As I read through Steve Brookstein‘s story, it struck a chord within me, echoing the struggles and triumphs of many artists who have dared to dream big. His journey is a testament to resilience, a beacon of hope for those who believe in the power of perseverance.
Last month, on a Sunday evening, The Courtyard pub in Morpeth was not like Wembley. It wasn’t entirely obvious if the patrons were aware of who the grey-haired singer serenading them actually was.
Despite the stark contrast between his small, personal concert and his previous massive hits, Steve Brookstein, the inaugural winner of The X Factor, expresses to me that, after dealing with numerous years of struggle and sadness, he has never been more content.
‘I’ve found peace now. God’s plans and all that. Sometimes you’ve just got to accept bad guys win.’
The bad guy in Steve’s narrative, it soon becomes clear, is none other than Simon Cowell.
Due to the fact that next week will be exactly 20 years since Brookstein, currently 56, triumphed on the reality TV show, capturing a £1million record deal in the presence of ten million ITV viewers, it seems clear that the journey to fame under Cowell’s mentorship had a profound impact on him.
He shared with me that he is just recovering from the embarrassment caused by the X Factor judges, Sharon Osbourne and Louis Walsh, who labeled him as inauthentic and a bar singer. Later, they declared him a national failure after his sudden dismissal from Simon Cowell’s record label within a year, which was quite harsh.
Over time, I’ve come to terms with everything that happened. What proved particularly challenging and necessary was learning to let go of resentment and extend forgiveness. For quite a while, I struggled to find it in myself to forgive.
Participating in The X Factor provided me with experiences I could have lived without – embarrassment. It felt like a heavy burden, much like an albatross hanging around my neck.
However, when the confetti showered during Brookstein’s victory announcement, his initial emotions were overwhelming joy. Inwardly, he thought, “Now, nothing can possibly go awry.
It turns out that Brookstein’s assessment was off-base. His insights from decades past hold a poignant significance today, following the untimely death of Liam Payne, a troubled member of One Direction, at the age of 31. When Payne first gained public attention on The X Factor, he was four years younger than where Brookstein stood at that time.
As I listened, my compassion flowed towards him and his loved ones, knowing all too well the weight of their sorrow. Being 36 years old, with life’s lessons etched into me, I felt a sense of gratitude for having lived more time than many, thus offering a unique perspective in such difficult times.
Reflecting on my passion for music and considering my own potential, I can confidently say that, given the opportunity to audition for The X Factor at his age, I would have undeniably followed a similar path to his extraordinary success.
“I’ve shared my personal struggles with mental health issues. I’ve found myself in some very difficult and dark situations. It’s a sad and unfortunate series of events.
Six months after winning with a sparkling victory, garnering votes from six million individuals, Brookstein found himself yearning to break free from his deal with Cowell. He felt that his talents were not being effectively managed by the music tycoon.
He shared that he went to an industry event following the release of his first album in May 2005, where he had a conversation with Cowell, who happened to be present as well.
He commented, “It’s fortunate that you didn’t participate in the show this season as the quality has significantly improved. Last year, it was somewhat lackluster.” The remark seemed uncalled-for. Moments earlier, I had achieved a top-selling album.
Shortly thereafter, Cowell prevented Brookstein from jumping, bluntly declaring on television that he ‘was unable to sell albums’.
The rapid backlash that ensued was intense, with widespread ridicule on social media and virtually every opportunity within the industry being denied due to Cowell’s significant sway.
Brookstein was given the proposal of receiving only £12,500 as reimbursement for a potential £1 million business opportunity, on the condition that they would agree not to disclose any details about the situation.
Angered, he rejected the offer, leaving empty-handed. Despite this, his commercial triumph has yet to materialize – thus leading to performing at a smaller venue in Morpeth. Yet, he continues to earn a living through his music.
On December 11th, which marks their anniversary, Brookstein, a contented husband to Eileen Hunter (his wife of 18 years) and father of two teenagers, plans to perform at a cozy coffee shop located in west London.
Audiences, he says, are complimentary.
He remarks, “Many find it surprising that I can sing.” He acknowledges that he is aware that age hasn’t been kind to him, possibly due to stress. His hair is thinning and he’s carrying extra weight, which unfortunately doesn’t flatter his appearance.
People might comment, “Wow, he’s really transformed; he was once quite lean.” However, I’ve shifted from weighing 73 lbs to 109 lbs, now I wear glasses and have a gray beard. Yet, I’m thoroughly enjoying the experience of performing.
Today, he looks back on his life with contentment, a stark contrast to his X Factor journey. He reminisces, “I was doing well before The X Father ever entered the picture. I had just supported Dionne Warwick at The Fairfield Halls in Croydon, and was offered a chance to open for Lionel Richie on December 11, 2004 – the same day as the X Factor final. Unfortunately, I had to decline the offer. If things had gone differently that night, I could have been opening for Lionel Richie. That moment is often on my mind, as it represents a turning point in my life.
Both my father and my spouse caught sight of an advertisement for this fresh talent contest. I believed that this could serve as a great chance to connect with new professionals within the field.
Instead, he found himself hurt by the ordeal. He has openly discussed how Sharon Osbourne allegedly used a derogatory term for him during rehearsals, while Louis Walsh made a comparison to infamous serial killer Fred West on live TV. ‘It was quite startling,’ says Brookstein. ‘The amount of animosity directed at me was overwhelming.’
One way to rephrase the sentence could be: “The most difficult part for me was when I encountered online bullying. People would send me emails, links to websites, and there were numerous images of me alongside Fred West. This all happened in chat rooms, which was something I wasn’t prepared to deal with in real life. To put it into perspective, the worst bullying I had experienced prior to this was back in school, but this online incident became a national issue.
As an ardent admirer, I must confess, life without Eileen and my children is a concept I’ve seldom entertained, but it’s a chilling thought that crosses my mind occasionally. Brookstein’s assertion is crystal clear: the handling he experienced on the show was nothing short of disrespectful, failing to acknowledge him as a human being.
In his words, there seemed to be no responsibility towards the employees, or in other words, the bosses. From what they gleaned from season one, it wasn’t about nurturing the artists, but rather safeguarding the company.
Following the conclusion of the initial series, everyone was immediately required to sign Non-Disclosure Agreements (NDAs). The level of control over us significantly increased compared to the first series, making us more like props for the show.
‘He told me to remember the moment, but I’d never wanted to release the song. I couldn’t celebrate.
On The X Factor, the competition was fierce, and it seemed as if everyone was stepping on each other to reach the pinnacle. That’s the atmosphere I sensed. All the contestants had incredible talent; however, the vibe of the show was focused heavily on ratings.
In July 2005, he went to Cowell with an attempt to break his contract: “I had witnessed contracts and was also informed about the outcomes when contracts don’t work out. The record label always holds the upper hand.
‘You may as well just sign it and hope they don’t screw you, but they screwed me.
They informed me that they would carefully work on my album, yet what they ended up doing was releasing a compilation of cover songs instead. At the moment, I was boiling with anger, but looking back now, I can find humor in the situation.
Originally, I had requested to step aside from the project, but unexpectedly, Simon chose to appear on TV and announced he was disassociating himself from me. I hadn’t realized they could be so vengeful. All I did was ask for a £50,000 payment to help me establish my own endeavor.
‘They went no, we’ll offer you £12,500. For a million pound record deal? How does that work?
They asked me to agree to a Non-Disclosure Agreement, but I refused. It isn’t just about avoiding financial exploitation or losing money, it’s more about the potential embarrassment that might follow later on.
A couple of months down the line, I performed at several events, one being in Monaco during the Grand Prix, which took place on Kimi Raikkonen’s yacht. It was an event filled with celebrities, including Nigel Mansell and Eddie Jordan. Truly a high-profile gig.
The subsequent week, my representative requested that I perform at a pub belonging to his friend in Cornwall as a kindness. I agreed and they took good care of me.
He added: ‘But then an article appeared mocking my appearance at the pub. It went on for days. One newspaper put my head on a farmer’s body and said X Tractor, stuff like that.
After that unfortunate event, a multitude of opportunities I had lined up were abruptly terminated. It left me feeling utterly devastated.
What would he say to Cowell if he saw him today?
There’s not much I could tell him, really. All I ask is for an apology. It’s the one thing I’ve always desired, an apology, but it seems like I won’t receive one.
Currently, he confesses that he frequently ponders how his life might be different if he hadn’t participated in The X Factor.
It seems clear to me that if I had made different choices in the past, I might be in a healthier and happier state today. I believe I would have improved my singing skills, increased my fitness level, and likely avoided the struggles with depression that I currently face.
While The X Factor didn’t entirely destroy me, it certainly dented my reputation since I had a strong foundation beforehand. Nevertheless, I can’t express regret over it because, at the end of the day, one must accept what has happened. The only tears I’ve shed were for my spouse and kin; this experience was never about me personally.
After the passing of his father Errol this year, he plans to soon share a rendition of Peter Gabriel’s ‘Don’t Give Up’. He simply wants to persevere, expressing that finding solace in small blessings has been the only means he’s found to cope.
Get tickets for Steve’s forthcoming London acoustic show at: www.stevebrookstein.com
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2024-12-07 05:05