Comedian and Love Actually star reveals he ‘fell into a hole’ during his ‘toxic’ porn addiction as he details his journey to recovery

Comedian and Love Actually star reveals he 'fell into a hole' during his 'toxic' porn addiction as he details his journey to recovery

As I delve deeper into this poignant narrative of Mark’s journey, I am deeply moved by his courage and resilience. His life story is a testament to the human spirit’s capacity for healing, transformation, and growth. It’s heartening to see him using his experiences as a stepping stone towards helping others who may be struggling with similar battles.


Marcus Brigstoke from the film Love Actually disclosed that he struggled with an addictive relationship to pornography, which led him to an unfortunate incident where he found himself “slipping into a pit” or “falling into a trap.

51-year-old entertainer and humorist, known for portraying radio DJ Mikey in the 2003 movie, openly discussed his challenging road to healing in a frank conversation.

On The Hidden 20% podcast, Marcus revealed to host Ben Branson that after overcoming past struggles with substance abuse at the age of 17, he experienced an incredibly significant physical transformation, shedding approximately 13 stones within a span of nine months.

In my personal journey, the dissolution of my marriage to Sophie Prideaux served as a pivotal moment, leading me to confront an addiction I hadn’t realized I had – a deep-seated struggle with pornography. Our separation took place in 2013, when it became public knowledge that I was involved in an affair with a colleague, Hayley Tamaddon. This unfortunate incident served as a wake-up call for me to address and overcome this aspect of my life.

He said: ‘So I just carried the mass of that around with me, and it had led to a lot of very dysfunctional behavior that I was in denial about. 

Comedian and Love Actually star reveals he 'fell into a hole' during his 'toxic' porn addiction as he details his journey to recovery

Comedian and Love Actually star reveals he 'fell into a hole' during his 'toxic' porn addiction as he details his journey to recovery

Consequently, I abstained from drugs, alcohol, and overeating, yet found myself ensnared in an addiction to pornography. Interestingly enough, I was unaware of this addiction; I assumed my consumption was within the norm.

‘The normal amount of porn today is not like a normal amount of porn. Well before the internet. 

It’s often the case that individuals struggling with porn addiction developed this issue around the age of 11 or earlier. Such early exposure can alter the brain’s chemistry in significant ways.

Experiencing the impact of pornography on your brain chemistry can happen without any direct interaction needed. Unfortunately, a significant number of individuals struggle with varying degrees of addiction to this medium, and its harmful effects are particularly noticeable among young men. However, it’s crucial to understand that pornography is one of the most toxic forms of entertainment out there.

That sequence of events essentially took place unnoticed and served as a kind of hidden pit where I found myself drawn in, an escape that I found comfortably addictive.

Nobody was aware of it, and since it wasn’t causing harm to anyone, I didn’t experience a strong sense of shame. It’s just something that men often do.

‘I don’t consume alcohol or drugs, and I pay close attention to my diet. Since I travel for shows frequently, I often find myself staying in hotels by myself. I want to make it clear that I’m not being inappropriate.’

‘I find myself spending long hours on my phone when I’m alone, sometimes even for the whole night. It makes me wonder, what kind of life am I leading if this is how I spend my nights?’

Comedian and Love Actually star reveals he 'fell into a hole' during his 'toxic' porn addiction as he details his journey to recovery
Comedian and Love Actually star reveals he 'fell into a hole' during his 'toxic' porn addiction as he details his journey to recovery

The response isn’t something I desired, so I chose to cease. Yes, I did pause, and it has been incredibly liberating. It’s been incredibly liberating when I sought assistance for this issue; I wasn’t anticipating that I wouldn’t ever look at porn again.

What I was there for wasn’t that at all. When someone initially proposed it, I responded with something like, “Oh no, not likely! I have so many things I refrain from doing.

Four months later, I found myself feeling significantly improved. There’s a newfound clarity in my thoughts, and a sense of tranquility that envelops me. I no longer carry the burden of shame as heavily as before.

Inquired as to the reason behind him choosing to discuss his addiction openly, Mark explained: ‘When I initially sought recovery, I was quite young and unaware that there were others like me struggling with addiction.’

As a conscientious individual, I was unaware that there existed another soul who, for instance, resorted to scavenging food from trash bins, betrayed the trust of people they held dear by stealing from them, and had the audacity to deny their actions when confronted directly with a firm “no.

And giving them a glance that conveys, your question feels painful, and it’s regrettable that you feel compelled to ask about something we both understand my involvement.

When I embarked on my recovery journey […] And you find yourself weeping and you go, “I rummaged through a trash can,” and someone responded, “Yes, the same happened to me.” And you’re taken aback, thinking, “What?

‘And then you realise that keeping things secrets will, I mean, for addicts, it’ll just kill you. It literally kill you. I’ve known so many friends who’ve gone back out there and gone back out there means gone back into their addiction. 

They passed away. It proved lethal for them. This early lesson taught me the importance of being transparent in suitable situations. Regrettably, I learned a bit too late when it wasn’t prudent or secure to do so.

Comedian and Love Actually star reveals he 'fell into a hole' during his 'toxic' porn addiction as he details his journey to recovery

Therefore, it seems crucial to maintain privacy or secrets, safeguarding your belongings. He mentions this while discussing his struggle with porn addiction. However, to each their own, I suppose.

‘There are numerous men struggling with this issue, and I understand why some people might react negatively, but I sincerely hope that anyone who listens to this and experiences discomfort after viewing certain things seeks help. Everyone deserves to feel comfortable and at ease.’

That principle, avoiding lies that could harm relationships with significant people, is now crucial for me.

In the past, Marcus mentioned that it was during his time at boarding school as a child that his issues with excessive eating started to surface. However, medical professionals dismissed his worries about it.

In a 2011 interview, he candidly expressed that he was still harboring some lingering resentment regarding the situation. There was one specific doctor, an authority on eating disorders, who often acted as a mediator in disputes between his parents and him.

They were constantly called to school whenever I got into trouble for acting badly. This man would warn me that he was going to silence me by wiring my jaw shut. He’d often say, “You understand, Marcus, the issue here is, you’re far too overweight.

Couldn’t he have thought I wasn’t aware of it? In the quietness of my dorm room, I would reach out, longing to dislodge pieces from my own self.

In 2013, Marcus divorced his first wife Sophie, after it emerged he’d cheated on her. 

12 years into their marriage, Sophie Brigstocke discovered that her husband had been unfaithful, about a month after he penned an effusive personal article for a nationwide newspaper, detailing the joys of his family life.

The Hidden 20% is available wherever you get your podcasts. 

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2024-10-30 17:21

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