Gillian Anderson admits she wishes she had a more active sex life when she was single and highlights the importance of ‘fantasy’ in the bedroom

Gillian Anderson admits she wishes she had a more active sex life when she was single and highlights the importance of 'fantasy' in the bedroom

As a psychologist who has spent decades studying human behavior and relationships, I find Gillian Anderson‘s insights particularly enlightening. Her experiences, both personal and professional, have given her a unique perspective that she generously shares with us.


On The Modern Love Podcast, Gillian Anderson shared that, while she was unattached, she regretted not being more adventurous in intimate encounters. She also talked about her thoughts on love, connections, and the role sexual fantasies play.

56-year-old actress from The X-Files sat down with host Anna Martin midweek for a chat about the Modern Love essay titled ‘On Tinder, Off Sex’. This piece recounts a woman’s journey towards unintentional celibacy following a distressing split.

The author often daydreams about past and future romantic relationships, yet she finds it difficult to move beyond a state that her doctor referred to as ‘continued abstinence.’

After listening to the essay about abstinence on the podcast, Anna inquired of Gillian whether any points resonated with her regarding the woman’s experiences with abstaining from sexual activity.

Gillian admitted that there were instances in her past when she might not have been as “engaged in romantic or sexual activities” as she could have been.

Gillian Anderson admits she wishes she had a more active sex life when she was single and highlights the importance of 'fantasy' in the bedroom

Gillian Anderson admits she wishes she had a more active sex life when she was single and highlights the importance of 'fantasy' in the bedroom

She confessed: “At times during my solitary periods between relationships, I found myself unexpectedly more inclined to engage more actively in intimate activities compared to before.

She stated: ‘However, I understand that situation didn’t seem like an action I was performing. Instead, it felt like an action being performed upon me somehow.’

However, I believe individuals might develop this routine over time. I consider it an effortless habit to acquire, almost as if you’re placing it aside for later.

The star also revealed how practicing intense yoga on a daily basis helped her to snap out of it. 

She mentioned that she had been unattached for some time, residing in Los Angeles during this phase. She was in the midst of transitions between relationships and was likely around thirty.

As of late, I’ve embarked on a daily practice of challenging Ashtanga yoga. This routine has left me feeling remarkably connected to both my inner self and my physical being – a connection I believe is stronger than any I’ve experienced in my lifetime.

I shared with Anna that since I began committing to regular yoga practice, I’ve noticed an uplifting change – people seem naturally drawn to me more often.

She confessed: ‘There was a period of time where people were just popping up out of the woodwork.’

Gillian Anderson admits she wishes she had a more active sex life when she was single and highlights the importance of 'fantasy' in the bedroom
Gillian Anderson admits she wishes she had a more active sex life when she was single and highlights the importance of 'fantasy' in the bedroom

‘Like literally, I would be anywhere. I’d be standing at a Starbucks, I’d be walking down the road. It was just like, what has happened?’ 

Before, things were different. But on this occasion, it felt as though there was a certain energy or ease within me, almost a sense of harmony with my own being.

As a lifestyle expert, I’d say, “I noticed an uptick in my self-assurance and vibrancy, which seemed to resonate with others around me.

In their conversation during the podcast, Anna and Gillian touched upon the significance they attributed to fantasies within romantic connections.

Anna inquired from Gillian whether it’s appropriate for individuals in a real-world relationship to continue developing their imaginative or fantastical aspects of their lives.

Gillian acknowledged that having sexual fantasies within a relationship is considered ‘normal’ and can serve as a means to strengthen the bond between partners.

She confessed: ‘No, I think a fantasy life in a relationship is really healthy. I mean, some people can’t reach climax without a fantasy helping to get them there.’ 

Additionally, I believe expressing it together with your significant other can be remarkably beneficial for both your emotional health and your intimate life. This shared experience could even lead to a more satisfying sexual relationship between you two.

If you think you could open up about personal matters that are quite private, as these revelations might strengthen connections with others.

In conversation about the book “Want: Sexual Fantasies by Anonymous,” Gillian confessed it took her some time to anonymously submit one of her own sexual fantasies.

Gillian confessed that she encountered resistance, explaining, “There was resistance within me as I wrote. I’d make progress, only to find myself resisting the act of putting into words thoughts that came easily to my mouth.

In informal and easy-to-understand language: ‘What I might spontaneously say inappropriately could surprise me, but when I write them down, it feels different. I almost hit Send, and they would reach someone at my publisher instead.’

‘It was just the writing of it down. I thought, what is that? I mean, what is that?’ 

Gillian Anderson admits she wishes she had a more active sex life when she was single and highlights the importance of 'fantasy' in the bedroom
Gillian Anderson admits she wishes she had a more active sex life when she was single and highlights the importance of 'fantasy' in the bedroom

In an innovative work, Gillian compiles and presents a variety of secret sexual fantasies by women from different parts of the globe (including one of her own, kept confidential as well).

Each entry is full of desire, fear, intimacy, shame, satisfaction and, ultimately, liberation.

Gillian is primarily recognized for playing FBI Special Agent Dana Scully in the science fiction show The X Files, Lily Bart in the film adaptation of The House of Mirth, DSI Stella Gibson in the BBC crime series The Fall, Jean Milburn in the Netflix series Sex Education, and Margaret Thatcher in the Netflix drama series The Crown.

She’s also been recognized with multiple prestigious awards, including two Primetime Emmys, two Golden Globes, and a total of four Screen Actors Guild Awards.

The actress met her first husband Clyde Klotz on the X Files set and they tied the knot in Hawaii on January 1 1994. 

Later on, the duo embraced their child, Piper Maru, who was 29 years old at the time, a few months afterwards. Regrettably, they parted ways and got divorced in 1997.

2004 saw Gillian’s marriage to Julian Ozanne, but they parted ways in 2006 prior to their official divorce, which was finalized in 2007.

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2024-09-19 00:37

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