Inside caring Tulisa’s turbulent relationship with mum Ann Byrne after I’m A Celeb star was named her primary carer at the age of 11 as she battled schizoaffective disorder
Tulisa felt during her mother’s illness. Despite her difficult upbring and social services didn’t understand or help my mum’s condition, and I felt so frustrated that I couldn’t into depression.
During her time on I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here!, Tulisa showcased a more tender aspect of her personality.
Instead of sticking to her familiar North London, the straightforward N’Dubz member opted for the uncertain landscapes of rural Australia following her enrollment in the 24th season of the popular ITV program.
In her debut week at the camp, the 36-year-old singer provided comfort and empathy to former boxer Barry McGuigan, who was contemplating the heartbreaking loss of his daughter, Danika.
On Monday evening, McGuigan held back tears as he talked about his passing due to leukemia at the age of 33, with his fellow campmates. (This version maintains the original’s structure and meaning while using more conversational language.)
The moment prompted an instinctive response from Tulisa, who gave the former fighter a hug as he struggled to compose himself.
To the people who are closest to the singer, it’s no shock that she is compassionate, especially her own mother, Ann Byrne, whose battle against schizoaffective disorder was portrayed in the BBC documentary titled Tulisa: My Mother’s Struggle.
As a gifted vocalist and impressionist, I, along with my talented sisters Louisa, Paula, and Moira, briefly tasted fame as part of the swing band Jeep during the 1980s.
Additionally, she made an appearance on the brief-running talent program titled “Go For It.” During this performance, she impersonated the legendary Hollywood actress, Marilyn Monroe.
However, mental health challenges began to have an impact, and when Tulisa was just 11 years old, she found herself taking on the main caregiving responsibilities for her mother who was dealing with a mix of bipolar disorder and schizophrenia.
As someone passionately engaged in understanding mental health issues, I’d like to shed light on the challenges faced by individuals grappling with schizoaffective disorder, a condition affecting approximately 1 out of every 200 people. These brave souls may experience an unsettling belief that everyday objects, like a television set, might pose a threat to them, adding an extra layer of complexity to their daily lives.
Anne devoted all her focus towards Tulisa, their sole child, living secluded in a small, one-bedroom apartment on a run-down Camden housing complex managed by the local council.
In her 2012 autobiography, Honest, she described her mother’s peculiar behavior as follows: ‘My mother had an unusual habit of fastening our front door, which was always secured from within with the keys still dangling on the doorknob.’
One morning, I discovered that even though a key was inserted into the lock, it hadn’t been rotated, and surprisingly, the door remained unlocked.
I realized my mom might get scared and anxious if she saw it unlocked, so I quietly locked the door myself. Just moments later, my mom, alerted by the sound of jingling keys, burst out from the hallway, shouting at me in a state of panic.
She remarked that it appeared she believed I was attempting to open the door, causing her to panic and escalate wildly, accusing me not only of trying to harm her but also of having intent to make her sick or worse, endanger her life, with the accusations persisting further.
Frequently, we experienced situations similar to this at home, accompanied by outbursts and emotional ups and downs.
In the 2010 documentary, Tulisa shared that due to her mother’s illness, her upbringing became incredibly challenging, leading her to rebel in various ways such as excessive drinking, drug use, associating with a gang, and even contemplating suicide.
The performer disclosed that she descended into depression and developed a habit of alcohol consumption during her teenage years, as she found existence itself to be unbearably miserable.
She went on to make multiple suicide attempts.
Tulisa confessed that one of the hardest aspects of interacting with her mother was the sense of powerlessness and isolation she experienced during such a delicate period in her life.
It appeared that the doctors couldn’t manage to balance my mother’s emotions, which made me feel like I was sinking deeper and deeper into a difficult situation caused by the living environment I was compelled to endure.
During those extremely challenging periods, it was music and my aspiration to succeed that provided the motivation for me,” shared Tulisa.
Tulisa was just nine when the reality of her mother’s illness hit her.
She mentioned that when her father departed from their household, it led to one of her emotional outbursts. One moment she seemed deeply sad, as though she had lost someone dear, the next she became irate and volatile, breaking cabinets and yelling loudly.
Ultimately, she needed to go back to the hospital, and during that time, I stayed with my Aunt Louise, who is my mom’s older sister. Aunt Louise has kids of her own and was considered better equipped to care for a young girl like me.
I felt uneasy about my mother recovering and returning home, as it would necessitate my departure from my aunt’s house, a place where I felt secure, content, and like myself.
Consequently, Tulisa frequently experienced feelings of loneliness, as she shared: “At 11 years old, my mother relied on me for emotional support, yet I didn’t fully comprehend the concept. It was an extremely challenging time.
Occasionally, I’d find myself making multiple trips to the emergency room with her, only for them to eventually admit her and keep her in the hospital for as long as 3 months.
Over time, I found myself feeling less and less appreciative towards my mother due to her inability to manage her own needs effectively. It seemed challenging for her to believe that she was capable of taking care of me as well.
She preferred that my friends weren’t in the house, and she didn’t approve of me going out. This led me to feel isolated from school and eventually fall in with the wrong group.
2007 marked the year when Anne’s schizoaffective disorder was officially identified, following which her behavior has consistently stayed steady.
Tulisa admitted: ‘Medical experts don’t seem to know for sure whether this disorder is hereditary.’
‘I believe that anyone can experience feelings of depression or find themselves in a difficult emotional state, but it’s uncertain if such experiences might lead to the kind of behavior and condition my mother struggles with.’
She stated, ‘I think a significant factor is one’s mental strength. I’ve faced numerous challenges given my age, yet they’ve only served to make me robust and resolute. Here’s hoping my fortitude will be sufficient to shield me from the hardships my mother has endured.’
If you have been affected by anything in this story, call the MIND info-line on: 0300 123 3393.
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2024-11-22 13:19