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Neko Case’s memoir of fighting and loving with ferocity for over 50 years

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In the initial chapters of her recently published memoir, Neko Case openly admits that she carried on with her performances while battling an early-stage yeast infection. She also shares her backstage diet struggles, consisting mainly of fries, white bread, and soda. Moreover, she anticipates the audience might scrutinize her less than perfect makeup application. Despite all these reasons to feel too timid to stand before a microphone, she admits, “I just can’t help it.

case, aged 54, frankly admits that for someone who spent her childhood in profound solitude, the idea of stumbling or falling before an audience was insignificant. Despite her attempts to win approval (“I would bend myself into various shapes to try and please her,” Case notes), even her mother feigned death to escape with a new partner to Hawaii, leaving Neko with her father who frequently used marijuana. Moreover, the scruffy dog named Buffy, a gift given to Case in place of her mother’s presence, couldn’t mend the void left by her mom.

Speaking from her hotel room in New York City, while working on the Broadway adaptation of “Thelma & Louise,” Case explains, “The story isn’t primarily about my mother; rather, it delves into the inevitable situations. I was deeply fond of my mother, yet she was a flawed individual who refused to address or accept responsibility for her flaws. Consequently, the narrative focuses on finding solid ground amidst insurmountable obstacles.

As a fan, I’d express it this way: “I believe I’d essentially be the same individual, given a nurturing bond with my mom. However, perhaps I’d be more open and trusting if that had been the case.

Neko, conceived in the initial sexual encounter of her teenage parents, grew up under the care of fellow adolescents who were unprepared for parenthood. The household lacked stability, with limited finances and uncertain plans for the future. As Neko’s father moved between dilapidated homes filled with mold, trailer parks, and a secluded reservation inhabited by rattlesnakes, one might fantasize that this hardship could foster a vibrant imagination to combat loneliness in a fairy tale setting. However, the reality was much harsher: eating uncooked pasta or cake mix since her father neglected to stock the pantry or prepare meals, spending long hours alone as her stepfather traveled for work and the nearest neighbor resided a mile away, and struggling to accept the abnormal circumstances surrounding her mother’s “death” and subsequent return years later.

One significant aspect of Case’s story is her mother’s intermittent presence, which has influenced how she navigates or withdraws from life, as well as her ability to trust men. At 14, she was violated by her friend’s older brother, and shortly after, she had to clean up her mother’s injuries from a rape committed by someone she knew. This could break any woman, but Case transformed, becoming resilient and assertive, unwilling to tolerate anything. Living in near-poverty, moving between dilapidated apartments or spending extended periods in a rundown touring van? She embraced it as freedom. Over time, her friends and acquaintances became her band family – the people who brought their musical instruments, shared a passion for harmony, and were always ready to collaborate, regardless of the outcome.

As circumstances worsened, she fought even harder; the greater the struggle, the more her extraordinary musical abilities became apparent. Interestingly enough, the title of her memoir, due out on January 28, is reminiscent of her sixth solo album from 2013 – “The Worse Things Get, The Harder I Fight, The Harder I Fight, The More I Love You,” which was nominated for Best Alternative Music Album at the Grammys.

The album, with its raw and honest depictions of pain (“I yearned so deeply not to be me,” she sings in “Where Did I Leave That Fire?”), gains deeper meaning when viewed alongside her candid, heartfelt autobiography. For those who have followed Case’s musical journey from punk bands to the New Pornographers, and even her collaborations with Neko Case & Her Boyfriends, the vague lyrics that suggested sorrow or hardship will become more clear in light of her memoir’s unsparing recollections. Alone often with only her pets or engrossed in drawing horses as a means to own one, it is understandable that Case feels a stronger connection to a free-spirited, genderless identity rather than the stereotypes of femininity portrayed by magazine photo shoots and music promotions.

As I write this, my humble abode continues to welcome an eclectic group of equines, canines, and felines – some I’ve taken under my wing, others who simply showed up one day and decided they weren’t leaving anytime soon.

She shares the sad news: “One of my horses has recently passed away.” His health deteriorated significantly, causing his brother to move temporarily to her neighbor’s house, who owns numerous horses. Horses are social animals and prefer not to be isolated. Therefore, she graciously allowed him to join a large group of mares at her place, so he wouldn’t feel lonely or sorrowful during this difficult time.

Case had an older pet dog pass away during the same week. However, she still owns her dog, Coco, and two cats, Chet and Marcia, as well as a new cat, Dennis, who unexpectedly appeared at her home. “Chet isn’t too fond of it,” Case admits, “but Dennis is so endearing that I hope Chet learns to accept him.

For an individual who spent much of her childhood isolated, it’s not surprising that Case feels at home among wild animals, be they animal or human. She penned this memoir amid the pandemic, during her work on her upcoming album and her debut Broadway musical. “Thelma & Louise,” a stage adaptation of Ridley Scott’s 1991 film, is being directed by its original screenwriter, Callie Khouri, who has a talent for music-related projects like “Nashville” and “Patsy & Loretta.” Trip Cullman, a well-known theater director, and writer Halley Feiffer make an ideal team. This project was a stark contrast to working on her own album and memoir for Case.

She compares it to a Hydra, similar to a three-headed beast, she says, chuckling. However, while music is like many heads of the Hydra, a record focuses on the musicians themselves. Writing fiction and writing a memoir are two distinct realms, so I made sure to keep them apart.

Originally, I’d planned for my debut book to be the story I’ve been crafting for years – a work of fiction. However, publishers seemed set on transforming it into a memoir instead. Could there possibly be a new Neko Case book in the horizon?

She mentions that she’s working on completing a captivating road trip tale, with the intention of getting it published. Fortunately, she has a supportive literary agent who has expressed interest in helping her. Although she has a busy schedule ahead for the next few years, she hopes to find some free time to wrap up the book soon, which would be delightful.

Music has consistently held prime importance in her life, serving as its vital essence. This passionate bond with music dates back to the earliest memories she carries.

I assumed music had been a constant presence all along. The tunes I grew up with significantly influenced me. Initially, I listened to the same music that my parents and grandparents did. I found myself drawn to music day and night.

From various music genres such as country, folk, punk, rock, and blues, young Case found herself gravitating towards a musical sphere. These same influences are distinctively woven into her diverse collection of albums, showcasing her raw, beautiful singing voice.

Case’s latest album, titled “Wild Creatures,” came out in 2022, marking a 20-year gap since her acclaimed 2006 album, “Fox Confessor Brings the Flood,” known for its hit track “Hold On, Hold On.” In that period, she also released “Middle Cyclone” in 2009, which debuted at No. 3 on the Billboard charts and earned a couple of Grammy nominations.

For those who enjoy analyzing the technical and psychological aspects of her music, Case refrains from discussing her songwriting methods or the meanings behind her songs in her memoir. She respects each listener’s unique experience of her music and doesn’t wish to intrude on that. However, in 2018, she participated in a “Song Exploder” podcast with Thao Nguyen, where they dissected the song “Last Lion of Albion.

Thao is one of my cherished musicians and a delightful individual, making our conversation feel more like catching up with an old friend. I find myself being open about this, as there’s no need for pretense. It’s fascinating to delve deep into the analysis of a single song, but I often fear that I might tarnish it… Instead, I hope others can enjoy it, move freely within its rhythm, and make it their own.

The memoir also serves as an opportunity to delve deeper into understanding Case, as well as to discern hidden meanings, navigate through its depths, and connect with the intricacies of being a creative individual.

She ponders, “I wish it could help people feel understood, not just women, but everyone. At such young ages like 18 or 19, we’re typically supposed to have our entire future planned out. For those who are neurodivergent, I believe it can be particularly challenging.

In her Substack “Entering the Lung,” Case often discusses her experiences with a brain that is commonly associated with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). This publication currently boasts more than 22,000 subscribers.

She continues, “I wrote the whole memoir, and wondered, ‘Did I leave something out?’ ”

In her conversation with The Times, she admits that this is one of the few interviews she’s given, excluding those for book promotion, which means she hasn’t prepared specific responses or identified any gaps in her responses yet.

She admits, “I’ve discussed it just a few times, so I don’t have solid opinions on it as of now.” She expresses her surprise by saying, “This is all quite fresh and exciting – it leaves me feeling ‘wow!’

In my opinion, it seems as if Case’s memoir might unexpectedly encapsulate the forthcoming reviews. As readers and critics delve into her book, they will undoubtedly find it insightful, resonant, and strikingly raw – a powerful statement that I can’t help but describe as “incredibly wow.

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2025-01-22 14:32

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