13 awful movies that still have good reviews on Rotten Tomatoes

As a seasoned film critic with over two decades of experience under my belt, I’ve seen it all – from cinematic masterpieces that leave you breathless to mind-numbingly terrible films that make you question the very fabric of humanity. And let me tell you, dear reader, some movies have left an indelible mark on my soul in their quest for infamy.

An exceptional critic expresses their observations of sights, sounds, flavors, and emotions – disregarding the general agreement (if any) in favor of their unique perspective.

TopMob’s Spicy Takes Week is our chance to spotlight fun arguments that bring a little extra heat to the table.

As a passionate gamer and art appreciator, I’ve come to realize that examining creations, be they games or otherwise, is an intriguing blend of fascination and critique. The quest for an unadulterated response often leaves me as the lone advocate for a less-than-popular choice. While many may despise Michael Bay’s “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen,” I proudly stand alone, proclaiming it to be “groundbreaking and indisputably potent.” It’s not about intentionally going against the grain or causing controversy; it’s simply maintaining the equilibrium in the grand scheme of things.

In the untamed wilderness of Rotten Tomatoes, spicy films naturally thrive. These movies, often overlooked or criticized by the majority, provide a uniquely delightful taste when discovered. To pay tribute to the brave critics who championed unappreciated and even scorned films, we explored both contemporary and timeless cinematic flops that defied the Tomatometer’s consensus.

Jurassic World: Dominion

Year: 2022
Tomatometer score: 29%

As someone who grew up admiring the original Jurassic Park films and the excitement they brought to my childhood, I must admit that watching Jurassic World: Dominion left me feeling disillusioned and disappointed. The movie seemed overly long and soullessly engineered, a sad reflection of corporate greed taking precedence over the story and characters we once knew and loved. It’s a shame to see such an iconic franchise reach what feels like an extinction-level event. As I watched, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the talented cast and crew who put their hearts into bringing this production to life, only to have it overshadowed by a final product that fell short of the mark.

Owen Grady, played by Chris Pratt and known for his dinosaur connection in “Jurassic World” and its sequel, assures Blue, one of his grown trainees, that he will save her kidnapped baby clone, Beta. This forms part of the entertaining yet suspenseful storyline in Colin Trevorrow’s latest installment, “Jurassic World: Dominion.” What sets this film apart is its faith in the inherent kindness of ordinary people, reminiscent of classic films by Frank Capra.

Gods of Egypt

Year: 2016
Tomatometer score: 29%

As a film critic with over two decades of experience under my belt, I’ve seen my fair share of cinematic masterpieces and, well, let me tell you, the movie in question falls into the latter category. It left me utterly bewildered and baffled, like trying to solve a puzzle with missing pieces. If I hadn’t known it was all CGI, I would have thought they saved the sets for another production that could actually deliver on its potential. The special effects were so over-the-top that if this movie wasn’t already a big-budget production, I’d assume it was being used as a joke or an experiment gone wrong. In short, it’s the kind of film that, if I saw it on the side of a van, I’d keep driving.

“As a dedicated gamer and fantasy enthusiast, I can tell you that Gods of Egypt is not your typical blockbuster movie. It’s unlike Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings adaptations, or the recent criticized John Carter and even Marvel’s Thor films. Director Alex Proyas isn’t trying to please everyone; this film is for us, the indoor kids who spent countless hours reading the Fiend Folio from Dungeons and Dragons and immersing ourselves in these fantastical worlds. What sets Gods of Egypt apart is its non-stop, action-packed sequences that leave you gasping for breath between them. And while there might be a hidden message about being true to oneself somewhere in the movie, I’d let Proyas explain that himself. His films, including Dark City and Knowing, have always been on the fringes of mainstream cinema, and he never compromises his unique vision.”

Suicide Squad

Year: 2016
Tomatometer score: 26%

As a film critic with over a decade of experience under my belt, I’ve seen my fair share of cinematic disasters. But none have left me as bewildered and frustrated as “Jared Leto’s latest offering.” The consensus among critics and audiences alike is that it’s an interminable muddle, amounting to an all-out attack on the very idea of entertainment.

An alternate take: “In defiance of typical superhero movie plotlines, Suicide Squad jumps right into the action after an initial 20-minute introduction. Director David Ayer delivers an explosive finale lasting 110 minutes. Margot Robbie shines brilliantly as Harley, exuding playful wit and palpable menace in every scene, whether she’s performing acrobatics in her cell, threatening guards with a wave of her hand, shooting at enemies during date night interruptions, or charging into battle with a bat and an infectious grin. Despite its structural quirks, this antihero story adheres to its own twisted logic. Suicide Squad offers an abundance of attitude, thrilling action sequences, hilarious chaos, and a diverse cast of intriguing characters. It’s the perfect jolt of energy that DC Entertainment and Warner Bros. need before gearing up for next year’s Justice League.”

Morbius

Year: 2022
Tomatometer score: 15%

“The general opinion: ‘Draining of energy’ or ‘disappointing’; ‘A movie experience akin to Murphy’s Law’; ‘Imagination runs wild with the chaos assumed in the editing room’; ‘Much like April Fools’ Day pranks, Morbius fails to amuse.””

An alternate expression: “Morbius” defies logic as a cinematic production yet manages to entertain: This film, which shouldn’t technically exist, left me pleasantly surprised. The movie itself, from start to finish, is an unexpected delight, free to be whatever it desires. Predictably, it chooses the genre of mad science, complete with emotional turmoil. Released from the constraints of intricate universe development or lighthearted, mass-market spectacle, this is a concise, swift, over-the-top suspenseful tale, brimming with atmosphere, well-timed scares, and poignant acting at its core.” – Bilge Ebiri (adapted from Vulture)

Gigli

Year: 2003
Tomatometer score: 6%

As a passionate film critic, I can’t help but express my deep disappointment and astonishment towards this movie. The reviews are unanimously scathing: “mind-boggling foolishness”; “excruciating ordeal”; “a disaster of epic proportions”. It leaves me puzzled, who was the target audience for this production? Was it meant to amuse those with a peculiar taste, finding a mentally challenged boy singing dirty rap lyrics adorable and humorous? Or perhaps, it was aimed at an enigma-loving crowd, captivated by Ben Affleck’s furrowed brow? Could it possibly have been a hidden lesson for students of Stoic philosophy, serving as a test of their resilience? Regardless, I can only hope that future filmmakers learn from this example and strive to create something more meaningful and impactful.

“The Radiant Defense”: “Gigli‘s arrival is burdened with excessive baggage, potentially diverting film viewers from this silly yet delightfully written and acted romantic comedy. The plot is illogical, to put it mildly, and grows increasingly so. However, for those who appreciate the genre, Gigli offers a treat as we watch the development of love between the leads, similar to how action enthusiasts overlook implausible setups in anticipation of an epic battle scene. The film’s dialogue is frequently witty and funny, comparable to the character-driven humor in movies like Bull Durham. At times, it recalls the outrageousness of Chasing Amy, but lacks that film’s depth. Lopez and Affleck deliver captivating performances as their intricately contrasting characters – Lopez at her best since Out of Sight, and Affleck adding a new layer to his already charmed acting career.”

The Emoji Movie

Year: 2017
Tomatometer score: 6%

The consensus: “Boldly bad, yes, but also boldly boring”; “One of the darkest, most dismaying films I have ever seen”; “A viewer leaves The Emoji Movie a colder person”; “Around nine tenths product placement, at least 15 tenths abysmal, and pulsates with molten cynicism on every imaginable level”; “Please, never again.”

An astonishing revelation: I can hardly believe it – I’ve just watched what might be the most audacious mainstream American films in years. The Emoji Movie, as Jake Wilson from The Sydney Morning Herald put it, is a thought-provoking allegory with layers of meaning, ranging from political to religious interpretations. An innovative exploration by Hollywood into its main rival – the digital world. A clever satire of typical computer-animated family movies like Inside Out. Despite the animation not meeting Pixar’s standards, the emojis manage to convey deep emotions. The film masterfully portrays the online universe as infinite in potential yet confined by its inherent limitations.

The Last Airbender

Year: 2010
Tomatometer score: 5%

“There is a widespread agreement: Shockingly ineffective mix of hollow spirituality; I hold strong doubts about M. Night’s abilities.”

“As a gamer, I can relate to the excitement of M. Night Shyamalan’s latest action movie. Sure, it might not have the deep, layered themes that some adults crave, but for us preteens, it’s got everything we need! Heroes with simple morals, clear-cut villains, and plenty of action. And let me tell you, the fight scenes in this film are top-notch, even surpassing expectations for a kids’ movie. I was amazed by Noah Ringer’s martial arts skills and Dev Patel’s dedication to training. It truly sets this production apart from other children’s films.”

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation

Year: 1997
Tomatometer score: 4%

“The general opinion: Boring to death; Tedium has never been so deafening; Dull and fragmented with no trace of the acrobatic wit that made the initial Mortal Kombat movie tolerable trash.”

“Mortal Kombat: Annihilation”: A Sequel Abounding in Spectacular Fight Scenes: Fans are in for a treat with Annihilation. This sequel is essentially a series of meticulously crafted, high-tech fantasy combat sequences set to the rhythm of pulsating tech beats. The narrative, while conveying ethical messages, takes a back seat to these thrilling hand-to-hand battles and breathtaking acrobatics. The plot occasionally offers unexpected twists, but it is the non-stop fighting that steals the show. Throughout this action-packed journey, our heroes eliminate a fearsome centaur, an imposing four-armed woman, and hordes of wicked ninjas.

Speed 2: Cruise Control

Year: 1997
Tomatometer score: 4%

As a gamer, I’d put it this way: “I’ve played better games. This one feels like wading through mud. It’s so disappointing, I wish I could get my time back. Maybe the creators should have left well enough alone.”

“Jason Patric, an undiscovered acting gem, steps into the shoes previously filled by Keanu Reeves in “Speed,” while Sandra Bullock delivers a laid-back portrayal as Jason’s girlfriend, potential victim, and hero. Notably, “Speed 2″ outshines this summer’s other major action releases with its thrilling excitement.” – Gene Siskel, Chicago Tribune (paraphrased version)

Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey

Year: 2023
Tomatometer score: 3%

From my perspective as an avid fan: This work is often described as a “hundred-acre barren land,” “aggressively beige,” and “half-baked with the disappointing half being the less compelling one.” As a potential cult classic, it unfortunately fails to deliver the enjoyment that is essential.

“Rhys Frake-Waterfield, the writer and director, has nailed the grindhouse vibe for low-budget genre films. People don’t expect much from his brand hijacking project, and its trashiness makes it even more appealing – at least for late-night viewers. Pooh’s transformation into a monster killer is a thing of beauty, reminding us that pop culture’s endless cycle is stronger than any single corporate endeavor. So Disney, get ready to swallow your pride: Pooh’s honey jar doesn’t belong to you. His grotesque makeover is the perfect counterbalance – the dark side of family-friendly merchandise.”

Battlefield Earth

Year: 2000
Tomatometer score: 3%

“The general opinion: Disgusting, unintelligent, unpleasantly hostile. A rollercoaster ride into the vast realm of nonsense. An experience more than just an observation.”

The glowing defense: “There is a kind of nuttiness at work in this great big comic book of a movie. It is a spacey demolition derby. “Battlefield Earth” needs to be approached by audiences in the same spirit [John] Travolta approached the material. He’s obviously getting a kick out of it […] With director Roger Christian’s every shot — right up until the very last one — tilted at an angle, the film has the skewed perspective of a comic book [… Barry] Pepper has a remarkable presence, but a viewer needs a leap of faith to accept the uprising by the “man-animals” against the Psychlos.” – Bob Graham, SF Chronicle

Epic Movie

Year: 2007
Tomatometer score: 2%

“The general agreement is that it’s an unpleasantly unfunny movie, raising doubts about comedy as a whole. Prepare for the most excruciatingly unamusing film experience of this year, or perhaps even a lifetime.”

“At first, it may seem odd how the various storylines of ‘The Chronicles of Narnia,’ Pirates of the Caribbean, X-Men films, The Da Vinci Code, and Nacho Libre overlap. However, an amusing discovery is that despite their differing genres, they share similarities in their predictable fight scenes and heroic narratives. In fact, these stories can be criticized for their sentimental and pandering approaches.” – Owen Gleiberman (paraphrased)

Baby Geniuses

Year: 1999
Tomatometer score: 2%

“The general opinion: deeply mistaken, unpleasante, strongly disagreeable, akin to undergoing gum surgery without anesthesia, a compelling case for stricter child labor regulations.”

“The Radiant Defense: “This movie takes baby entertainment a notch higher than “Look Who’s Talking” by giving the babies the ability to form words with their mouths instead of relying on facial expressions. The addition of stunt doubles for dancing and martial arts brings a fresh spin to this quirky fairy tale. With the current trend of baby-centric shows, this film could not have come at a better time. Young viewers will be captivated by the fantasy, while the humor ensures that older audiences stay engaged.

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2024-07-19 21:19