: A New Legacy

In “Space Jam: A New Legacy”, Warner Bros. portrayed itself as a heartless conglomerate of intellectual properties controlled by an antagonistic AI, essentially a spectacular self-mockery in filmmaking terms. The movie was so weak and unamusing that the original “Space Jam” seemed like a masterpiece in comparison, such as “2001: A Space Odyssey”. LeBron James isn’t a poor actor; he’s no less competent in the lead than Michael Jordan was in the first film. However, almost everything else about “A New Legacy” was disappointing from start to finish. It appears that the film doesn’t grasp the charm of Looney Tunes, and Bugs Bunny, in particular, is transformed into a whiny, disheartened character. My recommendation: Instead, watch some classic “Looney Tunes Cartoons” on Max. A random short from this collection will provide more laughs than this entire two-hour film. Additionally, the animation quality is superior.

2022: Marmaduke

If I’ve ever come across an animated movie less aesthetically pleasing than “Marmaduke”, I haven’t found it. Frankly, I hope I never will. The production seems more like a byproduct of illicit financial activities or one of those peculiar agreements where the project must be completed by a certain date to keep the rights active.

Strangely enough, despite the atrocious animation, “Marmaduke” boasts a star-studded cast of genuinely funny and renowned individuals such as J.K. Simmons, David Koechner, and Pete Davidson. One wonders if they didn’t read the script, didn’t see the hideous characters they would be voicing, or were offered something extraordinary in return for their contributions. How did this collaboration occur?

2023: Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey

This problematic movie that draws inspiration from A.A. Milne’s classic book, now in the public domain, fails on multiple levels as both a slasher film and a critique of children’s literature. However, it effectively makes a twisted point, serving as a strong argument for the importance of maintaining the concept of a public domain. Sadly, it’s nothing more than an appalling mess.

2024: Megamind vs. the Doom Syndicate

This animated sequel, produced by a major studio, appears strikingly cheap. If The Asylum had made a mockbuster of Megamind, it wouldn’t have looked any shabbier. The cityscape, titled ‘Metro City,’ lacks depth and vitality; it looks dreary and entirely deserted. There are no passersby or onlookers to be seen except for one scene at a dance party. The characters Megamind and the Doom Syndicate are battling over a ghost town, making it seem as if the movie is set in a less foggy version of the Superman Nintendo 64 game. It’s hard to believe that it took 14 years to produce this Megamind sequel, given the unimpressive outcome.

The Worst Movie Prequels in History

15. The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

Peter Jackson’s success in adapting “The Lord of the Rings” made him an obvious pick for adapting J.R.R. Tolkien’s “The Hobbit.” The fact that “The Lord of the Rings” became a series of three successful and profitable films convinced Jackson and others to extend “The Hobbit” into a trilogy as well. However, there was one problem: while “The Lord of the Rings” consisted of three books, “The Hobbit” was only one. Extending the material that far led to the final installment, “The Battle of the Five Armies,” which essentially featured one long battle scene. The main antagonist from the previous films, Smaug, was quickly defeated in the initial minutes, leaving the remainder of the nearly three hours without a significant dramatic focus. However, it does include all five armies!

14. Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights

Many prequels often fail to recognize that audiences were drawn to the original film by the stars, not just the storyline. For instance, while Dirty Dancing has an appealing title, it was really Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey’s captivating performances in the sensual dance scenes that made the movie a hit. Remove them from the picture, and you’re left with Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights. Swayze does make a cameo as a dance instructor, but the storyline is essentially the same, now set in Cuba instead of a Catskills resort. Diego Luna and Romola Garai play the leads, but the film itself was less than impressive. To add to its problems, Garai later disclosed that she wasn’t even officially offered her role until after an uncomfortable encounter with producer Harvey Weinstein in his hotel room, where he reportedly greeted her in just a dressing gown. Indeed, “dirty” is an apt description for the situation.

13. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre film series is unique for having two prequels, each set in different timelines with no connection to one another. It’s important to note that these prequels have received less than desirable reviews. One of them, “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning,” released in 2006, was inspired by the highly successful 2003 remake of Tobe Hooper’s original horror masterpiece. This prequel, taking place years before the events of the remake, claims to explain Leatherface’s origins as a chainsaw-wielding killer. However, uncovering why someone would start wearing human skin and mutilating people with gardening tools actually makes him less terrifying. Another reason why many horror prequels fail to scare: We are aware that the villain cannot die or suffer significant losses because they need to survive for the next film in the series. Unfortunately, “The Beginning” did not perform well at the box office, earning only half of what the remake made, and thus concluding the Texas Chainsaw Massacre saga.

12. Leatherface

However, some years rolled by, and Millennium Films seized control of the franchise. They chose to produce a sequel-prequel, titled “Texas Chainsaw 3D”, which unfolded many years subsequent to Tobe Hooper’s TCM. This film introduced an alternate origin story for Leatherface in a prequel named “Leatherface”. Unlike the earlier portrayal in “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning”, this time, Leatherface was revealed as Jedidiah Sawyer, who was institutionalized as a child due to his violent upbringing. To safeguard the kids from their brutal families, the institution altered their names. So, when a prison breakout by a gang of juvenile inmates occurs, and one is destined to transform into Leatherface, it’s not immediately evident who it will be. This concept offers a fresh twist for the franchise, but ultimately only serves as a slightly different rationale for more chainsaw mayhem.

11. The Thing

In the context of “The Thing” (1982), it would be challenging to create a sequel due to the movie’s intriguing, open-ended conclusion and the need to escalate the scale (and budget). The creators of the 2011 film chose to take a prequel approach, or at least claim it was a prequel. As the title indicates, this is essentially a reimagining, featuring another Antarctic research station dealing with another shapeshifting alien just prior to the events of John Carpenter’s classic. The film isn’t disgraceful; it boasts some good scares and a strong ensemble cast including Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Joel Edgerton. However, it lacks originality, which is detrimental to a story like “The Thing,” as its impact relies heavily on surprising the audience with an unforeseen plotline and jolts.

10. Exorcist: The Beginning

As a passionate cinephile, I can’t help but reflect on the disappointing journey of the sequel to the iconic “Exorcist.” Originally conceived as an entirely distinct project by Paul Schrader, this follow-up was doomed from the start. When my vision for a more artistic and chilling tale didn’t align with the studio’s expectations, they opted to bring in a fresh creative team to deliver a more conventional horror experience. They succeeded in creating a frightening film, alright; unfortunately, it lacked the depth and quality that made its predecessor a classic.

Stellan Skarsgard steps into the role of the young Father Merrin, the venerable priest from the original “Exorcist,” during his initial encounter with Pazuzu. The resulting film, sadly, is as dull an addition to the series as any sequel could be – that is, until “The Exorcist: Believer” graced our screens.

9. Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace

The idea of a corrupt politician exploiting crises to seize power and dismantle democracy is intriguing in ‘Phantom Menace’. However, it’s unfortunate that this core concept is hidden beneath a mountain of uninteresting elements such as trade disagreements, Jar Jar Binks’ comedic mishaps, and the pesky midi-chlorians. Thankfully, the podrace and Darth Maul battle at the end are worthwhile highlights.

8. Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones

As a passionate cinephile, let me share my perspective on the Star Wars saga: While “The Phantom Menace” had its flaws, it’s nothing compared to the chaos that is “Attack of the Clones”. Hayden Christensen, at that age, was a significant step down from Jake Lloyd, especially in the emotionally charged scenes with Natalie Portman. The narrative was convoluted and hard to follow, and the Jedi characters appeared to be utterly clueless, struggling to grasp the blatant puppeteer manipulating them. To add insult to injury, I’m not a fan of sand, so this movie hits a personal nerve.

7. Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

In simpler terms, the latest Harry Potter prequel, The Crimes of Grindelwald, fell flat compared to the original series. It was so dull and filled with unnecessary complications that it seemed as if it was on trial for being uninteresting. Despite claiming to expand the Wizarding World of the Harry Potter movies, it instead created a sense of emptiness similar to Seinfeld episodes.

Between chaotic action scenes, characters sat in rooms discussing pointless details or their pasts, and in one scene, characters even contradicted each other about a character’s backstory. It was as if the storytellers were more interested in prolonging the franchise than focusing on the original story about a unique man hunting magical creatures. The only thing it effectively explained was the desire of everyone involved to keep the franchise going long after its natural end.

6. Hannibal Rising

As a movie enthusiast, I must confess that one common pitfall in prequels is the attempt to delve deeper into the enigmatic background of captivating yet enigmatic characters, such as the mesmerizing yet psychotic serial killer Hannibal Lecter, featured in ‘Hannibal Rising’. However, unraveling the inexplicable is a challenge, and it often leads to simplistic pop psychology or scenes that aim to disclose character details which were unnecessary to begin with. Regrettably, ‘Hannibal Rising’ falls into both categories.

Was Hannibal Lecter’s mask truly in need of an origin? Perhaps he simply chose to conceal his cannibalistic nature by covering his mouth, rather than because of a similar mask he discovered while spending time with his Japanese aunt during his samurai training in France during the 1950s. (Yes, you read that correctly; this film is quite far-fetched.)

5. X-Men: Apocalypse

The movie X-Men: Apocalypse, in a strange twist, showcases the misuse of one of the world’s most handsome men, Oscar Isaac, by burying him under 60 pounds of hideous blue makeup, making him speak in an amusingly odd voice, and having him perform actions that are decidedly un-cool, such as placing his hand on a TV screen and emitting the sound “Lllllleeeeeeearniiiiiiing.” This film’s treatment of Oscar Isaac is just one of its many transgressions. It also featured an opening credits sequence filled with amusing silliness and wasted every ounce of momentum and goodwill generated by its superior prequel, X-Men: Days of Future Past.

4. The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas

The initial live-action Flintstones film didn’t mirror the ‘dawn of man’ scenes from 2001: A Space Odyssey, but it did boast an impressive cast (John Goodman, Rick Moranis, Kyle MacLachlan, Elizabeth Taylor) and remarkable production design. This prequel, however, featured a new set of actors (Mark Addy as Fred, Stephen Baldwin as Barney, Alan Cumming as the Great Gazoo) and jokes about prehistoric Las Vegas. I’ve always found Roger Ebert’s half-star review intriguing, which comments, “This film is perfect for infants who can appreciate the vibrant visuals on screen and move their tiny hands to the music. Young children might enjoy it due to their love of going to the movies. However, it lacks charm, humor, and excitement, and during many scenes, it resembles actors standing before large rocks, delivering sitcom dialogue.

3. 300: Rise of an Empire

In simpler terms, the movie “Rise of an Empire” would be just 35 minutes long if all slow-motion scenes were played at normal speed. The film is stretched out to feature length by overuse of speed ramping, making every fight scene incredibly slow. However, if you appreciate seeing computer-generated swords slice through men’s bare torsos and watch large quantities of fake blood spurt from these same torsos, then this movie is essentially your “Citizen Kane.” The only character or element that appears somewhat lively is Eva Green, who delivers an over-the-top performance as a Persian admiral skilled in sword fighting. She comes across as a character straight out of a video game, but at least it seems like a fun one.

2. X-Men Origins: Wolverine

As a film enthusiast, I must confess that the quirky title alone sets off alarms. Is this an X-Men saga, a Wolverine escapade, or perhaps an origin tale? Why not combine them all, I suppose was the thought behind “X-Men Origins.” If director Gavin Hood had narrowed his focus to one aspect, he might have produced a film worthy of respect. However, this movie seems to have been destined for mediocrity from its very conception, as it attempted to weave together half a dozen different X-Men and Wolverine narratives. Hugh Jackman’s Logan growls at Liev Schreiber’s Victor, “We didn’t sign up for this,” a line that echoes the feelings of many viewers about “X-Men Origins.” Other lines, such as “We’ve done enough!”, “You look like a man fixing to do a bad thing,” and my personal favorite, “Wake me when it’s over,” can also be seen as meta-comments on the film itself.

1. Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd

What happens when you attempt to create a “Dumb and Dumber” movie without the Farrelly brothers, Jim Carrey, or Jeff Daniels? You end up with an unfunny disaster. In this version, Eric Christian Olsen and Derek Richardson step into the shoes of Carrey and Daniels’ characters, but as teenagers. Unfortunately, they fail to deliver the humor that their predecessors were known for. The supporting cast, including Eugene Levy, Cheri Oteri, and Bob Saget, are usually reliable, but even they can’t save this film. I must admit that “Dumb and Dumberer” lives up to its title – it’s almost as bad as the original, if not worse.

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2025-02-18 10:01